I SURRENDER...

Saying Sayonara, Part I

2012-02-12T02:23:00.000-08:00

not gonna lie, i've been avoiding writing this blogpost. because writing it means that i have to come face-to-face with the reality that i did say "sayonara" to Japan, that i did actually leave, and that i don't know when i'm going back.

my past year and a half in Japan was the most amazing, challenging, growing, breaking, wonderful, unforgettable time i've ever had. i met some amazing people and saw God do some amazing things. and 2 weeks ago i had to say goodbye, not knowing when i would be able to return. but i want to share all that happened my last month in Japan, even though it makes me miss Japan so much. i've never missed a place or people so much, so it is definitely a testament to how much God grew my heart for Japan and Japanese people. it's hard to believe that 4 years ago i argued with my friend Gen, not wanting to go to Japan. i thank God that He used Gen to push me to go on my first short mission trip to Japan, which led to my 2nd mission trip, which led to 1 1/2 years of STINT in Tokyo with Cru. ok, here's a recap of the last 2 weeks of December:

on December 13th, i learned i would have to leave Japan, and that i had one more month to finish up everything i thought i had 7 more months to do. i barely had time to process it at all, but my way of processing became making lists of everything i had to do and all the people i had to see. that next week, i met with several students, learned a new dance with Odori Samurai, planned Student Impact's Christmas event, met up with my friend brandon who was visiting, and skyped into several team meetings prepping us for Hawaii. i got very little sleep that week. at the end of that week, i realized i hadn't gone to bed before 3:30 am in at least 3 weeks. the week of Christmas was busy, but fun. on the 20th, Paddy held their annual Christmas party, where we all dressed up and went to a nice restaurant and exchanged presents. we also had a "Rock-Paper-Scissors" tournament. no joke. and guess what? i won! it was kind of awesome. i learned that Japanese people always do scissors first. not sure why. but i won like 7 rounds of rock-paper-scissors just with rock. anyway, i won 5 free gift certificates to Sweets Paradise, an all-you-can-eat desserts buffet. it made my day. i love Sweets Paradise, and it was one of the places i wanted to go before i left Japan so it was perfect. on the 21st i went to Waseda and met a student for lunch, then went to my last futsal practice with my futsal team Diente FC. it was sad. when i told the guys it was my last practice one of them said "awww now we don't have any girls!" at least they appreciated that i was a girl... afterward i went to Odori Samurai practice to prepare for our festival in Itoh (a couple hours from Tokyo by the beach). the 22nd was our festival- we all met in Itoh and went to our ryokkan (traditional Japanese-style hotel), changed and warmed up by the beach. it was really cold. they actually had huge heaters set up near the stage to keep us warm before we performed. it was really fun to perform though, and afterward there was a huge fireworks show and we danced with at least a couple hundred other yosakoi dancers from other places in Japan. afterward, we went back to the hotel and changed, then we had an all night party. it was an experience. i've never been to an all-night Japanese party before. we had trivia games, tons of snacks and drinks, and many, many performances that had been prepared by members of Odori Samurai. most of them i didn't understand, but it was still fun to watch. the problem was that the later the hours got, the more tired we all became and the less they could speak english and the less i could speak japanese. but it was still pretty entertaining. i stayed up until about 5 am and then fell asleep- got about 2 hours of sleep before breakfast. i could have skipped it, but wanted to be awake for breakfast because ryokkans do really traditional Japanese breakfasts and while they are a bit strange (no Poptarts, sadly) i didn't know when i might have another one. after breakfast we all played on the beach a bit and then headed home.
that afternoon i had coffee with my friend Nagisa and got to share my testimony with her which was cool, then i came home and slept a lot. December 24th i went to New Hope Church's Christmas Eve service, which was good but lonely without a team. that night i did some last minute Christmas shopping and then had KFC and Christmas cake with my roommate Anita, and we watched Elf. Christmas Day i spent with my boss and his family and got to skype with my family.
the 26th i took a day off, and the 27th i met with my friend Sara for the last time and then met with another girl named Miriam after that. the next day i had lunch with a girl from ICU High School named Nobuko, then had some catch up time with my friend Tomo from church. the next day i had coffee with my friend Aya, then coffee again with my friend Kaori and got to share the Gospel and my testimony with her. so sweet. the next day i got coffee with two friends, Tamami and Takako- it was actually my first time to meet up with Takako since meeting her in May. that evening i went over to Cam's house with my roommate and a few other people and we celebrated an early New Year's together. it was my last time to hang out with his family before i left Japan. December 31st i went to homeless church, then got lunch with my friend Mai for the last time, then had New Year's Eve dinner with my roomies. after that i went to my friend Takehiro's house and several Paddy members got together for a New Year's Eve party. we made sukiyaki and udon, watched the Japanese New Year's Eve program, and played video games until midnight. after midnight we went to a shrine and did "Hatsumoude" or the "first going to the shrine of the New Year." ironically, i knew more about the custom than the Japanese students. growing up, they are never taught why they observe the traditions that they do, they just do them. Wikipedia provided all my Japanese New Year knowledge. even though we arrived at the shrine around 12:45 am, there was already a HUGE line of people. while we waited in line, i was able to share with some of the students why i was in Japan, why i believed God brought me there and my heart for the Japanese people. it was pretty sweet. once we arrived at the shrine, we threw in 5 yen, rang bells (to announce our presence to the god), clapped our hands twice (to wake up the god if he's asleep) and prayed. i prayed that every person at the shrine would learn about the true God, the one who is always awake, the one whom we do not need to ring bells or clap our hands to wake up, the one who always hears our prayers. after we finished at the shrine, we went back to Takehiro's house and played video games until the first train at 4:15 am. i scurried back home as fast as i could to collect my roommates so we could go watch "Hatsuhinode," the first sunrise of the new year. we biked to Gaidai University and climbed a hill to see the sunrise- it took awhile and was super cold, but we finally saw it. apparently we were lucky, because most of my friends were unable to see it in other places in Tokyo. once we got back home, i slept the rest of the day.

last two weeks of Japan in the next blog post...

Saying Sayonara, Part II

2012-02-12T02:13:00.001-08:00

continuing from "Saying Sayonara, Part I." i'll try to keep this as brief as i can and only put in the important events, but so much happened...ahhh ok.

January 3rd i went to Disney Sea (it's like Disneyland, but Sea...so it's better) with 3 of my friends from Paddy- Ayumu, Masa and Saori. we spent 13 hours at Disney Sea, going on rides, watching shows, taking pictures, and eating chocolate popcorn and cranberry popcorn and other strange types. at the end of the day, they surprised me with a Disney Sea 10th anniversary glass cup with my name engraved in it! it was so sweet, and they were really sneaky because i still have no idea when they had it made. i felt so loved though. Thursday i had lunch with my friend Beth, a girl who visited Odori Samurai one time but is actually in the other yosakoi dance group at Waseda University. she's Japanese but lived in the States for a few years so she speaks perfect English. it was fun getting to know her and i'm hoping we can continue the relationship even though i'm not in Japan. that evening Student Impact had a Sports Night where we played basketball and volleyball- it was really fun and awesome to get to see a lot of the students one last time before i left. Friday i went to the Ghibli Museum (http://www.ghibli-museum.jp/en/) one last time with 3 of my friends from Paddy- ironically, they had never been to the museum before, and it was like my 4th time. but i love the Ghibli Museum. i was able to share with them why i believe God has a plan for me in Hawaii, which was cool. that night i had dinner with my roommate Christina and a Japanese girl from USC who's now living in Tokyo. it was really fun to all hang out as USC grads and connect Mari (the Japanese girl) to Christina.

Saturday, January 7th, was my last time to go to homeless ministry in Yoyogi Park. i gave little presents to the homeless women who always come to my small group (i rarely know what we're talking about but they are super sweet). that day there was also a team from YWAM Kona who were visiting Tokyo for a few weeks- it was so cool to meet Christians who live on my island in Hawaii even before i'd gone to Hawaii. such a blessing from God. after homeless church i met up with my friend Iphie one last time. it was so great meeting with her- she's come such a long way. last year we would meet up and talk about Christianity but she was never fully interested, now she's become a Christian and just got baptized, is in a small group and plugged in to her church. so cool to see. i spent the rest of the afternoon getting souvenirs for people back home, then that night i went to Odori Samurai's New Year's party. it was fun seeing everyone again for the first time in 2012, and having one last opportunity for some good long conversations with Samurai. i even got to share some of the Gospel with a couple of the girls. the next day was my last day at New Hope Tokyo Fellowship Church. i really love that church, so it was really sad that it was my last time. some of the Student Impact students who attend the church took me out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant before the service. it was really fun hanging out with them. 2 of the pastors prayed for me after the service, and some of my team that went with me to Tohoku to volunteer took me out to coffee. also, speaking of Tohoku, while we were there, we went to a church and met the Japanese pastor. he lost everything, but still had a radiating, infectious joy, and guess what? he happened to be at New Hope Tokyo on my last day! it was so cool to see him again. that evening i went to my last Student Impact dance practice. we didn't actually dance- we just went out to dinner at a restaurant that has kind of become tradition for our group. it was fun hanging out with everyone one last time, and they gave me presents- a handmade picture frame and a huge heart-shaped card that everyone signed. it was sad to say goodbye to them- they've been such a huge part of my time in Japan.

read about my last week in Japan in Saying Sayonara, Part III...

Saying Sayonara, Part III

2012-02-12T00:38:00.000-08:00

continuing from Saying Sayonara, Part II...

Monday the 9th i had breakfast with Yusuke, and, crazy surprise- Ariel from my STINT team last year. he's back in Japan doing language school, and by awesome coincidence arrived in Japan only a few days before i left. while it was awesome seeing him, the coolest part of that breakfast was seeing/hearing Yusuke pray for breakfast. i remember back to when we first met him, and his spiritual journey as we shared the Gospel with him over and over, and saw his heart soften- i was there when he first came to church, when he asked to study the Bible with us, when he had his first Bible study, i suggested he join the Alpha Course at New Hope, and he called me the night he became a Christian and couldn't stop talking about it. seeing him pray for breakfast was just such a cool moment for both me and Ariel. he also told us he wanted to start a homeless ministry at New Hope. i cannot wait to see how God uses that kid. i feel like he could really grow into a strong Christian leader in Japan. after breakfast i went to lunch at my friend Sumire's apartment. it was the first time i've even gotten to see her since coming back to Japan, and unfortunately my last time til who knows how long. but it was really awesome catching up with her and getting to share why i know God's plans are best for me. after lunch with her, i had coffee with my friend Akisa. she shared with me that the day before, she told a boy that she liked him and he said he wanted to just be friends. after that, i was able to share with her my testimony and what God's shown me about love, and how God has someone amazing for her. that evening, Student Impact held a farewell party for me so that i could introduce some of the staff and Christian students to the students i'd met over the past year and a half. it was really last minute and i was afraid not many people could come, but many people did and it was an awesome time. i was able to share why i came to Japan with everyone, and a shortened version of the Gospel. my friend Megumi shared with everyone that i was the first person at Waseda University to approach her and talk to her, and i was her first friend at Waseda. my friend Nini shared that i was reason she started going to Paddy. i almost started crying- i had no idea about either of these things. another cool moment was when Cam, my boss, said that everyone would pray for me- i was really worried my non-Christian friends would be uncomfortable, but one of them actually prayed for me out loud! he said "even though i am not Christian, i want to pray for Kimiyo." it was crazy! even crazier- i haven't even seen this guy since my senior year of college, when we met at USC through a mutual friend! that night was the first time we've seen each other in Japan. so ridiculous. even better, later that evening i got to see one of our Student Impact students, actually a high school student, share the Gospel with one of my friends from Waseda University. i was able to share my testimony with the Paddy president and Nini. even better, that night Nini spent the night at our apartment because she missed her last train, and we were able to share the Gospel with her and give her a Bible! she told me that her friend had been studying the Bible, and it made her want to read it too! even if the only reason God had me leave Japan was that it provided these opportunities to share the Gospel with these students, it was worth it. it was still hard to leave, but because so many of my friends were able to hear the Gospel, it was still worth it.
Tuesday afternoon i went to Sweets Paradise with some of my friends from Paddy. Sweets Paradise is an all-you-can-eat-in-90 minutes desserts buffet, so basically, my favorite place in the world. afterward, i had coffee with my friend Blake and after that i had more coffee with my friend and former language partner, Manami. she's my longest Japanese friendship- i met her on my first Summer Project in 2008. we weren't able to hang out much this year because she was so busy, but it was great seeing her one last time. Wednesday was my last day going to ICU High School, so they had a bit of a farewell party for me as well, and i got to share with them as well why i came to Japan and how God loves them. after ICU High School, i went to Waseda and had kind of a come-and-go at the Waseda cafe, where i stayed there for the afternoon and friends came to hang out whenever they were free, the point being partly to say goodbye but also partly to introduce them to a couple of the JCCC staff. i was able to see like 9 of my friends in just a couple hours so that was great. that night i had my last Odori Samurai practice, where during my goodbye speech i was able to share a shortened version of the Gospel in Japanese. it was really sad to leave them. i sit here typing this in my Odori Samurai sweatpants and i hardly can believe i may never see them or dance with them again. Thursday was my last Paddy FC (soccer), and afterward Paddy hosted a farewell party for me. it was really sweet, and they bought me sushi because they knew i hadn't had any since coming back to Japan. Friday i had lunch with my friends yuki and shugo, and we were joined by my friend from Odori Samurai, Suzuka, who's currently studying abroad in DC but came back to Japan for the holidays. it was awesome hanging out with them one last time- Suzuka was one of my Samurai translators last year. after lunch, i had coffee with Kanae and Yui, the first 2 girls i ever met at Waseda, then i had coffee again with my friend May. after that, i went to my last Paddy meeting, and got to lead a topic discussion of "What do you do when the unexpected happens/ how do you respond?" it turned into a great spiritual conversation.
Saturday was my last Odori Samurai festival- we performed at a festival held at Tokyo Dome. it wasn't a major festival, but i was so excited to be able to perform one last time before i left. i highlighted my hair red for the occasion.
i got home that evening and spent the rest of the night furiously packing up my apartment. i stayed up all night, but was still rushing around in the morning before i had to leave. i definitely didn't leave my room or the apartment as clean as i wanted. we rushed to the bus stop and made it with only about one minute to spare (literally). some of the JCCC staff, Christina and Yusuke came to see me off which was really sweet. the whole past month had been such a whirlwind, it didn't really start to sink in that i was leaving until i was sitting on the bus waving goodbye.
that moment really sucked, not gonna lie. my heart hurt. i slept pretty much the entire 2 hour bus ride to the airport, got the airport and my friend Tomoki (the one who prayed for me at my farewell party) came to see me off. it was a really good thing he did too- i had planned on just bringing an extra bag to Thailand and paying the extra bag cost. turns out, Asia to Asia flights charge not by extra bags, but by extra kilograms...taking my extra bag was going to cost literally almost $1,000. seriously insane. so i had to ship my bag. unfortunately i didn't even have my shipping address for Hawaii yet, so Tomoki offered to take my bag and ship it for me once i got my address. praise God that he was there! the whole situation was really stressful though, made more so by the fact that my 2 bags together were still overweight, so i spent like 45 minutes taking stuff out, redistributing and reweighing. i'm still not actually sure if i actually made weight or if the lady just felt so sorry for me she said they were fine. either way, i barely made my flight. she had to go with me through security to get me to the gate on time. i made it with 5 minutes to spare. that whole day was the most stressful traveling day EVER, and i was already kind of an emotional wreck since i had to leave Japan. but i finally made it and slept the whole flight to Thailand.

the past year and a half has truly been the most unforgettable experience of my life. every day was filled with new friends, new challenges, new joys, new adventures. i have never been more stretched. i grew as a person and as a Christian. i learned more and more how to rely on God for EVERYTHING, because i had to. i learned how to share God's love with others through words and actions, i learned how to trust people, i learned patience, i learned how to have trust and joy in difficult circumstances. thank you to everyone who touched my life, and made my time in Japan such an amazing, wonderful memory. i pray with all my heart that God will allow me to return some day. God bless you all~

The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

2012-02-04T03:03:00.001-08:00

i just saw this preview for the Academy Award Nominee for Best Documentary Short: The Tsunami and The Cherry Blossom

http://vimeo.com/33991882

it made me burst into tears. first because of the terror and devastation that the people of Tohoku experienced, second because it reminded me of when i got to go to Tohoku and help with the relief and meet some of the survivors, and third because it made me miss Japan so much and reminded me why i want to be there so badly, so i can share God's love with the Japanese and help them rebuild their lives. it also made me cry because i still don't understand why it happened. it's impossible to answer that question. it's something i'm definitely asking God when i get to heaven.

here's actually a couple pictures i took of some cherry blossom trees in Tohoku about 1 month after the earthquake:

anyway, you should definitely watch the preview. and then the documentary. Japan still needs our prayers now more than ever.

keeping praying for Japan.

Saying Sayonara, Part I

2012-01-31T19:44:00.000-08:00

not gonna lie, i've been avoiding writing this blogpost. because writing it means that i have to come face-to-face with the reality that i did say "sayonara" to Japan, that i did actually leave, and that i don't know when i'm going back.

my past year and a half in Japan was the most amazing, challenging, growing, breaking, wonderful, unforgettable time i've ever had. i met some amazing people and saw God do some amazing things. and 2 weeks ago i had to say goodbye, not knowing when i would be able to return. but i want to share all that happened my last month in Japan, even though it makes me miss Japan so much. i've never missed a place or people so much, so it is definitely a testament to how much God grew my heart for Japan and Japanese people. it's hard to believe that 4 years ago i argued with my friend Gen, not wanting to go to Japan. i thank God that He used Gen to push me to go on my first short mission trip to Japan, which led to my 2nd mission trip, which led to 1 1/2 years of STINT in Tokyo with Cru. ok, here's a recap of the last 2 weeks of December:

on December 13th, i learned i would have to leave Japan, and that i had one more month to finish up everything i thought i had 7 more months to do. i barely had time to process it at all, but my way of processing became making lists of everything i had to do and all the people i had to see. that next week, i met with several students, learned a new dance with Odori Samurai, planned Student Impact's Christmas event, met up with my friend brandon who was visiting, and skyped into several team meetings prepping us for Hawaii. i got very little sleep that week. at the end of that week, i realized i hadn't gone to bed before 3:30 am in at least 3 weeks. the week of Christmas was busy, but fun. on the 20th, Paddy held their annual Christmas party, where we all dressed up and went to a nice restaurant and exchanged presents. we also had a "Rock-Paper-Scissors" tournament. no joke. and guess what? i won! it was kind of awesome. i learned that Japanese people always do scissors first. not sure why. but i won like 7 rounds of rock-paper-scissors just with rock. anyway, i won 5 free gift certificates to Sweets Paradise, an all-you-can-eat desserts buffet. it made my day. i love Sweets Paradise, and it was one of the places i wanted to go before i left Japan so it was perfect. on the 21st i went to Waseda and met a student for lunch, then went to my last futsal practice with my futsal team Diente FC. it was sad. when i told the guys it was my last practice one of them said "awww now we don't have any girls!" at least they appreciated that i was a girl...afterward i went to Odori Samurai practice to prepare for our festival in Itoh (a couple hours from Tokyo by the beach). the 22nd was our festival- we all met in Itoh and went to our ryokkan (traditional Japanese-style hotel), changed and warmed up by the beach. it was really cold. they actually had huge heaters set up near the stage to keep us warm before we performed. it was really fun to perform though, and afterward there was a huge fireworks show and we danced with at least a couple hundred other yosakoi dancers from other places in Japan. afterward, we went back to the hotel and changed, then we had an all night party. it was an experience. i've never been to an all-night Japanese party before. we had trivia games, tons of snacks and drinks, and many, many performances that had been prepared by members of Odori Samurai. most of them i didn't understand, but it was still fun to watch. the problem was that the later the hours got, the more tired we all became and the less they could speak english and the less i could speak japanese. but it was still pretty entertaining. i stayed up until about 5 am and then fell asleep- got about 2 hours of sleep before breakfast. i could have skipped it, but wanted to be awake for breakfast because ryokkans do really traditional Japanese breakfasts and while they are a bit strange (no Poptarts, sadly) i didn't know when i might have another one. after breakfast we all played on the beach a bit and then headed home.
that afternoon i had coffee with my friend Nagisa and got to share my testimony with her which was cool, then i came home and slept a lot. December 24th i went to New Hope Church's Christmas Eve service, which was good but lonely without a team. that night i did some last minute Christmas shopping and then had KFC and Christmas cake with my roommate Anita, and we watched Elf. Christmas Day i spent with my boss and his family and got to skype with my family.

the 26th i took a day off, and the 27th i met with my friend Sara for the last time and then met with another girl named Miriam after that. the next day i had lunch with a girl from ICU High School named Nobuko, then had some catch up time with my friend Tomo from church. the next day i had coffee with my friend Aya, then coffee again with my friend Kaori and got to share the Gospel and my testimony with her. so sweet. the next day i got coffee with two friends, Tamami and Takako- it was actually my first time to meet up with Takako since meeting her in May. that evening i went over to Cam's house with my roommate and a few other people and we celebrated an early New Year's together. it was my last time to hang out with his family before i left Japan. December 31st i went to homeless church, then got lunch with my friend Mai for the last time, then had New Year's Eve dinner with my roomies. after that i went to my friend Takehiro's house and several Paddy members got together for a New Year's Eve party. we made sukiyaki and udon, watched the Japanese New Year's Eve program, and played video games until midnight. after midnight we went to a shrine and did "Hatsumoude" or the "first going to the shrine of the New Year." ironically, i knew more about the custom than the Japanese students. growing up, they are never taught why they observe the traditions that they do, they just do them. Wikipedia provided all my Japanese New Year knowledge. even though we arrived at the shrine around 12:45 am, there was already a HUGE line of people. while we waited in line, i was able to share with some of the students why i was in Japan, why i believed God brought me there and my heart for the Japanese people. it was pretty sweet. once we arrived at the shrine, we threw in 5 yen, rang bells (to announce our presence to the god), clapped our hands twice (to wake up the god if he's asleep) and prayed. i prayed that every person at the shrine would learn about the true God, the one who is always awake, the one whom we do not need to ring bells or clap our hands to wake up, the one who always hears our prayers. after we finished at the shrine, we went back to Takehiro's house and played video games until the first train at 4:15 am. i scurried back home as fast as i could to collect my roommates so we could go watch "Hatsuhinode," the first sunrise of the new year. we biked to Gaidai University and climbed a hill to see the sunrise- it took awhile and was super cold, but we finally saw it. apparently we were lucky, because most of my friends were unable to see it in other places in Tokyo. once we got back home, i slept the rest of the day.

last two weeks of Japan in the next blog post...

We Fight Together

2012-01-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

when i was in Japan, my friend brandon started sending me Japanese pop songs to help me practice listening to Japanese as well as to educate me in Japanese pop culture.

a couple months ago he sent me a song called Fight Together. it is actually the new theme song for a really famous anime/manga called One Piece. i don't really know much about One Piece, but i really like this song. not only is it catchy, but i love the lyrics (even if they're a bit cheesy). the song is in Japanese, but this is the best translation i could find:

Let's leave before the dawn shows
Let's go meet a tomorrow we haven't seen yet
There's no regret about this decision
(Oh I know what I'm supposed to do)
What kind of trial awaits ahead?
My heart just can't stop beating fast
The place I want to reach is just one
(Fly to the light)

The bonds I got at the end of the fight
I won't let anyone broke them
If I just open the fists I grasped
I find my strength lying there

So let's start
A new world is calling
Hey, look there
No matter how many seas will separate us
I'll always be there for you
Without any fear, heading straight
Don't ever forget
We fight together

I never compromised
On that day, wherever I looked up
I saw an high endless sky
I came this far
And the several oaths in my heart
Are not hesitating now

I'm carrying them on my back
The sun rises and lightens my sadness up
I do believe it
One day we'll go find together
The future that connect us as one
There's no one who can substitute you
Don't ever forget
We fight together

when i first heard it a few months ago, it reminded me of my team- no matter how many seas separated us, we were still fighting together. we were still one STINT team, even though i was in Japan and they were still in the States.

also it reminded me that God is constantly telling me the same thing- we fight TOGETHER. He's not above me somewhere telling me "ok you have to be alone this is My plan go do your best" but He's saying "hey I know this is really hard- but i'll always be with you, don't ever forget, we fight together."

now that i'm in Hawaii, God's still telling me that message. we're fighting TOGETHER. God's still in Japan even though i'm not. God's everywhere in the world, and God's got His workers in every country. we're ALL fighting together.

may i awake every morning excited for the new adventure God has, not just for me, but for US. together.

here's the song if you want to listen to it- it's pretty catchy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HThv92Ilmw

Reflections of 2011...

2012-01-06T06:14:00.000-08:00

2011 was probably the biggest rollercoaster year of my life. it had so many ups and downs and loops and arounds and every which ways.

my sense of time is kind of skewed since a STINT "year" is usually is from August- July, so i almost feel like 2011 began in August 2010.

August 2010: i went to my first STINT briefing in Chicago (also my first time to Chicago) and met the people i'd be working with/living with/ becoming a family with for the next 10 months
September 2010: lots of support raising, waiting, and trusting God as we anxiously awaited our Japan visas
October 2010: we finally arrived in Japan and started ministry as a STINT team. i started going to homeless ministry in Yoyogi Park and met Yusuke. i joined Paddy (Waseda's English club).
November 2010:
December 2010: Christmas concert and Christmas outreach party
January 2011: went to Midyear conference in Thailand
February 2011: i decided to re-STINT
March 2011: survived the worst earthquake in Japan's history, Change conference, got evacuated to Kyoto for two weeks
April 2011: came back to Tokyo, started planning for the start of the new year, went to Tohoku to do relief work
May 2011: came back to Tokyo from Tohoku, went to Waseda University Welcome Week and met at least 100 students, joined Diente FC (my soccer circle) and Odori Samurai (my Japanese dance circle), met with students and shared the Gospel with many of them
June 2011: met with students for the last time before leaving Japan, went to Hokkaido and performed with Odori Samurai for the first time, went to Nikko for debriefing, left Japan and went back to Los Angeles for 2 weeks
July 2011: came back to Dallas, raised support to go back to Japan
August 2011: found out my support deadline was August 1st- sent out emergency email and God blessed me with 50% of my support in 1 week, then the rest of it and over in the next 2 weeks, went to STINT briefing in Chicago and met my new team
September 2011: 6 month anniversary of the Tohoku Earthquake and 10 year anniversary of Sept. 11, started reconnecting with students from Japan via email and Facebook, worked on raising support for my teammates, was humbled in waiting to leave for Japan until the end of September; arrived back in Japan on September 27, 2011
October 2011: settled back into life in Japan, reconnected with students, started going back to Paddy and Odori Samurai, started going to ICU High School, went to the World Gymnastics Championships, helped out with Student Impact's 2-day festival to raise money for Tohoku, went to Paddy's Halloween party, my friend from high school (Matt) visited Tokyo and we went to the Ghibli Museum
November 2011: performed at Waseda-sai for the first time, got to take several students to church, went to a Sports Festival 3 clubs from Waseda U. hosted, met a lot of new students, hung out w/ YWAM Tokyo, hit the 2 month mark of being in Japan by myself, had a breakdown from feeling alone and abandoned, was reminded of God's grace and love after my breakdown, celebrated Thanksgiving 3 times, my friend brandon came to visit Tokyo, USC beat UCLA 50-0
December 2011: went to Nagano for 2 days with Paddy, Cru decreed if the rest of my team's CoEs didn't arrive by December 7th they were sending them somewhere else, held a 48 hour prayer for the CoEs, found out Japan immigration had finally, after 4 months, made a decision, found out the CoEs were denied, found out i had to leave Japan 7 months earlier than i had planned and had to go to Hawaii to finish my STINT year, shared the Gospel with new friends, co-organized Student Impact's Christmas outreach event, celebrated Christmas twice- once with Cam's family and once with my roommates, met with as many students as i possibly could...

needless to say, 2011 was a busy year. i felt so run down by the end that i made one of my 2012 Resolutions that i would rest more. i'm now learning that i don't really know how to rest. so my new resolution is to learn how.

but in spite of everything, i grew so much, i learned so much, God showed me His love in every way possible and showed me that no matter what happens, He is ALWAYS with me and always loves me. He showed me that HIS plans are ALWAYS better, and that i can trust Him in every situation. it's not always easy, but i know i can hold on to His promises and trust him, remembering that "for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

may your 2012 be blessed with joy, love and hope, and may the Lord remind you every day that "He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

some of my favorite photos from 2011:
January: my STINT team in Thailand at our Midyear Conference
February: snow on Valentine's Day
March: before our Japanese dance performance at Student Impact's Change Conference, 3 days after the Tohoku earthquake
April: under the cherry blossoms with Paddy English Club
May: one of the girls from the evacuation center we stayed at in Tohoku while we did relief work
June: my 2010-11 STINT team at debriefing
July: getting to go to my old Artists in Action Bible study in LA
August: my new STINT Team
September:first glimpse of Japan from the airplane, 9.27.11
October: some Waseda friends at Student Impact's festival to raise money for Tohoku relief
November: my Waseda-sai Odori Samurai Group (#11)
December: Paddy Christmas Party 2011

Christmas in Tokyo Doesn't Make Sense/Santa and Sumo Don't Mix...

2011-12-25T07:32:00.001-08:00

i was on Grooveshark, looking at Christmas songs to add to my Christmas playlist (the poor man's way to listen to music) and i came across this random song called "Holding on to Christmas." curious, i hit play and the first lyrics were "Christmas in Tokyo doesn't make sense/Santa and Sumo don't mix..." and i was hooked. it's a pretty entertaining song. and has some truth in it too. Christmas in Japan really isn't, well, Christmas. sure there are a ton of Christmas lights everywhere (called "illuminations" in Japan), there's Christmas music blaring from every store, but they have no idea what the lights represent, they have no idea what the lyrics mean in the Christmas carols...to Japan, Christmas is simply an opportunity to capitalize on the commercialism of the season. they have no idea what the true meaning of Christmas is. and therefore Christmas in Japan really doesn't feel like Christmas. there's no "Christmas spirit" as it were. most people don't celebrate at all. or if they do, it's just an excuse to go out with your boyfriend or girlfriend, hang pretty lights, and eat KFC and "Christmas cake." seriously. some genius at KFC decided to advertise fried chicken as an "American Christmas tradition" and ever since it's been a staple of Japanese Christmas dinners. in fact, i even ate some last night. along with a Christmas cake from 7/11.

last year i spent Christmas with my STINT team. this year, since i had no STINT team, i went to my church's Christmas concert on Christmas Eve day, spent some time catching up with people, did some last minute Christmas shopping, then ate my very Japanese Christmas dinner and watched Elf with my roommate. this morning i went over to my Tokyo director's house and spent the day with his family. we ate french toast, sang Christmas carols, opened presents, skyped with my family, made fajitas and a gingerbread house, and topped it all off with watching It's a Wonderful Life. while it was definitely different than how i normally spend Christmas, it was fun to hang out with my surrogate Tokyo family. it would have been a pretty lonely Christmas without them.

tomorrow i'm taking a much needed day "off" (i still have plenty to do at home) and skyping with my team and probably my family again. i officially have 3 weeks left in Japan, so even taking a day and not spending all of it meeting students is really hard for me- my brain keeps screaming that i'm running out of time, but God is always telling me to rest and trust Him and i never do, so i'm going to do my best. i know God's going to take care of everything, but it's so hard when all i can think of is the billions of things i have to do and the impossibility of it all. but thankfully, we can do all things through Christ, so praise God for His birth!

here are some pictures to show you a bit of Christmas in Tokyo:
2 students after my church's Christmas concert- the girl in the middle, Natsumi, is not Christian yet but comes to my church every week!
Christmas Day with the Caughlans, my adopted Japan family
Mitaka Wish Tree- people write their wishes for Christmas/the New Year...there are a lot more wishes than last year me and my roommates with our Christmas decorations Christmas presents (we actually didn't open presents until December 29th b/c my roommate Christina was in Tohoku from Dec. 21st-28th

Merry Christmas everyone! God bless you!

HAWAII/JAPAN PROS & CONS

2011-12-20T09:03:00.001-08:00

HAWAII:
Hilo Population- 43,263
Average Temperature- 73°F

Pros:
- people speak english
- i know what i'm buying at the grocery store
- no trash sorting
- BEACH/mountains/gorgeous scenery
- relaxed culture
- no exchange rate

Cons:
- new culture
- new lifestyle/ ministry style
- new campuses
- it's not Japan
- needing to start over-- a new campus to learn, new friends to make, a new place to figure out

JAPAN:
Tokyo population: 13,000,000
Average Temperature: depending on season, anywhere from 25°F to 85°F

Pros:
- already established relationships w/ students
- Paddy, Odori Samurai, Diente FC
- amazing food
- amazing people
- amazing culture
- safest place in the world
- people are so helpful and return lost things

Cons:
- exchange rate
- trash sorting
- language barrier
- culture barrier
- trains
- big city-- crowded --too many people
- no dryers
- pollen season (cherry blossom season)
- people never really say what they mean/it's difficult to have deep conversations

Hawaii に行く。。。（日本語で）

2011-12-19T20:51:00.000-08:00

For my Japanese friends...hopefully the kanji is correct...

私はスチューデントインパクト（http://www.studentimpact.jp/）という国際的なNPO団体のインターンとして日本に来ています。私以外、八人のインターンが日本に来るはずでしたが、日本の法律が変わったため、彼らのビサ(visa)がとれませんでした。彼らは日本に来れなくなって、その代わりにハワイ(Hawaii)で働くことになりました。月曜日に私のスチューデントインパクトのディレクターと話して、私もハワイで働くことになりました。そこで、私は一月十五日に日本を去らなければなりません。これは私にとって、めちゃショックです。来年の八月まで日本にいると思っていました。日本を離れたくない。。。でも、仕方がない。。。私は日本が大好きです。だから、できるだけ早く戻れるようにがんばります。

Heading to Hawaii

2011-12-19T20:21:00.000-08:00

last Friday we learned my team's Certificates of Eligibility, required for Japan visas, were denied by the Japanese government. as soon as i heard "denied" on the conference call, tears just came streaming down my face. i really thought they would be accepted. i cried a lot that day. i cried 5 different times. i don't really cry much. ever. when i did gymnastics growing up, if you cried you got kicked out of the gym. i learned not to cry. but these past few months have been pretty trying, to say the least, and my tear ducts have been much more active as of late. but it was good. it was a release of all the tension and anxiety and everything these past 3 months have built up. at least we finally had an answer and could move forward.

but last weekend, i still wasn't sure what the future held for me. my directors both in the states and Japan discussed possibilities of staying in Japan and finishing my STINT year, but in the end they didn't really see a way that it could work. for one thing, i would have no place to live. i would have no team and it would be extremely difficult to do ministry by myself for the next 7 months. STINT is not designed to do alone. it's centered around the team. so to try and STINT without a team would not really be STINT at all. knowing all of that, i still told my leaders that if there was any way i could possibly stay in Japan, i would take it. but last Monday, December 12th, i received a call from one of my directors in the States that they had decided to send me to Hawaii for the rest of my STINT year. i can't say i was shocked, but it was still disappointing. and somewhat frightening, since they told me i had to leave Japan on January 15th. on the 15th i fly to Thailand for our Midyear Conference, where i'll meet my team and spend the week with them, then we fly to Hawaii on January 22nd. This gives me only one more month in Japan. i thought i had seven more months, so trying to cram all that into one month sent my brain into a chaotic frenzy of planning panic. unfortunately i had really no time to process that i was leaving, because as soon as i finished talking with my director i had to go to a goodbye party for one of the JCCC staff, then go to Samurai practice, where i shared with them that i was leaving. i definitely almost starting crying but i think i didn't because i was speaking in Japanese and so i had to concentrate more. the next day i spent all day on campus, and afterward went to Paddy and announced to THEM that i had to leave. once again, almost started crying but didn't. wednesday, thursday and friday my team was in LA briefing for Hawaii, so i had to skype into a lot of team meetings, while planning for our Student Impact Christmas party, going to Samurai practice and hanging out with my friend brandon who had come to visit Tokyo before going to the States for Christmas. because of the time difference, the team meetings were really tough for me- i had to stay up until 5 am for one meeting. the Christmas party ended up going incredibly well (even though i was one of the coordinators i seriously had no idea what was going on, who was doing what, or really anything....proves how insane these past few weeks have been for me- anyone who knows me knows that i always plan way too much- if i'm coordinating something, i have 5 different backup plans for everything...this is the first time i've been so unorganized and yet God still made it work. He's awesome like that). but the party still took all day/night and the next day was my roommate's birthday so we had a big party for her as well. yesterday i thought would be my processing day but that ended up not happening...

so here i am. over a week since i was told i had to leave Japan, and i'm still feeling as overwhelmed as i did last Monday. this time of year would be the busiest anyway because of Christmas, but to add the fact that i only have 4 more weeks in Japan just raises it to chaotic status. my mom reminded me that God wants me to enjoy my last month in Japan, but at the same time i do have to plan very carefully how i'll spend my time. after 14 months in Japan, i know about 500 people in Tokyo now...that's a lot of people to see in 4 weeks. i don't know how to prioritize people. there's also just a lot last things i'd like to do/need to do such as connecting the JCCC staff to all the students from last year, the summer projects and my own ministry this year. i have to sell 2 bicycles. i want to make presents for certain students/people i've met in Tokyo. plus cleaning my apartment and packing- packing things to ship to Texas (won't be needing winter stuff in Hawaii...), packing things to ship to Hawaii (can't take everything to Thailand) and of course packing for Thailand.

.....see? this is what my brain does. i don't know if it's because the emotions of leaving are too difficult so it's just resorting to planning mode or if that's just its way of processing, but all i can think about is the insane amount of things i have to get done.

i said in a previous post that leaving Japan would be the hardest thing i've ever done. i think it still will be, on more than one level. i'm really really sad to leave. i don't want to leave. i've made so many connections and i can see God working in this country. but i must trust God. i must trust that He wants us in Hawaii more than Japan right now. He doesn't need us here. He doesn't need us in Hawaii. but He chooses to use us.

there are things i'm excited about Hawaii. i mean, it IS Hawaii. there are worse places to be sent. but it's not so much as where i'm going, but what i'm leaving that makes it hard.

Jeremiah 29:11

DENIED.........

2011-12-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

Campus Crusade for Christ (or Cru, as it is now called) will be sending us a more official explanation of the situation soon, but until we receive that I wanted to make all of you fully aware of everything that has happened. For those who have been following the situation closely, you probably already know most of this, but I wanted to write it all down so you know exactly the timeline of events as they have played out these past few months.

In order to receive any time of work visa in Japan, you must submit a great deal of paperwork to the Japanese government, which they then process (usually within 1-3 months) and send you a Certificate of Eligibility (or CoE), which you then take to your nearest Japanese consulate, along with more paperwork, and then you can apply for your Japan visa. Japan is a country of very strict rules and regulations, and everything must be filled out perfectly. Every year, we have filled out the CoE paperwork the same. And every year, the CoEs arrive within 4-6 weeks. It has never taken more than 7 or 8 weeks. Last year we were able to get our CoEs in 4 weeks. Therefore, all of us (my team, our JCCC staff, our Cru leaders/directors in America) all assumed my team would receive their CoEs no later than the end of September or sometime in October. But they never arrived, and there was nothing else we could do but wait. The JCCC staff in Tokyo tried calling the Japanese Immigration office on almost a daily basis, but they were always put on hold and could not get through. So finally, on December 1st, we received an email from our director in California that if the CoEs had not arrived by December 7th, they would assume the door was closed on Japan for this year and would be sending my team to another location. On December 6th, after a 48-Hour Prayer (thank you so much to all of you who joined with us in prayer, not only then but through this whole process) the JCCC staff were able to contact Immigration and learned they had just made a decision that day and would be sending the decision in the mail that day, but would not disclose the information over the phone. This was such a huge answer to prayer just in itself, as we had not heard anything from Immigration in months. We assumed the decision would arrive Wednesday or Thursday, but it did not. Finally, Friday morning, JCCC received the mail, a single piece of paper saying that Japan had denied our request for Certificates of Eligibility. This has never happened in the history of Cru. Our leaders set up an emergency conference call 30 minutes after they received the news, and told us that my team would be sent to Hilo, Hawaii to finish out the remainder of their STINT year, probably by the end of next week.

SO…what does that mean for me? Honestly, I still do not know. While our directors feel that it would be better for me to be with my team, they are still open to discussing the possibility of me staying in Japan. If I end up joining my team in Hawaii, I will most likely wait until after our Midyear Conference in Thailand in the middle of January. It is possible they will give me a bit more time, it is possible they will let me stay in Japan, but right now nothing is certain. I will go where God calls me, but if I have to leave Japan 7 months early, it will be the most difficult thing I have ever done. My heart and ministry are completely rooted in Japan. But I will let you know what happens- hopefully there will be an official decision in the next few days.

I’m sure you have a few questions- I have done my best to answer ones that I myself had, but if you have any other ones feel free to email or Skype me.

Q: Why did Cru wait so long before making a decision?
A: Honestly, because this situation is so unprecedented, no one quite knew what to do. Everyone (including myself and my team) was holding on to the assumption of “maybe tomorrow the CoEs will come…maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow…” and a great deal of time can go by when you think like that. Also, if they had decided much earlier to send my team somewhere else, and then the CoEs had arrived but Cru said “No thanks”, it would cause major problems for any STINTer who wanted to re-STINT in Japan next year.

Q: Why was there not more done to get in touch with Japanese Immigration?
A: In America, our natural response to people ignoring us is to push them and pester them until something gets done. In Japan, the squeaky wheel does NOT get the grease. In fact, it would more likely be simply thrown away. It is a country of extremely strict, unyielding rules and regulations. If you push them, you will more likely get a flat refusal than help. Cru did not want to risk the possibilIty of being denied just because we had inquired about it too often. Also, JCCC wants to maintain as good of a relationship with the government as possible, and did not want Japan to feel pressured by us, because otherwise the Japanese government could decide not to allow Cru to function at all in Japan.

Q: What about a tourist visa?
A: After the Korea CCC STINTers’ CoEs were denied, they did go ahead and come on tourist visas; however, once they arrived in Japan they were interrogated for hours about why they were so desperate to come to Japan even after their CoEs were denied, and were told not to do any evangelism. Cru did not want to put my team in the same situation and risk further suspicion from the Japanese government.

Q: Why Hawaii?
A: Hilo, Hawaii has a huge Japanese population. There are only 2 staff in Hilo, and they greatly need assistance. We cannot go to a closed country due to security reasons, nor can we go to any country that has poor English ability since there is not much time to learn a different language. Also, Cru does not want to waste any more time making my team get new visas for a different country, and while Hawaii is still America, it is still an “overseas STINT experience.” Their ministry focus will be pioneering campuses and launching movements, similar to what we do in Japan.

Q: Would you rather be in Hawaii or Japan?
A: Honestly, if Cru gives me the option of staying in Japan, I would take it in a heartbeat. The idea of leaving breaks my heart. It would be extremely challenging without a team, but I know if God wants me here, He will provide everything I need and He will work through me. Granted, I’ve never been to Hawaii. Hawaii would be cool. I have definitely missed having a team for fellowship, accountability, spiritual growth and of course, ministry assistance. But if it came between choosing to work with a team and work with Japanese students in Japan, I would choose Japan. As I said before though, I will go where God calls me.

If you have any other questions, concerns, anything, please do not hesitate to email me at kimiyo.brown@gmail.com or we can set up a Skype call (Skype name: kimiyo629) or I can call you if that is easier.

I truly cannot thank you enough for all your love, support and encouragement through all this.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,'" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

CODE RED EMERGENCY PRAYER

2011-11-30T16:11:00.000-08:00

The Japanese government still has given us no information about the status of my team's Certificates of Eligibility. Unfortunately in Japan, the squeaky wheel does NOT get the grease- if you pester them about something, they will most likely decide not to deal with you at all. So not only do we not have any information, but we are unable to do much about it. Also, right now the Japanese government is not too happy with Japan Campus Crusade for Christ- after the Korea CCC team's paperwork was denied, they came to Japan on tourist visas, but they were stopped at Immigration and interrogated as to why they still came to Japan after their paperwork was denied. It is not a good situation.

Unfortunately, that is not the worst of it. I just received an email from our director in America, saying that if my team's paperwork is not accounted for by NEXT TUESDAY, December 6th, they will be sending my team to a different location! This also means that I too would probably be sent to whichever country they send my team. This would break my heart- there is no place I would rather be in the world than Japan and working with the amazing students I have grown to know and love. Even though this year has been really difficult without a team, it has also been incredibly rewarding and God is doing amazing things in this country. I submit to His authority and will go wherever He sends me, but my heart will always be in Japan.

PLEASE PRAY FERVENTLY THAT MY TEAM'S PAPERWORK WOULD ARRIVE BY NEXT TUESDAY AND THAT THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO COME TO JAPAN!!!!!

I will keep you all as updated as I can about the situation.

I cannot thank you enough for all of your love, prayers and support, and for joining me on this crazy adventure of STINT. i'm learning every day that I cannot plan anything, and that nothing is certain, but in spite of it all, God is sovereign and His plans are perfect.

Being Samurai

2011-11-27T21:12:00.001-08:00

i first saw Waseda's yosakoi soran (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosakoi) team, Odori Samurai ("Dancing Samurai," or 踊り侍 in Japanese), during Waseda's Welcome Week in May. not gonna lie, i thought they were really cool. and i really wanted to join their group. but i had no idea how. and i couldn't find their booth to ask them. then all the sudden, i saw a girl walk right by me in her Samurai costume. i asked her if she spoke engish and she said "yes!" (that never happens in Japan- they always say "no" or "a little bit" even if they are fluent...) i told her i was interested in Samurai. she took me to the booth and introduced me to one of the leaders and gave me information. the next day they had a party for interested freshman, so myself and Ariel (one of my teammates from last year) went to the party. we met the 2 subleaders (Anzu and Jun) and they spoke some english as well! as they walked us to the party location, Anzu and i talked a lot and i shared with her i was a theatre major, and i did a few student films for my friends. she asked about them, so i told her my last one i played a ninja and someone called the cops on us because i had a katana and was dressed as a ninja. she thought it was really funny and decided then and there to nickname me "Ninja." and from that moment, i was hooked. if i had wanted to join the group before, i REALLY wanted to join then! at the party, they showed past Odori Samurai performances and i was even more hooked. it looked so cool and so much fun! there were about 150 students in the group, mostly from Waseda but from other universities as well, and they were the loudest, most outgoing Japanese students i had ever met. it seemed an ideal place to use dance to meet students and be a light in one of the biggest clubs at Waseda. so i joined.

but ever since i joined, it's been a continual battle with Satan. i'm the only foreigner in the group, and because all the practices are in Japanese, and all the emails are in Japanese, i always need translation and always feel a bit behind and lost. i must completely rely on the english-speaking Samurai to help me out. this is a huge challenge for me, because i have a natural tendency to feel that whenever i have to ask someone for something, it's a huge burden on them and i'm being annoying. which is totally untrue, but it's something i've always struggled with and here i am, placing myself in a group where i must ALWAYS ask for help. therefore, it's a daily battle with Satan, who tells me constantly that i'm a failure for not knowing Japanese well enough, that i don't really belong, that the Samurai think i'm annoying, that i'm "the foreigner," that i'm stupid because i never understand anything...of course, all of these thoughts are untrue, and i know that, but it's a major challenge to fight it all the time. but it's been such a blessing too. the Samurai are so sweet and kind and helpful, and really do make me feel loved. many of them have come up to me and want to practice English. many of them, even though they don't speak english that well, have offered to translate for me. before i left for America, they surprised me with a birthday cake and sang Happy Birthday to me. when i came back to Japan, they were so excited. and they really do make an effort to make me feel included.

one day i was talking with one of the girls, debating whether or not to join in a certain festival because only a few people could go. i said maybe i wouldn't go because i wanted to let other students go. she said, "why do you feel like that? you're a Samurai!"

it was a good feeling. yeah- i AM Samurai! but it's something i have to remind myself. sometimes i really do feel on the outside. on Sunday there was a huge party, mostly a goodbye for the 3rd years who are now having to end their Samurai career and begin their job-hunting. it was fun, but i couldn't understand any of the skits, and i couldn't understand our leaders' final speeches, and it was frustrating. after the party, everyone spent a long time hanging out and talking with the 3rd years, and i couldn't even really do that because there's only so much Japanese i can say/understand...also frustrating. i very much felt like an outsider looking into a special emotional moment that i couldn't really join. on the whole it was a fun night, and it was good to see the 3rd years one more time, but it was also draining and difficult.

today's Samurai practice was near a train station i'd never been to before, Senkawa. let me explain what i go through just to get to Samurai practice. they send an email with the time and place the night before. it's in Japanese, so i have to Google Translate it. 3/4 of the time, Google is unable to translate the train station. so i have to find a Japanese friend who is online who can translate it for me. then i double check it with at least 2 people just to make sure (i've had friends be wrong before). then i look up the train route online, allowing myself at least 15-20 minutes extra so i can get their early and make sure i can meet Samurai at the station. why? because they send directions from the station in Japanese, and i can't read it. a month or so ago, i accidentally took the wrong train and ended up being really late to the station. i asked one of the train workers if they could tell me how to get to the gymnasium. he couldn't speak English or explain the directions, so the guy actually walked with me 15 minutes to the gym. it was beyond kind of him, but i was super embarrassed and really late to practice, so since then i've done my best to allow myself extra time to make sure i don't get left behind again. so once i've figured out the train route (usually the practice locations are random and far away and i have to take at least 3 different trains...) i write it down and the next day i pray like crazy i don't get lost and i would find Samurai at the station.

so today...oh today. today i got to the station, and there were several different exits. i didn't know which one to go to so i sent messages to a few of the Samurai. no one was getting back to me, and i started getting nervous. finally got a response with some landmarks of where i should be, but i didn't see any of them, and started thinking i was at the wrong station. my friend told me to ask someone where the Keio train line was and then go there. i asked. they said there was no Keio line station.....uh oh, i thought. i emailed the new Samurai leader and said i wasn't sure where i was and i'd probably be late. he actually called me to try and help me out, and he said he would send someone to come get me at the Keio line station. i went back to the station and asked one of the train workers how to get to Senkawa station's Keio line. he pulled out a map and pointed to a totally different part of Tokyo! apparently, there are TWO Senkawa stations...and they're about an hour apart from each other. and i'd gone to the wrong one. i had to call my leader and tell him it would take me almost an hour to get to the right station. he was willing to still send someone to get me, but it was a 20 minute walk from the station to the gymnasium, and i didn't want to make someone miss almost an hour of practice just to come get me...i felt like such a pain and a burden. and i felt so stupid for going to the wrong station. and guilty b/c my leader texted me and actually apologized to ME for not being able to help me better, and that made me feel bad. i came home feeling stupid and defeated. i ended up calling my friend brandon and venting, and broke down crying in the middle (this seems to be becoming a habit...need to work on that). he was very sweet but also told me i need to stop over-thinking Samurai so much, that everything they do for me proves how much they care about me, and i can't allow myself to believe the lies. he also said "i don't understand why you have such a difficult time accepting kindness from people and believing that people actually want to help you. you give so much, and yet whenever anyone helps you or is kind to you, you think it's such a burden for them. your friends want to help you. let them. also i don't understand why you don't feel like you're a part of Samurai. they think you are."

so what does it mean for me to be a member of Odori Samurai? well, it means a lot of practices, a lot of brain power, a lot of attempting to speak and listen to Japanese. it means i have a lot of chants and dance moves to memorize. it means going to a lot of places in Tokyo i've never been and sometimes getting lost. it means sometimes feeling out of the loop. but it also means i can wear my Samurai sweatpants and hoodie proudly. it means i introduce myself as Ninja. it means getting the chance to perform at huge festivals all over Japan with tons of other yosakoi teams. (this is a video of my first ever Odori Samurai yosakoi festival in Sapporo, Hokkaido- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ9L5J0jilw) it means when i talk with students, and mention i'm a member of Odori Samurai, their immediate reaction is "WOW!!! that is so cool!" i means i wear crazy awesome costumes and face paint and dye my hair to show "guts and enthusiasm." it means having a camaraderie and community of almost 150 crazy, lovable, wonderful people. here are a few memories of Samurai so far: our 2010-11 leader, nickname:Punk. his hair was really that green Jun, one of the subleaders Anzu, the sub-leader who named me Ninja
Paragon- a 3rd year who worked super hard to improve his english after meeting me Galileo, possibly the best english speaker of the 1st years- SUCH a blessing and help for me my Waseda-sai group- love these people!

we have a chant that roughly translates to "now, together with one heart, Odori Samurai is here" and our theme this year "Samurai for all, all for Samurai." it's so true. we're more than just a university club. we're a family. sometimes i just need a bit of reminding that i too am a part of it.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T21:11:00.001-08:00

every Thanksgiving, one of the staff, Cam, has the STINTers and sometimes a few of the staff over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner with his family. last year it was a grand affair with tons of home-cooked food and family time, and a chance for us to hang out with Cam's family and the staff in a real house with real chairs and a couch...(couches are a big deal here...definitely wish we had one). it was awesome and chill, and a great memory. this year they waited to have their Thanksgiving celebration until Saturday, November 26th, just in case the rest of my STINT team arrived in time. they didn't, and it was a huge blow to all of our hearts to finally give up and accept the reality that the rest of the STINTers would not be joining us this year, but they kept the date for Saturday.

so, because i had no Thursday Thanksgiving plans, i decided to attempt to make Thanksgiving dinner for some of my student friends who maybe never experienced Thanksgiving. i spent all day Wednesday searching for turkey, cranberry sauce and other Thanksgiving staples not native to Japan, and Wednesday night made 2 pumpkin pies and mashed potatoes. Thursday i made the rest- cranberry sauce, creamed corn, glazed carrots, rolls, gravy, and of course the turkey. it was my first time to ever make a turkey, and my wonderful mother (through Skype) talked me through the process (cleaning turkeys is gross, for the record...) and also helped me with the other recipes. i also prepared apples and a cheese/cracker plate for my guests to munch while heating up everything. i actually had no idea how many students would come until right before dinner, but i was praying for 10 and that's how many we had! such a blessing! they were mostly from random encounters on campus so most of them did not know each other (actually 2 girls brought friends so i got to meet 2 new girls as well!), but they all got along so well and had a really great time! i didn't burn down the apartment (or even burn the turkey!) even though i had to use my microwave oven (it has an oven setting but it's rather temperamental), we watched Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving, laughed a lot, ate a lot, it was awesome. and the best part- later that night i received a text from my friend Rebekka who had brought a friend Yuting- on her way home she was able to share her testimony with Yuting agreed to go to church with her! so awesome! it was a ton of work to cook for 10 people but so worth it!

Friday i had a much needed break from all things ministry/Cru. my friend brandon from USC lives in Aichi (a couple hours away) and was in Tokyo for Thanksgiving, so we spent all of Friday hanging out in Tokyo. we wandered around Harajuku and Shibuya, ate lunch at Wolfgang Puck (which he paid for-so sweet) spend the afternoon hanging out in Starbucks, then he cooked dinner for me (steak, veggies and oyakudon) and we watched a Ghibli movie (i highly recommend The Borrower Arietty- super cute). it was just what i needed- a chill, relaxing day with a friend who had no connection to ministry.

Saturday was Thanksgiving with Cam's family- since the other STINTers couldn't come, they invited a lot of the JCCC staff and some other friends. it was awesome hanging out with everyone, relaxing and eating great food. i was supposed to go to Odori Samurai practice that night but decided to skip it and fellowship, which is what i needed most- my balance of ministry responsibilities to fellowship was severely off, so it was good to just spend time with Christians who could pour into me. here are some pictures of both Thanksgivings: enjoy!

Thanksgiving decorations:
pumpkin patch:

Thanksgiving at our apartment! so thankful for these girls and that the turkey didn't burn! the remains of the turkey...for the record, carving a turkey is really hard!
Dinner at the Caughlan's - a bit bigger spread than mine...but they had twice as many people
with Cam's family! love them so much!

i hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving holiday and God reminds you every day of His amazing blessings! i'm so thankful for you!

Breaking Point

2011-11-25T08:04:00.000-08:00

well it finally happened. after 2 months of attempting to do solo campus ministry, 2 months of no direction and very little contact from any of my directors or staff from PSW, Japan Campus Crusade for Christ (JCCC) or even my team leaders, i broke down.

i think the for the past two months i've just been dealing with being alone, i've been holding on to the idea of "maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow" - in fact, i think everyone's been thinking that. my team, my leaders, all of us have just been waiting and hoping that my team would receive their CoEs in a day or two and then they'd be on a plane here. but it kept not happening. every day i was thinking "ok if we receive their CoEs today then they can get them this day and get their visas this day and fly out this day" and every day, it didn't happen. and it got draining. fridays became my most dreaded day, because it was the end of another week that my team's paperwork still had not arrived. i realized that while maybe my leaders had not been giving me direction because they thought since i was a 2nd year STINTer i'd be ok on my own, i really wasn't ok. i was not only alone, but i was starting to become lonely. my roommate Christina has been a huge blessing, but she is on Staff and therefore currently doing Japanese language school, so her focus and responsibilities are completely different. every day she is in language school, and in the evenings she is either spending time with her classmates or studying. the JCCC staff have their own campuses and focuses, and therefore i do not do campus ministry with them. i asked Cam, the staff who is kind of in charge of the STINTers, to let the staff know that i'd be interested in working with them since i'm the only STINTer, but no one really got back to me. so i've just been going to Waseda University by myself every day, with one day week working at ICU High School with 1 or 2 of the staff. and meeting with students solo for 2 months, and also being a member of 3 different clubs and pretty much having every night filled with club activities, you get pretty drained. i've been trying to plan things but i can't because i never know when the team's coming, so i have to always make last minute plans with students, which is a bit stressful. i also realized i'd been subconsciously overcompensating for the fact that i'm the only STINTer and i've been trying to do more and work harder to overcompensate for my team- not good or healthy. and i realized that basically everything i do is ministry- even church is ministry because there are non-christian students who come, so i have no place or people to just hang out and relax and take a break from ministry.

all of that, on top of feeling, to be honest, pretty abandoned by all of Cru, was just too much to handle. as i was writing an email to 2 of my directors in the States expressing my need for some sort of direction or contact, i just broke down sobbing for almost an hour. i finally composed myself enough to finish the email, but as i was talking to a friend from USC, i lost it again and cried to him for almost another hour. i felt pretty bad because the reason i'd called him was to ask about his birthday and i just broke down crying to him...after that i emailed my team and stressed the need for all of us to be in constant communication with each other- even if we're separated by distance, we're still a team, and they're still on STINT even if they're not in Japan. the next day we were able to have a team skype, which was helpful, but hopefully we'll be able to talk much more frequently, not just for me, but for all of us to have that fellowship and community of our team.

please continue to pray for my team, not only for their CoEs to come quickly, but that they would have discipline in the States, that God would show them His plans, and that we'd be able to have many times to talk with each other despite all the time differences.

Your Love Never Fails...

2011-11-20T08:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday i went to an all-day sports festival with about 150 students, mostly from Waseda University but also a few random ones as well. i was invited by my friend Yuki, who's club WHabitat (Waseda Habitat for Humanity) had parterned with 2 other clubs to put on the sports festival. i had hoped my team would be in Japan by then because it would have been a fantastic place for them to connect with students. but there's still no word on their Certificates of Eligibility, nor why it's taking so long...anyway. since my team couldn't go, i invited some of the people i know working for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Tokyo. one of the guys, ryan, replied and said he wanted to join. i couldn't have been more encouraged and thankful. at least, that's what i thought. God knew exactly what i needed yesterday. had a great time at the festival and met a ton of new students, but the best part of the day was after the festival. because ryan and i actually hadn't even seen each other since like february, we decided to go to Starbucks and catch up. during that time, God just totally spoke through him and pretty much said everything i needed to hear. for the past two months i've just been dealing with the fact that my team isn't here and i've had to do ministry by myself. i've done my best not to complain or whine too much, but i think maybe in downplaying it i've tricked myself into thinking i'm ok, because it's the only way i've been able to get through it. but God, speaking through ryan, told me it's ok to recognize that it's not ok. man, seriously, he said everything i needed to hear. that i've been faithful. that i've done the best that i can. that yes, maybe i've made a few mistakes, but God's bigger than them and He still used them for His glory. that He loves me and is with me. but also, ryan acknowledged that my being alone is not ok. he apologized on behalf of YWAM for not recognizing my need for fellowship, community and ministry partners earlier and helping me. he affirmed me in what i'd been doing and rebuked the idea that i'd not been doing enough. i wish i could explain everything. even little things like him buying me a water bottle, giving me a hug and telling me i'm pretty- those little things meant the world to me at that time. after Starbucks he invited me over to the YWAM house where most of the YWAM people were hanging out, just so i could experience some fellowship. i wish i could describe the feeling. sitting on a couch surrounded by people my age...it's the first time in 2 months that i've been around more than 2 people and it hasn't been ministry related. it was amazing.

on the way home i listened to Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc):

Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails...

the bridge repeats "You make all things work together for my good" over and over. that song was pretty much my STINT anthem last year, and it seems that this year it's even more applicable. i listened to the song on repeat all the way home, because each time the words struck me again and again how true they were. God reminded me that "i'm not alone in these open seas" and that He makes "all things work together for my good."

then this morning at church we sang the songs "Still I Will Praise You," "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and "Lord, I Give You My Heart." such perfect songs for my heart right now. reminders that i can still praise God even during difficult times, that His faithfulness is always great and He always provides. as the song goes, "morning by morning new mercies I see/ all i have needed Thy hand hath provided, great is They faithfulness Lord unto thee."

today's sermon was about what it means to follow Christ, and focused on taking up your cross daily and following Jesus. once again, such a perfectly timed reminder for me. God is so gracious with His reminders.

in other news, the USC Trojans beat Oregon today. IN Oregon. after a ridiculously long streak of never winning a game in Oregon, it seems as if USC football is back! this really doesn't have much to do with this blogpost other than it was a really wonderful way to begin my Sunday. so yeah this whole weekend has pretty much been a huge blessing from God. His love never fails.

EMERGENCY PRAYER FOR CoEs!

2011-11-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

It has been almost two months since I first arrived in Japan, and we still have no news about the rest of my team's paperwork needed to receive their Japan visas. In order to get their visas, they must submit paperwork to the Japanese government. It is processed and they are sent a Certificate of Eligibility (CoEs), which they then take to the Japanese consulate and receive their visa. This paperwork is essential for their visas, and usually takes no more than 3-4 weeks to be processed in Japan; however, due to the aftermath of the earthquake, new codes and new immigration laws (the Japanese government won't really explain more than this), this process is taking a much longer time than usual. They submitted their paperwork in August, so they should have been able to arrive in September. But it's the middle of November, and still nothing. That being said, we just received news that the Certificates of Eligibility for the Korea Campus Crusade STINTers were just denied. My team filled out their paperwork at the same time and in the same way, so there is a definite possibility that their paperwork could also be denied.

That does not mean they cannot come to Japan, but it would delay their arrival even more. We will hopefully find out by Tuesday about their CoEs. PLEASE take a little time to pray today that God would grant them their CoEs and visas this week, and that they would be able to come to Japan as soon as possible! Also please pray for all of us to grow in our faith and trust in God during this time, and we would not become discouraged. Also please pray that the Korea CCC STINTers would be able to arrive soon as well!

Thank you for all of you who have been riding this crazy roller coaster with me- your faith and prayers mean more to me and my team than I could ever express. While I definitely feel alone here in Japan without my team, I know that I have a powerful team of prayer warriors all over the world, lifting me up and supporting me, so thank you so so much!

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

"Give Thanks in All Circumstances..."

2011-11-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

so two weeks ago/last week, i did not have the best outlook on things.

i was annoyed and frustrated with God. i kept thinking, "come ON, God! it's the end of October! how is my team STILL not here? how do we STILL have no word about their CoEs? how? WHY???" i was feeling sorry for myself and my team. i was definitely focusing on my team and myself, not God.

then on November 1st, i helped out with ICU High School ministry. at ICU High School, we have a lunch gathering called Let's Talk once a week where we have snacks with students and talk about a certain topic that relates to their lives as well as God. this whole month we're focusing on Thanksgiving, and giving thanks for certain things in our lives. we talked about 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." ........man, was i convicted. here was a lesson that i was supposed to be teaching to high school students, and yet i had not been doing it at all. and why not? because i had been so focused on what i DIDN'T have, instead of what i did. because i had been more focused on what i wanted, what i thought was right. i was indignant that i didn't understand my circumstances, and of course since i didn't understand them, i thought they were not right. so not true! an ant doesn't understand a human because an ant's perception of a human is the centimeter he sees of our feet. so it is with our perspective of God and His plans. we can't understand them. they are too big. He is too big. it's a choice to trust even when we don't understand. that's why it's called faith. God has blessed me in so many amazing ways since i've been in Japan, and yet i have not been thanking him, i've just been complaining that my team isn't here with me.

for two days, i listened to the song Blessed Be Your Name on repeat. as i biked home, i looked up at the clear night sky and thanked God that even though i'm 1/2 way around the world, the stars are the same as home, that wherever i am in the world, i am home, because God is with me. i have been trying to look at the good in my life, and remember all the blessings God gives me even though i totally don't deserve it. yes i totally still miss my team, but i am going to choose to trust God in this.

God has also been blessing me like crazy through my yosakoi team, Odori Samurai. we've been having a ton of practices to get ready for Waseda University's huge festival, Waseda-sai, but it's been such a blessing to grow relationships with the Samurai and God's been allowing me to meet new people every practice who speak at least a bit of English! sometimes it's easy to feel insecure with the Samurai, mostly b/c of the language barrier, but even little things like one girl telling me that all the Samurai think i'm so kind, or people trying to speak English for me even though they are not confident, make me feel so good and blessed. i was talking to one girl about not doing a performance because i felt like other Samurai should do it instead, and she said "what are you talking about? you are Samurai. you're a part of us." .....man even just that simple statement was so encouraging.

this month of November, i'm going to give thanks to God in all circumstances, i am going to trust Him even when i don't understand, and rely not on myself, but on Him and His goodness.

but please keep praying for my team and that they will get here in the next couple weeks!!!!

GRACE

2011-10-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

i feel like i haven't been productive this week at all. yes it's only Tuesday afternoon. and yes i am STILL without a team and trying to just rebuild my ministry from last year by myself. but i hate feeling unproductive, and as i read newsletter after newsletter of other STINT friends and i see all the ministry things they are doing in their other countries, i start to judge myself. i start to think, "what am i doing?" and i start feeling guilty and lazy and soon enough Satan's amplified that into lies that i'm not a "good enough missionary" and i'm disappointing God. of course that's not true. it is by GRACE we have been saved (ephesians 2:8), not by works. God doesn't love me less because i watched the Rangers World Series game instead of watching an online sermon. (besides- God's a Rangers fan, right?) so why are we always beating ourselves up? i had an epiphany the other day and realized i try so hard to meet the end result, i focus so much on the the product, but then i'm just thinking of myself, of making myself better, not the relationship with God that leads to that end result. when i just think about my sanctification or improvement, i'm just thinking about myself and not just loving God. and if we just think about the end result, it's just about us, and we'll never truly understand God's love or our relationship with Him.

we talked about the prodigal son at church on Sunday. my pastor pointed out that the son had so many apologies prepared for his father, but his father wouldn't even let him say anything, because it didn't matter anymore. what mattered was that he came back. he came home. his father overwhelmed him with his love and wouldn't even let him apologize for his actions, but immediately called for celebration. and that's what God does for us. He doesn't need our apologies. His grace overwhelms everything we've done and everything we will do in the future.

this is a song we sang and reminded me what my relationship with God really is, entitled You Are My Father:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LplB6L3q3rY

the first verse says:
"It doesn't matter what i've done
Your love's for me
You wipe away my tears, You lift me when i fall
My life is saved by the mercy of Your grace..."

it's so true. and yet so easy to forget in this world of individualism and working hard and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and proving to people that you are worthy. ESPECIALLY in Japan. if you think it's bad in America, Japan is 10x worse. your identity is COMPLETELY based on your works. and if you fail at all, you've dishonored your family. that's why there are over 100 suicides every day in Japan, why there is one suicide every 15 minutes in this broken country. because they are working so hard to achieve impossible goals and if they fail, they feel that their lives are worthless. because of the grace of God, we are NOT failures. we are new creations even on our worst day! even when we've done nothing to deserve it. on Saturday i went to homeless church and gave Tanaka-san (a little old lady who's been homeless over 30 years) a little present from America- some almond hand lotion b/c her hands are always so dry, some chocolate, a little silver "Cross in my Pocket", a card that said "God loves you"...nothing too fancy. but she almost refused to take it, exclaiming, "But i have done nothing to deserve this!" i wanted to yell in exasperation, "that's why it's a PRESENT!" then she forced me to take some chocolate and nori (dried seaweed). she never allows me to give her anything unless i take something in return. it's such a Japanese culture thing to not accept anything for free, to not accept a present unless you can give one in return. it's so aggravating and exasperating. but it hit me- how many times do i do that to God? i beat myself up because i feel unworthy of His love and i try to earn it by doing good things. it's like me telling God his grace isn't good enough to cover my sins and i still have to prove myself.

"All that trying to prove you are enough has already been proven." - John Lynch

this is a video i've posted before, but i watched it again today and, like every time i watch it, it made me cry. if you've got 30 minutes to spare, watch it. it changes your whole perspective of what grace and freedom is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7azfoonNqpc

may the Lord bless you and overwhelm you with His grace and freedom every day!

PS CoE update: still no CoEs. please please pray God provides them this week so my team can finally get here! but good news- my roommate Christina finally got her cast off her arm, so she's got two arms again! praise God for healing! and selfishly, i'm excited that i no longer have to do all the cleaning and laundry etc. by myself...

3 Weeks Later...

2011-10-17T05:04:00.000-07:00

3 weeks ago i left America to begin my 2nd year of STINT. unfortunately, the rest of my STINT team did not leave with me, and thus i began my adventure alone. i thought...well i guess i didn't know what i thought, but i definitely did not think that 3 weeks later i would still be without a STINT team.

and yet that is the case. 3 weeks later, and no word about my team's Certificates of Eligibility needed to get their visas. i'm in Japan for my STINT year, but it doesn't feel like my STINT year has really begun yet because my team isn't with me. it's lonely, to be honest. and it's so different than how i expected my 2nd year to begin. of course, there are very few times in my life when things go exactly the way i think they will. God always reminds me that His plans are better than mine. and yet, during times such as this, it's so hard to understand His plans. i never realized how difficult STINT would be without a team. yes, i have a wonderful roommate (such a blessing that she is here with me) but she's joining JCCC Staff- she's got her own priorities, mainly language school right now. she doesn't go to campus with me. when i go to campus, i'm alone. it's not fun. i've pretty much just been reconnecting w/ students from last year, going to Paddy meetings and Samurai practices, but still, going to campus by yourself all the time is not easy.

i know i sound kind of whiney...i'm so blessed that i actually get to be in Japan. i know the rest of my team is way more frustrated than i am. at least i'm here. i'm able to do ministry in Tokyo. i should be thankful. and i am. i just wish the other members of my team were here as well.

this past week i've been really homesick, which i think may partially be because i'm by myself here. last year i really didn't get homesick until Christmas. but i've been so much more homesick this year. i'm not really a fan. i was sick all last week too so that really didn't help- being sick in a foreign country always makes you appreciate home a lot more.

but in all this i'm reminded that we cannot store up treasures here anyway, that this earth is not our true home, and that wherever i am, God is with me. there's an Owl City song that has been some comfort here. i imagine God singing it to me, and He says:

"Circle me and the needle
Moves gracefully back and forth
If my heart was a compass, you'd be north
Risk it all 'cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house, you'd be home..."

here's the song if you're interested in listening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXvtuDxEN5M

please please keep praying my team's CoEs will arrive this week and they'll be able to get their visas with miraculous speed and they can get to Tokyo by next week!

What Could Have Been...

2011-10-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

this post isn't really about Japan. but i guess Japan was an instigator.

some of you know, some of you don't, but i used to be a competitive gymnast. i started gymnastics when i was about 2 1/2 years old, after teaching myself how to do a forward roll while watching the World Championships on TV. after that, i lived and breathed gymnastics. a tape of the World Championships with my idol Kim Zmeskal was labeled "Kimi's Favorite Gymnastics Tape." i got asked to join my first team when i was 4 years old. when i was 5, i moved to World Olympic Gymnastics Academy (WOGA) where i spent the next 6 years of my life working my butt off with the dream of an Olympic medal. i had 2 mats, a beam, a chin up bar and a trampoline in my room. gymnastics was my identity. i was training Level 9, and in another few years those Olympic dreams might have come true. but i quit. because all the other girls on my team started homeschooling and i didn't want to. i didn't want to completely give up my life for Olympic dreams. because what if they stayed just that- dreams? i didn't want to take the risk.

last night i went to the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium and saw the US Women's Gymnastics team win the team final at the World Championships. it was so exciting, but i felt almost detached from it all. maybe because deep down i wanted so badly for it to be me on that podium. i looked at those girls, 6-7 years younger than me, and i saw a dream i'd never get. i googled USA Gymnastics tonight and one of the first images to come up was an iconic poster of Kim Zmeskal in a signature pose- a poster i had on my wall for years as a child, a poster i looked at every day and thought "someday, that's going to be me." and it made me look back and wonder what might have happened if i hadn't quit. would i have been on that 2004 or 2008 Olympic team. the past 2 Olympic All-Around gold medalists (Carly Patterson and Nastia Liukin) were from my old gym, WOGA. could i have been with them?

it's hard for me to say i regret quitting. because i quit gymnastics, i was able to reclaim my childhood and lead a relatively normal teenage life, i fell in love with dance and theatre, i had friends outside of gymnastics and enjoyed normal middle school and high school activities. i was able to go to USC and discover who i really am and rediscover a relationship with Jesus. i'm in Japan right now because of USC Cru. i wouldn't have had any of those experiences if i'd stayed in gymnastics. and i was still able to do high school gymnastics and became the first girl from my school to ever make the Texas National Team and compete at Nationals. i ended my career on a good note. making the National Team was one of the best moments of my life. but still... it's hard not to wonder, especially when i watch a huge gymnastics competition.

i seem to have this thing where because i enjoy many different things, i never really commit to one thing. i used to think that it made me unique, but i'm not sure if it's actually good. because i think it gives me an excuse to never really take a chance. never really give it my all. i could have been a great gymnast. but i quit. and watching Glee tonight, i realized i never really committed to theatre or dancing either. i didn't really quit those either, but i never put in as much effort as i could because i was doing 20 other different things. and now i'm in Japan, and i love it, and i know God has called me here, but it's hard not to see my friends in LA or New York living their dreams and not wish i was there too. but at the same time, i'm a bit afraid that if i was, would i be good enough?

isn't that what we're always wondering? am i good enough? what if i'm NOT good enough? thankfully we have a God whom we don't have to compete for, we don't have to try for, because He loves us already. He loves us even when we fall, when we fail, when we screw up. and that alone should make us good enough.

TOKYO STINT: TAKE 2

2011-10-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

one week ago i left for Japan for my second year of STINT (Short-Term International Intern) with Campus Crusade for Christ. yesterday i realized that it was my one year anniversary of when i arrived in Tokyo last year. it was weird. and cool. and crazy. and once again, just weird that it's been a year.

when i arrived at my apartment, i was greeted by Jessica, an International Campus Staff (ICS) who lives 2 doors down from me, and my new roommate Christina, who is also an ICS. right before i arrived in Tokyo, Christina broke one arm and sprained the other in a bike accident so she had one arm in a sling when i arrived. we've gotten very close this past week because i've had to help her a lot but her right arm (the sprained one) has gotten so much stronger and she can do a lot more by herself now. Wednesday and Thursday i spent getting paperwork in order to renew my visa, and Friday i submitted all my paperwork.

these past few days i've been feeling the impact of the responsibility of being the only Japan re-stinter. i never really realized how much i relied on the re-stinters last year, to answer questions, to take me places, etc. now i'm the one who has to know where to go, like our other Japan CCC office or the Immigration Office. i've been learning to get to as many places as i can so i can show my team once they arrive. one exciting new place Christina took me to- a soft cream shop in Mitaka! the owner is sooo nice and i got pumpkin soft cream. sounds weird but it was delicious!
i've also been slowly easing back into ministry- Friday night i went to Paddy (Waseda English Club) for the first time and it was such a joy to see old friends and meet new ones! it was a bit bittersweet though- i definitely missed my former teammate Ariel- he was the one who first introduced me to Paddy and brought me up as his Paddy protege. and now he's gone and i'm the one to pass the torch to the new stinters. it's weird. i feel old. and once again, responsible.

Saturday i did some laundry and cleaning and spent several hours sorting through and translating the 180 emails i had on my phone from Odori Samurai, my traditional Japanese dance group- they have a mailing list that they use to send emails to all 150 members, and while many of the emails were about practices or festivals i missed while i was in America, there were about 50 that i had to struggle to translate or have someone else translate for me so i could see if they were important. it was rather tedious to say the least, or as we say in Japan, "mendokusai"(or めんどくさい). missing 3 months of practice and festivals has left me very behind. i'm planning on going to practice at least 3 times this week to try and get caught up a bit. they've learned some new dances that i'm not sure if i'll be able to learn, but i'm hopeful. they are about to transition into new leaders for the year, and the new president/leader is my friend Rock, who speaks English relatively well. i sent him an email saying i was back in Tokyo, and he asked me to call him, so i did, and i realized that he probably hasn't spoken english since i left Japan. he sounded a bit nervous on the phone. but i really appreciated his effort. it is going to be a challenge to catch up though, which makes me nervous since i always feel a bit behind already since i normally don't understand what's going on during practices. i'm going to go to practice tonight for the first time and not gonna lie, i'm nervous. i hope they're excited that i'm back...it's so easy to believe the lies Satan puts in my head that i'm annoying or am a burden to them. i'm excited to see them though- they are such wonderful crazy Japanese people.

Sunday i went back my church, New Hope, and it was such a blessing to see everyone and worship together. the hula praise team performed too which is always a treat-
it's such a blessing that even though i'm halfway around the world, i can still worship God with other brothers and sisters. please please please keep praying that my new team of brothers and sisters can come to Japan by the end of this week! still no word on their CoEs...and 4 of them are still raising support. if you would like to support them, please go to http://give.ccci.org and search either Amanda Sever, Christine Harada, Amy Ledin or Nikki Maldonado. (as of now, Amanda and Christine need the most support)

thank you for your interest in God's work in Japan! God bless!

D-DAY

2011-09-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official.

Friday night I received word from my coordinator that after a long wait, 3 weeks past our original departure date, I am finally returning to Tokyo to begin my STINT Year #2 this Monday, September 26th, aka tomorrow morning. I depart from Dallas/Fort Worth at 9:50 am and arrive in Tokyo approximately 3:15 pm on Tuesday.

Unfortunately, the rest of my team has still had no word regarding their paperwork needed to get their visas (called Certificates of Eligibility), and therefore will be unable to travel with me. It seems unlikely that they will be able to leave before October 1st, and so their support-raising deadline has been pushed back to Thursday. Please continue to pray both for their remaining funds and their Certificates of Eligibility to come in as soon as possible so that they may join me quickly and we can begin our STINT year as a team. Please especially pray for my teammate Amanda Sever, who still needs to raise about $15,000. If you would like to support her financially, you can go to her giving page here: https://give.ccci.org/give/View/0646423.

Once I secure my own visa renewal in Japan and get settled in, I will begin to rebuild connections with students I met this past year and start to rebuild a foundation my team can grow on this year. Hopefully by then my team will have joined me and we can begin ministry together.

This morning at church we sang my favorite song, entitled "Your Love Never Fails." There is a line that says "You make all things work together for my good," based on Romans 8:28. It reminded me that even though my STINT year has not started out as I had planned, God has a plan and purpose in it.

It doesn't feel like I'm leaving tomorrow though. It feels like a normal Sunday evening. I'm sitting on the couch with my grampa watching football highlights. The only differences seem to be that my dad is cooking hamburgers and onion rings in my honor and I can no longer find my bed underneath the mountains of things that should be packed away in my suitcase already. I've made progress though- the mountain used to be in a pile on my floor and big round chair, now it's semi-organized and transferred to my bed. That's progress, right? ........we'll see if I end up sleeping tonight. The one nice thing about a 12 hour flight is that I can sleep a lot. And I'll be flying by myself, so unless my future husband ends up sitting next to me, I don't have any obligation to talk to anyone and can get lots of sleep.

AHHHHHHHHHH I LEAVE TOMORROW! Now it's slowly starting to hit me....after all this anticipation and waiting, it's finally happening, but my brain hasn't processed it yet. Hopefully once I get there it will sink in once I realize no one is speaking English.

Please be praying for my team, for a safe flight and for an easy transition back to Japanese life! God bless!

DOWN TO THE WIRE

2011-09-18T16:51:00.000-07:00

SO
Here's the situation.

1. Our deadline for support is THIS TUESDAY, September 20th. In 3 days, my entire team MUST be at 100%. FIVE of my teammates are still struggling to finish raising their support. Please prayerfully consider investing in God's work in Japan and financially supporting us. Or if there is anyone you know who might be interested in giving, please let me know as soon as possible. All donations are tax-deductible. The easiest way to give is to go to Campus Crusade's giving website: You can either give to me directly at https://give.ccci.org/give/View/0635409 and I will transfer the funds to the person who is most in need, or you can go to http://give.ccci.org and search either Nicole Maldonado, Amy Ledin, Amanda Sever, Christine Harada or Albert Li. If you have any questions please email or call me!

2. It seems unlikely that my team would be able to get their visas by September 26th. The earliest they could receive their Certificates of Eligibility would be Thursday or Friday; however, many of the Japanese consulates will be closed Friday, so they would have to get their visas Monday the 26th. As far as i know, our coordinators are changing our flights to Tuesday, September 27th in the hope that the rest of my team can get their visas by then. I MUST leave by the 27th to renew my visa in Japan. Please be praying that God would work a miracle and that my team and I can all go to Japan together!

3. Due to the falling exchange rate (76 yen to the dollar) Campus Crusade for Christ has actually increased our support goals by about $2,000 in order to prevent us from running out of money this year. This is especially hard on my teammates who are still raising support. Once again, please consider investing in God's work in Japan this year and helping them out.

Even if you cannot support my team financially, please pray for their visas to be expedited and that God would give us patience and protect all of us from discouragement during these next few days. We feel like Satan is doing everything he can to prevent us from getting to Japan, but we also feel like it's because God has crazy awesome things in store for us this year. Please pray for our protection and for God's provision!

Thank you so much for your commitment to prayer- prayer is so powerful and it is your prayers and support that make all we do in Japan possible! You are the backbone of our ministry, and we are so blessed by your prayers and support!

Anniversaries of Tragedies

2011-09-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

i meant to write this on September 11th. but that didn't happen. but i thought i should write anyway.

September 11, 2011. 10 years ago, terrorists thought they could destroy a nation with hate. instead it was unified in love. 6 months ago, a tsunami threatened to destroy another nation with despair. Instead it too was unified. let us never forget these 2 tragedies, never forget the love that binds us together, and the hope that keeps us alive.

it's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since 9/11. it's harder to believe that it's been 6 months since the Tohoku Earthquake and tsunami. seems like both happened yesterday. i'll never forget where i was when both happened. i'll never forget the feeling of my bed shaking just as i lay down to take a nap. last night my dog was lying on my bed and panting, making my bed shake a bit. i still automatically tensed up, even though i knew it was my dog causing the shaking.

but even though it's been such a long time, the pain of those who suffered from both tragedies never really goes away. Japan looks like it's rebuilding, that it's recovering, but it's going to take many, many years for Japan to recover. and even longer for the Japanese people.

even though the news is no longer reporting the tragedy, never forget. never forget to pray for this country that is in such dire need of hope, of love, of a Savior.

i compiled footage taken when we went to do relief work in Tohoku- please feel free to share with others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71jy-kTVzWQ

SPEED FUN, or Briefing Take 2

2011-08-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

so i feel like i have a ton to catch up on- at the same time, if you look at the big picture not a ton has happened. i've been in the states about 2 months, and most of that time has been re-raising support. but God has been working in crazy ways in these past 2 months.

i arrived back in the states assuming i'd have at least 2 months to re-raise my support. CCC raised our support goal to $53,000 for this next year due to the abominable exchange rate, so i knew i'd have my work cut out for me. then on August 1st, i received an email from CCC saying that because i had not met 100% of my goal, i needed to immediately submit a deadline extension request application.

...........................wait.
.............................................what?????

i was at 37% when i received this email. a momentary feeling of panic welled up inside me, but i took a deep breath, filled out the deadline extension request, emailed it back to our coordinator, and then sent an email out to all my supporters with the subject line: EMERGENCY!!!!!!! PLEASE READ!!!! (thank you to all of you who responded to that, by the way- y'all are amazing). i received a 6 day extension, and while i later found out that the August 1st deadline was mostly for first-years so they could get their insurance by September 1st, i did still try and raise as much support as i could- in fact, God provided me with 50% of my support in just those 6 days! i could hardly believe it- God is so good, and has proven over and over how much bigger He is than financial need, and yet for some reason i am always surprised when He comes through like that! why is it so crazy that God would provide that much money in such a short time? our God can do ANYTHING. He's bigger than money, He's bigger than deadlines, and i know that, but i'm still blown away by His grace and goodness every time He provides.

God has since then actually provided me with extra support so that i've been able to help out other teammates who are struggling to finish raising. if you have promised to support me and have not yet done so, i ask that you would consider supporting one of my teammates- you can either still give to my account (go to http://give.ccci.org and search Kimiyo Brown) and i will transfer it to theirs, or i can give you the account number of the teammate who needs it the most.

August 13th-19th i joined over 400 other STINTers for STINT Briefing 2011 in Chicago. it was a bit surreal at first to be honest, mostly because it was in the same location, i was going back to Tokyo, and yet i was with an entirely new team. it was weird. it was strange to be a 2nd year, a re-STINTer. i felt like it was senior year. i felt like the big kid. on my team last year, i was the second youngest (by a month), and to be honest probably acted like it. i asked a million questions every day and followed the re-STINTers around. but this year, it's completely different. i have to be the one who knows what's going on. i have to be the one who knows how to do things and where things are. while there's one other re-STINTer on my team, she STINTed in East Asia last year, and so i'm the only Japan re-STINTer. it's a very different role to be in. i do love my new team though and i'm so excited to work with them this year. here they are:
(from left)
Kylan Schroeder: our last minute recruit when we needed another guy- he was on my Tokyo Summer Project in 2009
Nikki Maldonado: another theater major from Texas who loves to dance. we're basically the same person. it's kind of awesome.
Amy Ledin: she was also on my 2009 Tokyo Summer Project and just graduated from ASU
Amanda Sever: also just graduated from ASU- she's the only one on our team who's never been to Japan but i'm so encouraged by her willingness to serve in a country she's never been to
Katie Dianrich: she actually spent her first 12 years of life in Tokyo while her parents were on staff with Campus Crusade, so it's pretty sweet to have a Tokyo native on our team
Sarah Eudaly: our new girl team leader. last year she stinted in East Asia, so she and i are the 2 re-stinters on the team
Christine Harada: Japanese-American; she just graduated from with an architecture degree from UCSB
Albert Li: our new guy team leader. he just graduated with an engineering degree from UCSB

*** in this picture is also Sam Lee, a KCCC Stinter who will be going to Osaka this year. we fought to get him on our team but God wants him in Osaka. we'll get to see him a few times this year though! ***

right now we're all back in our respective hometowns. we're all still raising support and preparing for Japan, but i'm still not sure when i'll be able to leave. we were supposed to leave September 4th, but at briefing we found out that my team's Certificates of Eligibility weren't turned in until August 15th. it felt very reminiscent of last year. the situation now is that the rest of my team must wait for their Certificates of Eligibility to be processed by the Japanese government before they can get their visas, the exact same position Henry, Michelle and i were in last year. apparently our coordinator has plane tickets for September 26th on hold....i'm desperately hoping and praying we can leave earlier though. there's a slight possibility that i could be allowed to leave earlier if one of the new International Campus Staff (ICS), a girl named Christina Eads, finishes raising her support and leaves in the middle of September. she will actually probably be one of my new apartment-mates.

i know this is all in God's timing, but it IS a bit frustrating to not know when i'm leaving AGAIN, and that there's the possibility of not even being able to go to Japan with my team AGAIN. even though i have my visa and my support, our directors don't want me to leave by myself, which i understand. but i am also anxious to get back to Japan as quickly as possible. there are several students who are leaving to study abroad in the middle of September, so i was so excited to be back by September 4th because i'd be able to see them before they left. i had prayed for humility the day we found out about the delays....learning we would not be leaving when we expected definitely humbled me and reminded me that i can't control anything (especially on STINT). seems to be one of those lessons i need to learn over and over. but i also know that God's got us. that God is bigger than visas, bigger than support raising, and bigger than my own little ministry. He blew our expectations out of the water this year, and i know that He has crazy plans for Japan this year. and it will be in His timing. not mine.

EMERGENCY!!!!

2011-08-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

So when I returned to the States 5 weeks ago, I assumed that I would have until September 1st to re-raise all my support in order to return to Japan as a STINTer September 4th.

Apparently, this was not the case. Apparently, I was supposed to have raised all 100% of my support ($53,000) by August 1st, that is, YESTERDAY.

I received an email a couple hours ago saying that because I was not yet at 100%, I needed to immediately fill out a deadline extension request in the hope that Campus Crusade for Christ will give me extra time to raise my support.

I CURRENTLY ONLY AT 37%, AND STILL NEED $33,000 IN ORDER TO RETURN TO JAPAN.
And unfortunately, I need this IMMEDIATELY.

If you are considering supporting me financially this year, or you have promised to give but have not yet pledged a specific amount, please let me know AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I do NOT have to have this money in hand immediately; however, i DO need it to be pledged. As long as I have the amount pledged, whether it is through a monthly gift or a one-time gift, I will still be allowed to return to Japan.

Tonight I received a message from Yusuke, one of the Japanese students who became a Christian just a couple months ago- he said, "You guys changed my life!! We need stinters!!!" It is for students like Yusuke that I so dearly wish to return to Japan and continue God's work there. The Japanese are desperately crying out for hope and love right now- please consider investing in their eternal salvation.

The easiest way to support God's work in Japan is to go to Campus Crusade's giving website- https://give.ccci.org/give/View/0635409 This link will take you directly to my giving page, where you have the option to support me through a monthly donation or a one-time gift.

I also desperately need prayer right now, that God would provide the $33,000 and that Campus Crusade would give me an extension. I know I am called to return to Japan, and I know that God will provide.

If you have any questions, would like to hear more about my ministry in Japan, or know of anyone who would also be interested in my ministry, please feel free to call me (214.282.3988) or email me anytime at kimiyo.brown@gmail.com

God bless you all,
Kimi Brown

RE-ENTRY...

2011-06-30T14:49:00.000-07:00

"well...i'm back."

that's the last line in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, after the hobbits have traveled all over Middle Earth, been chased by everything under the sun, survived numerous battles, and finally return home.

granted, that's a bit of an overdramatized comparison, but in some ways it does seem similar. they are so changed from who they were before they left home. they know they can never go back to who they were. they know things will never be exactly the same, even if it looks like it.

i arrived back in America around 11:00 am, Saturday, June 25th. the first thing that weirded me out was that people spoke english. even in a city like Tokyo, we're not used to hearing it. the second thing was the diversity of people- everyone wasn't asian! it was so weird! once again, even in a city like Tokyo, the foreigners still really stick out. other than that, the transition wasn't too difficult to be honest. this was possibly mostly due to the fact that i hadn't really slept in like 3 days. i stayed awake all friday and didn't go to bed friday night, was up all day saturday in japan, then awake all day AGAIN since we gained 17 hours coming back to LA...it was a very long day. and i was really out of it. my friend sammy picked me up from the airport and took me to Alpha Delta Chi (ADX), my old sorority house (where i was staying)- we then went to the grocery store where he literally had to tell me what to buy because i was so out of it and disoriented that i couldn't make decisions very well. i went to bed around 5 pm that day and slept until 3 am, then slept again until 7 am. woke up and went to church at my old church Reality LA. ran into a friend (and monthly supporter)- it was totally a divine meeting because she was leaving for South Africa the next day and so that was the only day i could see her. i had my first meal in the States, In'n'Out hamburger, fries and a milkshake (it was so weird ordering food in ENGLISH!) and we caught up on life and she committed to continue supporting me next year (PRAISE GOD!). that afternoon i went to the beach with my friend Tayler- i was going to sit and talk to God and process re-entering/ reverse culture shock, but then our friend Khalia met up with us and we all just talked for hours (which was great) and then went to dinner. afterward i hung out with a few old friends and watched a movie called Beware of Christians(www.bewareofchristians.com)- 2 of my friends actually made it/are in it. it's pretty legit. Monday morning i was going to wake up early, get some support raising things done, then meet with a friend and her husband...definitely woke up around 3 pm. thanks, jetlag. that afternoon i got some Yogurtland with my friend jonathan, then that evening went to dinner over at my friend (and monthly supporter) Ben's house. got to see a lot of people for the first time, met some new people, had some great food. afterward we sang some worship songs...it was so sweet just to hang out with old friends and praise God. Tuesday my friend sean and i hung out. he wasn't able to come celebrate my birthday on Wednesday, so he made Tuesday a day of birthday celebration- i opened the door and there he was leaning against his car with a huge bouquet of flowers and a USC Hello Kitty tshirt (seriously), then he took me to lunch, we walked around campus then he treated me to Starbucks. it was awesome just to hang out with him again- he was one of my very first friends at USC freshman year and we're still close to this day. it's interesting- we were walking around campus like old times and it felt like nothing had changed, and yet at the same time there was a huge new building and other changes to campus and we had to realize that a year had gone by, we were graduated, and so much really had changed. sorry i just used "changes/changed" 3 times in one sentence... blame my poor writing on the jetlag. anyway, afterward i took a little nap because i was exhausted (speaking of jetlag...) then met up with 2 of my old friends/coworkers- eric and jon. it was fun just spending quality time with them and catching up. i love friendships where you can go to another country, not really keep in touch and then come back and resume the friendship where you left off....

there are definitely friendships that have died since i was in Japan though. and it's sad. i didn't make as much of an effort as i could have, but the same time, they made little or no effort. and i couldn't sustain it. it hurts, but i know that's life. i'm a very relational person though- quality time is one of my love languages, and i will do everything in my power to keep in touch with people. but at some point you've got to realize that some relationships just don't last. and i've got to be ok with it. because that's life. that's growing up. that's graduating college and moving to a foreign country that is 17 hours ahead of the rest of the world...as i look back, i think perhaps one of the reasons God called me to Japan (other than the 99.3% of non-Christians...) is to pull me away from the comfort of college friends/relationships. to make me realize that i had put way to much priority on relationships with people, and it was overshadowing the importance i put on my relationship with God. at USC i could rely on my small group, i could rely on my sorority, i could rely on my church and Campus Crusade. in Japan i was stripped of all that, and forced to remember what relationship matters the most, and what relationship took top priority over all- my relationship with my Creator.

they gave us a book on ReEntry before we left Japan. i have yet to read it, as it's currently in my friend Tayler's car since i left it there on Sunday...i need to read it though. i feel like i adapt to things very easily, and i've kind of just coasted through this whole readjustment process. i'm worried it's going to hit me really hard soon. yeah things are weird, but they seem so similar to right after i graduated it almost feels like this past year didn't even happen. i miss my old team and my students so much, but it just hasn't quite registered yet. most of the students i'll see again, but i may not see the majority of my team again for a long, long time. it's a sobering thought. and that's when i remember this past year...and when my brain decides it doesn't want to process and why not focus on something else for now? think about that later. sigh.....maybe i haven't adjusted as quickly as i thought....

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow...

2011-06-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

the last week in Tokyo was, to say the least, crazy. the day after we arrived back from debriefing was my last Sunday, so a few of our students took the girl STINTers out to lunch. it was really fun to hang out with them one more time. after lunch we went to New Hope for church, and took lots of pictures since everyone besides me was leaving for good. it was sad but at the same time, i'm coming back so it was exciting to tell people that. after church myself, mike and a few students went to Burger King for a snack, then i went to my last Holy Spirit practice for 3 months.

Monday i started cleaning and packing a bit, then that evening 5 girl students from Waseda took me out for a farewell hangout- i have grown very close with these girls and unfortunately won't see them again until next June because they are all studying abroad in the fall, so it was sweet to be able to hang out with them one more time. we did karaoke for 3 hours (while eating dinner) and then took "perikura" (picture stickers). this is perikura
we're rather silly sometimes
all my girls- from left: miko, chibo, manami, yuuri and natalie (she's 1/2 Japanese)

Tuesday i had a pretty full day, most of which was spent at Waseda University. that morning i spent some time organizing and cleaning, then i went and played soccer one last time with my friends from Paddy (i scored 3 goals! though one was because my teammates basically kept the ball for me til i could run up and kick it lol... definitely need to practice this summer...) Paddy Football Club
after soccer i went to Paddy's English club meeting, then met up with my friend Saori for coffee. our mutual friend Jenna joined us and we got to have great discussion about love, guys, marriage and our future goals. i've shared the Gospel with both of them before so it was a good time of casual hangout in which i was able to incorporate my testimony and go deeper about God's love.

Wednesday morning i woke up early to finish cleaning- 2 of the JCCC staff came over to check out our rooms and make sure they were clean. thankfully i'm staying in my room next year (i had a choice to switch but it was so much easier just to stay in my apartment...and i'm lazy) so i didn't have too much to pack up. after our inspection, i went to Waseda University to have one last hang out time with my pseudo-disciple Claudine. she is studying abroad in the fall so i won't see her again until at least next July. after meeting with her, i went to my last Odori Samurai practice. we started learning a new dance which i have definitely already forgotten, but it was still fun. at the end of practice, we always get in a huge huddle and do this Samurai chant thing- we were all gathered together and my leader calls me into the center and tells everyone i'm leaving but coming back in September and everyone said "awww we'll miss you" (in Japanese) and then they all sang Happy Birthday to me since my birthday was the next week and it was really sweet and i felt very loved. then afterward when i got to the train station about 20 of the freshmen were gathered and had a birthday cake for me and sang again! i was so surprised! and it was really the confirmation i needed that i was actually an influential part of Samurai, that i could leave for 3 months and people wouldn't forget me and that i could come back and continue the relationships i had begun to establish these past 2 months.

Thursday morning we all went to Waseda University for one last Unity prayer time with KGK and YWAM- it was really sweet to be able to hear more about each others' ministries and pray for one another. i can't wait to continue Unity in the fall! after that i had lunch with my friend Suzuka from Samurai. i got to share a lot about Student Impact with her and talk about Christianity because she grew up in a Catholic school. she's interested in helping poor and homeless people so i invited her to homeless church on Saturday and she was really excited about it, which of course made me excited. after lunch my whole STINT team celebrated my unbirthday- since my birthday is June 29th i would be in the States by then and wouldn't be able to celebrate with the other STINTers so we designated June 23rd as my unbirthday celebration day (ironically i would be turning 23). we went to the Ghibli Museum (), then to Sweets Paradise, an all you can eat in 70 minutes sweets restaurant, then took team perikura (it was difficult with all 10 of us but finally worked!) then we went back to Mitaka and watched Star Wars and they all gave me presents. it was so sweet and such a great way to celebrate with some of my favorite people.

Friday i cleaned and packed a lot, then went to my last Paddy meeting. i was a discussion leader, and my topic was "Are you truly satisfied with your life? If so, why? If not, what would you need in your life to be satisfied?" i got some pretty awesome discussion out of it too. some people said they needed a job or a girlfriend to be satisfied, some said they had friends and school so they were satisfied, so i had them dig deeper and asked if they could still be satisfied if they didn't have money or friends or family. it led to me being able to share a lot about how God satisfies completely, which made me happy. afterward the leader announced that it was my last Paddy for awhile so we were all going to dinner in my honor which was really sweet and made me feel loved. it was awesome to hang out with everyone one last time. after dinner, i met up with the other STINTers at our favorite ramen shop, then went home to finish packing and write notes for everyone. stayed up all night, then at 5:45 am went to see Henry off- his bus to the airport was at 6:15 am so we all stayed awake to say goodbye. it felt surreal. my brain couldn't even process that we were leaving. after saying goodbye to Henry, Mike and i went to the homeless church in the park and met up with Yusuke and my friend Suzuka. it was great to go back- i haven't been able to go for 3 weeks so i was excited to go one more time before i left. afterward, said goodbye to Suzuka and Yusuke, went home, gathered up my things and was off! once again all the other STINTers and some of the staff came to say goodbye to Michelle and me...it felt even more surreal that it was happening to me. the plane ride felt like a dream (possibly because i hadn't slept in so long) but anyway, i'll write more about that in my next post. for now, know that i am back safely in America!

DEBRIEFED

2011-06-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

last week we had our debrief as Tokyo STINT Team 2010-2011. we went to Nikko, a little place in the mountains a couple hours away from Tokyo. we were there Wednesday - Saturday, and it was really just a time of relaxation, reflection and team meetings where we could come together one last time for things like celebrating what God's done this year, clear up anything still weighing on peoples' hearts, and encouraging each other in how we've blessed the team.

the first 2 days i was really sick so that was tough but we weren't too busy so i got some time to rest. it was really weird being there though. it was fun, but it was 3 days of wrapping up a crazy year. we all changed so much, grew so much, learned so much, experienced so much...this year has seriously been the most incredible, life-changing, challenging, heart-breaking, joyful year of my life. how do you wrap that up in 3 days? how do you say everything you want to say to your teammates in just one meeting? how do you process every blessing the Lord has provided us in just one night? impossible. or as the Japanese say, "muri muri muri."

we wrote a letter to our future selves with some things we want to remember. there's a lot i want to grow in next year, especially prayer, spending more time reading the Bible, being more intentional loving my teammates, and following up better with students. there are also specific things i want to do next year that i didn't get to do this year, such as prayer walking in Asakusa (famous for shrines and temples), visiting Hiroshima, and establishing a homeless ministry in a park near Waseda University. it was definitely weird to really start thinking about next year though. debriefing was a big transition period for me as i started to wrap up relationships with this team and starting thinking about next year's team. next year's team is going to be SO different. obviously there will be different people, but this year we had 5 guys and 5 girls, and 3 were from KCCC. next year we have no KCCC, and there are 7 girls and 2 guys. the dynamic will just be completely different. i'm really excited about my team next year though- there's 2 people who were on my summer project, another theatre major from Texas (crazy, yeah?) a girl who grew up in Tokyo, and almost all of them have been on summer projects in Japan so they are at least a bit familiar with things. but yeah. i feel like i'm in limbo right now as i try and cherish these last moments with my current team and begin to establish relationships with my new team over email and facebook. i'll introduce them later. for now, here are some pictures from debriefing:

sticky notes with all the things God's done this year (there were a lot more but wouldn't fit in the picture) all of us in front of the stickies -- we stayed at a traditional Japanese inn (called a ryokan) and got to wear yukatas all the time! it was awesome! Kegon no Taki Waterfall in Nikko with one of our debriefing coaches, Tommy in front of the Toshogu Shrine monkeys- they are the "Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil, See no Evil" monkeys all of us plus Cayla and Tommy, our debrief coaches, after our last dinner i love this team so much! one last team picture with our STINT tshirts

WHIRLWIND

2011-06-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday night i returned from 3 days of performing with my traditional Japanese dance team Odori Samurai at Sapporo's Annual Yosakoi Festival in Hokkaido. the word that best describes the weekend: whirlwind.

i was really nervous about the weekend, if you read my last blog post. like, really nervous. but God totally blessed the time and it's one of the best experiences i've had in Japan all year. even though i didn't really get to share the full Gospel, i built a ton of new friendships and i'm so excited for next year. God also made sure that in every formation we performed in, there was someone who spoke English right next to me. so crazy. Friday morning woke up late and made a mad dash for the airport, arriving just in time (praise God!) second praise- before we'd even gotten on the plane one of the leaders asked me what my John 3:16 bracelet meant- so i pulled out my Japanese Bible and showed him and got to explain it! SO AWESOME! the flight was about 1 1/2 hours to Hokkaido (by the way, Japanese domestic flight security takes literally 1 minute...i love Japan.) we quickly went to our hotel and changed into our costumes. my two roommates' nicknames were Chyoya and Pusapusa (i have no idea what these names mean in Japanese). i thought they couldn't really speak English but turned out that they spoke better than i expected so one night i ended up being able to share a good deal of my testimony with Chyoya and share about how God's love is the only thing that truly satisfies us. it was really sweet. back to Friday. after we changed we went to our first performance location. we performed at 3 different locations on Friday. i had no idea how big this festival was, mostly because i can't read or understand Japanese enough to ever understand any explanation. but yeah. it was huge. it was quite a sight seeing Yosakoi teams all decked out in their costumes walking around Sapporo or through train stations.

quick Friday night side note-- Friday night after we got back to the hotel i get a text from Mike saying "There's a party going on in heaven right now because YUSUKE ACCEPTED CHRIST TONIGHT!" then i get a call from Yusuke himself who explains it all to me and he was SO excited! ahhhhhh it was amazing! such an awesome way to end the day! thank you so much for all of you who have been praying for him! God answers prayers! ahhhh! yay! ok back to the festival. Saturday morning woke up about 6 am and got ready for a long day of performing. our first performance was the competition main stage- here is a video that a former Samurai took (6 Samurai alums came to support us and take photos- it was so cool!) this is probably the best video we have of the performance because you can see everyone and get the whole effect. i'm on the left but you can't really see me to the end when we're running off stage- i kind of jump up and down and wave. just know i'm there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ9L5J0jilw&sns=tw

we ended up performing in 5 different locations on Saturday and one of the performances was a parade so we performed 5 times in a row- we'd perform, run to the next spot, perform, run, perform, run, perform, run, perform run. it was some crazy cardio. and in the rain so we were definitely dancing through some puddles. it was still pretty sweet though. my friend Kari from USC is currently teaching English in Hokkaido so she came down to Sapporo to watch me! she also took a video of one of our parades- it's not the greatest quality but you can see me for part of it because i'm on the side closest to her camera.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gchxM8mDEnI

that night we were pretty beat- we stopped at a 7/11 for the next day's breakfast, then showered and went to bed. the next morning my roommates and i had to get ready super fast because we had to check out before we left for the festival. 7 of the Samurai had to leave Sunday night, the rest stayed til Monday to go sightseeing. hopefully next year i can stay for sightseeing because we really had no time during the festival. Sunday we performed in 3 different locations but the last one was a parade so once again we performed 5 times. it was such a weird feeling after it was over. it seemed like the weekend went by so quickly. the great thing was that i got to meet a ton of new people and really bond with them, share about Student Impact and my life as a Christian with several so when i come back to Japan in 3 months i will have already established these relationships and can pick up where i left off.

tomorrow all the STINTers go to debriefing in Nikoo, a few hours away from Tokyo. it's crazy to think our time is almost at an end. and that next Saturday i will be on a plane headed back to the States. i will be in LA until July 8, then Dallas til the end of September and would love to meet up with you during that time!

for now, here are some pictures from the weekend: enjoy!

my plane buddies- Michiyo (the guy) speaks English fairly well so praise God that he was next to me on the plane! Day 1 of performing! myself and Aibo (one of my best translators) in our costumes! eating miso ramen at a famous restaurant Friday night in between performances with some of my group (because there were 130 Samurai, they divided us into groups of 9-10 people) Odori Samurai's leader (or "sempai")- his nickname is Punk, which is very fitting. he's pretty crazy but awesome Odori Samurai's subleader Jun (nickname Mabo)- he was one of the first Samurai i met and speaks English really well so he's really helpful my hero of Samurai, Masami (nickname HighTech)- she is the best English speaker in Samurai and God placed her in my group which was AWESOME. she was beyond helpful during every practice and during Hokkaido my whole group (Group 9) on the last day of performing Samurai saying goodbye to those of us who had to leave early- i could only get about 1/2 of the Samurai in the picture (there were 130 of us after all) we had to ride the plane in our costumes because we didn't have time to change beforehand- i've never ridden a plane in such a crazy outfit before! it was pretty fun though

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- Yusuke's growth as a Christian
- our debriefing time this week
- i have a sinus infection and i feel like i have a fever and i just feel pretty miserable right now- please pray God heals me as i really don't have time to be sick considering i leave in 11 days....

LET'S BANKARA! （バンカラ）

2011-06-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

this was our last week at Waseda University. official week, that is. i'm going to have to go back to Waseda a few times before i leave Tokyo to meet with students one last time, as well as for Paddy meetings and possibly a Samurai practice. man i can't believe i only have 2 more weeks in Japan! i'm coming back of course, but still, several students are going abroad so i won't see them again until next June, and so i want to meet with them one more time before i leave.

in other news, tomorrow morning i get on a plane to go to HOKKAIDO for 3 days of performing with Odori Samurai in Sapporo's June Yosakoi Festival. our dance is called Bankara ( i don't know why) and every email the past few days has ended with "Let's Bankara!" - it's like our battle cry now. i haven't started packing yet and i have to leave for the airport in like 6 hours. oh dear. of course that isn't stopping me from writing this blog post. sigh.

to be honest, i'm really excited, but i'm also really nervous. i'm nervous about performing, but mostly because my ankles and knees have been hurting A LOT. my ankles have been really swollen every day lately. i've been icing them every night but they're in a constant state of sore and swollen. not good considering we are performing like 6-7 times in the next 3 days...

i'm also really nervous about my lack of Japanese understanding. it could be really difficult. humbling of course, i don't really mind humbling, but i hate to be a burden to those who can speak English, and i'm just nervous....i can't really explain it. i'm praying one of my roommates can speak some English.

please be praying for me this weekend- my main goal of this trip is not to just have fun and perform in a festival, but to build stronger relationships within Samurai and share the Gospel at least a couple times. please pray for wisdom and discernment, for boldness, for opportunities to share the Gospel, that i would meet more people who speak English, that language would not be a barrier or a problem this weekend, and that God would heal my knees and ankles and help them to get through 3 days of performing.

ok i should really pack. hopefully i can get a video of this weekend and post it soon!

LET'S BANKARA!

MAY SHOWERS....

2011-05-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

so i've been saying i was going to write this blog post for the past 3 weeks.....

but i'm finally doing it! hurray!

Team Bonding Day in Tachikawa Park

it's almost the end of May, which is insane because i feel like May just began. speaking of beginnings, the rainy season of Japan has officially begun and is now in full swing. in fact, there's apparently a typhoon going on..for Tokyo, it means lots of rain and wind. not the best combination when you have to bike everywhere. it's also tough because we can't plan any events outside or anything due to constant rain. and most students won't hang out outside (due to rain) so there are less places to meet students on campus.

but speaking of campus, i suppose i should update on that. May has been very busy and productive. i joined a futsal circle called Diente FC that has many students who speak english (futsal is basically soccer but the court is smaller and the ball is a bit smaller and heavier)- its a very relaxed circle though so basically i just go play whenever i have the time. i also started playing soccer on tuesday afternoons with some Paddy members- i'm discovering that sports are a great way to bond with students. of course, now that it's raining so much games are sometimes cancelled but that's life. i also officially joined Odori Samurai, a traditional Japanese dance group. they do a style of dance called Yosakoi, or Soran. here are a couple of videos from a couple years ago- we perform both stage versions and parades:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kdBarfaFSE&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeeigpEXBm4&NR=1
there are about 150 students in the group, so it's an amazing place to meet students and build relationships. every practice i meet new people, and many of them speak english which is helpful. unfortunately practices are all run in Japanese so a lot of the time i have to ask for clarification, but everyone is really nice and supportive so it's encouraging. everyone goes by nicknames that the leaders give you- they gave me mine even before the first practice: Ninja. it makes me happy, not gonna lie. everyone thinks i'm cool because my nickname is Ninja. my first practice was so fun and i met some girls who spoke english really well, but my second practice was pretty difficult because they weren't there so i was pretty much on my own. on the way home i felt really frustrated and i actually skyped my mom and was considering dropping Samurai, but she talked me back into it and afterward i realized that i think a lot of the frustration was spiritual attack. my mom reminded me why i first wanted to join the group- because of how many people i can reach. she reminded me that it's been so easy for me so far because the clubs i've joined have many english speakers, so this will be more of a challenge, but it would be worth it in the end. the challenging part of being in Samurai is that they send out a ton of emails every day and of course they're all in Japanese so i have to get them all translated and so i often feel like a burden, but i think deep down it's my pride just not wanting to have to ask all the time. Samurai is definitely forcing me to practice Japanese more though- both speaking and listening, so while it's difficult, it's also good for my Japanese acquisition. we are performing in Hokkaido (northern Japan) at a huge festival in 2 weeks, so we have lots of practices but it's worth it. it's going to be such an amazing opportunity to grow relationships in the club- i'm really excited.

the first week back on campus we focused on just meeting new students. our goal was to make 4 separate conversation initiations with people we didn't know. Monday night i had a horrible dream about zombies and got one of the worst sleeps of my life- woke up feeling not only exhausted but sick as well and seriously contemplated staying home but i knew it wasn't coincidence that i woke up feeling so gross our first day back on campus, so i prayed that God would pull me out of bed and He did and we had an awesome hour of prayer on campus that was so refreshing and afterward i was not only feeling better but so excited to go and meet people- Henry and i paired up and we met 2 girls in the cafeteria- Miki and Akiko. they were freshmen and rather scared to speak english so the conversation didn't go that far but they were nice and it was an enjoyable lunch. afterward we sat on a bench outside and watched a guy attempt to pass out flyers- he was not having much luck but he was so energetic and entertaining, so once he'd handed out his last ones we clapped for him and he ran up and gave us high fives and we ended up talking to him and his friend for a long time- his friend even invited henry to go drinking haha. then we wandered to another part of campus and met 2 guys on the tennis team; one was also on a futsal circle (similar to soccer but the ball is a bit smaller and heavier, and the court is smaller than a soccer field). we gave them our contact info but they still haven't contacted us which is sad but oh well. then we went to Building 11 (or the SILS building as we call it- SILS = School of International Liberal Studies, so almost everyone in the department speaks english at least some). there we ran into our friend Suguru whom we met last semester- he knows literally everyone in the entire SILS department. hang around him and you meet 5 new people in 5 minutes. we played cards with him and 2 of his friends, Mizuha and Hiroki, then on our way out of the SILS lounge i met a girl named Tin who wants to hang out even though we didn't talk for long at all! so encouraging! later that afternoon as i was waiting for Paddy's meeting to begin i went to Building 14's "Sun Room" (we call it that because it's basically all windows so when it's sunny it's really warm) and sat at a table with a girl who looked kind of lonely. she ended up asking where i was from and we got into good conversation- turned out she's 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 Korean and also a Christian! i invited her to church but she's very wary about church in Japan because she had heard rumors about cults and churches that don't teach the Bible. hopefully she comes soon though. that night i got to meet 7 new people at Paddy's meeting and get into some awesome spiritual conversations with several of them! Wednesday lyndsey and i had lunch with 2 freshman girls named Shiomi and Achiko- they were nice but their english wasn't that great so the conversation didn't go too far. we went to the SILS lounge and i ran into my friend Miko who introduced me to 4 of her friends, then we met a group of people in a tennis circle in a different lounge, then 2 more girls in the law building. none of these conversations went too far but we were able to share about Student Impact and talk to them a bit. that night i had Samurai practice and got to meet a few more people who speak english. Thursday Ariel and i met 3 girls at lunch named Mimi, Satomi, and Yukie- their english level wasn't great but they were so sweet and Yukie actually had been to Paddy! we got their contact information and they want to meet up more! after that we met 2 girls named Mona and Yui- we were able to get into pretty deep conversation with them but they started getting uncomfortable so it didn't end that great so it was a bit discouraging but afterward we just prayed that God would work in their hearts and protect them from any lies Satan was putting in their minds. afterward was more encouraging- we met up with a Christian freshman student named Takuma who wanted to practice evangelism so he brought us to meet a ton of his friends. Friday i woke up feeling really sick so i didn't go to campus. Saturday i went to homeless church and MIke and i had Bible study with Yusuke, who has started to want to have Bible studies with us every Saturday. he's been coming to church every week as well- it's really exciting to see his enthusiasm to know more about God. Monday the 16th i had Samurai practice and met 3 more people who speak english- their nicknames are Rock, Pioneer and Galileo. Galileo is one of the sweetest people i've met in Japan-- sometimes she meets me at the station and we walk to practice together or we'll take the train back together.

the 2nd week of campus we decided to have picnics to bring together old and new friends and make 1,000 origami cranes for Tohoku, or senbazuru in Japanese. God blessed us with good weather all 3 days of the picnics, and brought more students than we ever imagined would show up.
many of the friends we had invited also invited their friends so we got to meet a ton of new students. in fact, at Thursday's picnic there were 3 girls sitting close by whom i invited to come sit with us and they turned out to be great english speakers and want to meet up more! at Friday's picnic i met a girl named Mari- she's friends with our old friend Atsushi who brought her to the picnic. she and i basically had everything in common and were calling each other "twin" by the end of lunch. but the best part- she used to go to church and wants to start coming to church with us! God is awesome! that Friday i went to Paddy and got to meet 5 new people, and Ariel led a discussion on joy- our group got into awesome deep conversation about joy vs. happiness, and i was able to share that my joy comes from relationship with God. i think the discussion really opened up a lot of minds.

May 21st we had a huge welcome event we called New Start, a way to welcome new friends, see old ones and challenge them to think about what they're living for this year. Henry shared a message on purpose based on Ecclesiastes 1, and through that was able to share his testimony and the Gospel. many of the students who came were interested in learning more and afterward we got to have a ton of great spiritual conversations! i even got in a really deep conversation about heaven and hell with one student named Gosuke- his english is amazing and he is also in Paddy with me and Ariel. all in all the event was a success! Henry talking about purpose
spiritual conversations after the event

sorry this was such a long post- and i definitely left some things out- but it was quite a busy first month back on campus for us! i can't believe it's almost June though! we only have 2 more weeks left on campus now, and 4 in Japan!!!

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- i think i have bronchitis-- please pray that God heals me quickly so i can continue these last few weeks strong
- that God would provide lots of appointments these next two weeks with people who are interested in learning about the Gospel
- good time management, energy and strength!
- our first Summer Project team just got here last week-- please pray that God uses them in awesome ways in the 5 weeks they are in Tokyo and they would be able to have a ton of opportunities to share the Gospel!

GOLDEN WEEK & BACK TO SCHOOL...

2011-05-09T01:38:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is our first official day back on campus at Waseda University. school was pushed back a month due to the earthquake which makes it tough for us because now we only have 5 weeks- FIVE WEEKS- on campus until our debriefing. so not only are all of us somewhat freaking out that tomorrow is our first day back on campus, we're also freaked out that we only have 5 more weeks to meet people and share the Gospel. technically i have all of next year too but i need to focus on the present.

it seems so short. and yet Summer Project was only 5 weeks and it seemed so long. but we all know it's going to go by so fast. the start of the year is a crazy time and we want to make the most of it. this week our whole focus is new students- basically meeting as many as we can. also the clubs are starting up again so we're checking those out as well. i'm already in the English club (speaking of, Yusuke is coming to the English club tomorrow! he wants to improve his english to talk to us more because we've started doing Bible study with him on Saturdays after the homeless church!) and i'm joining a futsal club (basically soccer but it can be indoor or outdoor and the ball is a bit smaller) as well as Odori Samurai, which means Dancing Samurai- it's a traditional Japanese dance group and they are SO AWESOME. anyway i'm excited for those!

so now i will briefly recap Golden Week, the first week of May in which Japan basically goes on holiday for the whole week. we got back from Tohoku on Tuesday. Wednesday my church had a huge picnic and we (most of the STINTers and Yusuke) spent the day in the park eating, meeting new people and playing sports, which was really fun til i twisted my ankle playing soccer. luckily i had thought ahead and brought athletic tape so it didn't swell too bad. the night ended with worship around a bonfire which was pretty sweet. Thursday i took an easy day and got some things done like laundry. Friday we had "team fun day" and went to Tachikawa to play in the park- we rode tandem bikes, took lots of pictures, and attempted to jump on Marshmallow Mountain but since last year they changed the rules so only elementary school children can jump on it and we were very depressed. other than that it was quite a fun day. Saturday went to homeless church for the first time in a few weeks so it was good to be back. Yusuke, Mike and i had Bible study together at breakfast- it's so awesome seeing him ask questions and want to learn more! afterward my friend Kari from USC was visiting Tokyo so she treated me to Disneyland- it was pretty awesome. then she spent the night and left to go back to Hokkaido (where she's teaching English) Sunday morning. Sunday there was a special Mother's Day service, and after we went to eat at Mcdonald's with Yusuke. then i had Holy Spirit dance practice and they commissioned me to do a jazz/lyrical solo for one of our dances we're performing in 2 weeks...need to choreograph that soon. it was cool to be asked though. i think it was because they don't have choreography for that section but oh well. no idea when i'll have time to do it though- this week's already looking crazy busy. excited to go back to Waseda though!

PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR US AS WE RETURN TO CAMPUS!

also, this Friday we're having our 2nd Waseda Unity night- so excited to see the Christians at Waseda come together to pray for revival!

Please Pray For:
- lots of new students we can meet
- focus and perseverance
- clear opportunities to share the Gospel
- spiritual protection
- boldness and courage!

RETURN FROM TOHOKU

2011-05-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

man...where do i even start?

by the way, it's MAY. how weird is that? it's MAY. that means i only have 2 more months of my first year of STINT. that's crazy. AHHH. ok freak out time later. for now, i'll write about what you really want to read.

so, Tohoku.

April 28, Thursday night for us, we all met at Shinjuku Shalom Church, one of the churches involved in Hope Japan, to load up a truck of supplies to bring to the tsunami survivors, as well as meet our team and have orientation/ briefing. the members of my team: STINTERs- me, Esther, Mike, AJ, and Ariel + Yusuke (a friend of Mike's and mine whom we met at the homeless church- he's not Christian but has a huge heart for people) and Makoto (a high school student friend of ours from ICU High School), then the rest of our team was Tomo (or Tomo-chan as we call her), Maiko, Michiyo (our official translator), Hiro, Mency (or Auntie Mency), Ingo (from Germany), Toshi, Rachel (from England) and our team leader, Nobu. i think i said in my last post that there were 17 of us- there were actually only 16. we had 2 guys driving the truck but they were only with us for the first 2 days, and to be honest i never got their names. anyway after they explained what our schedule would be like, we had some introduction time as well as prayer time, then we loaded the cars and were off! my car included Mike, Yusuke, Esther, Mency, Tomochan and Nobu. Nobu was so patient with us. we had a lot of fun though. we left about 2 am and drove 10 hours through the night to Yamada-cho, where we served udon to 400 people at Minami Elementary School, one of the schools being used as an evacuation center. we were all pretty tired but the need for speed spurred us on since we had so many people to feed. didn't really get to talk to too many of the evacuees because i was working so much but a few of the Japanese volunteers were able to talk to them a bit. it was a bit difficult to hear their stories because they weren't very willing to open up to strangers, but some were more willing to talk. we ended work about 4 pm, then we loaded the truck and headed to Ishinomaki, our home for the next 4 days. Ishinomaki was about a 5 hour drive from Yamada-cho, so we stopped and got dinner along the way. we arrived at the elementary school evacuation center about 10 pm and claimed our "rooms"- basically cardboard boxes. my box- #59. it was actually rather cozy (but i was surrounded by boy boxes and they snored, especially Nobu, Mike and Yusuke...) my box all fixed up the evacuation center- elementary school gym

the next morning woke up at 4:15 am because we had to leave by 5 am to get to Ofunato, Iwate by 10 am. Ofunato is a coastal city that was devastated by the tsunami. we went to Sakan-cho Kameria Hall, one of the evacuation centers and handed out clothes and supplies, as well as cooked soup and BBQ for 350 people.
people lining up for food this lady told us how she and her coworkers saw the water coming and had to run away from the tsunami up a hill...so crazy...

the coolest part of the day was that one girl we met accepted Christ! she had been sitting nearby where we were setting up the supplies to hand out, apparently waiting for someone. we tried talking to her a couple times but she seemed reluctant to talk. finally lyndsey and tomochan started talking with her more and heard her story- she was actually waiting for a guy she'd met online because she was so lonely and didn't have anyone she could trust, so lyndsey and tomochan started sharing the Gospel with her and she said- "how do i have this?" it was awesome. great way to end the day! we left about 5 pm, grabbed dinner at a combini along the way, and got back to the evacuation center about 9 pm, where we were able to meet some of the evacuees and talk with them a bit. i really wished i knew more Japanese but thankfully we had several people on our team who could speak both Japanese and English so they were able to translate. i gave out some candy and chocolate to the people who were still awake (some of the older people went to sleep pretty early)- the great thing about candy is you don't have to speak much Japanese to give it out. there were 4 kids in the evacuation center- Misaki, who's about 7, her older sister Mirai, 9 years old, Shoto, a boy who's 10 years old, and his brother Toya, who is 15. we got to hang out with them quite a bit which was a lot of fun. they had way too much energy though. probably because they're living in boxes in a gym and have very little to entertain them...

anyway, Sunday we left about 7:30 am for church- we drove to Kensennuma and had church in someone's home because the actual building had been completely destroyed in the tsunami. but it was so amazing to be with the survivors- they still had so much joy and love and hope even though their church and many of their homes had been wiped away. in fact, right after the service, one of the guys came up and accepted Christ! it was so incredible to see- his whole family came up and hugged him and were crying for joy. after church we had lunch and fellowship time, and got to hear many stories from the survivors. after church we explored the area a bit- it was so surreal to walk among the devastation... to drive past it every day is one thing- you're looking out the window, and while it's heartbreaking, it's a bit difficult to take in because you're separated from it still...but when you're walking around, and you can touch the broken wood and see broken homes and smell the rotting fish and mud...it starts to hit you.
pile of debris with a submerged house in the river...

after we explored, we went to a sento (public bath house) for a shower and a bit of rest- we hadn't been able to shower since thursday because the evacuation center didn't have showers (as it is an elementary school). not gonna lie, it was nice to be clean. after we had all showered, we ate dinner and returned to Ishinomaki to spend the evening hanging out with the evacuees. gave out some more candy, hung out with the kids...made balloon animals and origami, etc. then me, Ariel, AJ, Michiyo and Yusuke had Bible study. it was so cool to see Yusuke's face start to understand more of the Bible and see his excitement to learn! he wants to start doing Bible study more and get involved in Student Impact! so awesome! then we had a team meeting where we divided into 2 teams for the next day- cleaning team and caring team. then we met with our teams ( i was the only girl on the cleaning team but i had already bought a jumpsuit, gloves, a heavy duty mask and a headlamp so i wanted to make use of them) then headed to bed. woke up at 4:30 am because some of the evacuees were already awake, dozed until 6 am then got up because we had to be ready by 7 am anyway for breakfast. we left at 7:30 am to go clean Nao Abe's sushi restaurant (he was one of the evacuees). it was the first time he'd been back since the tsunami, and we had to pry open the gate/door thing to get in. there was no electricity so it was really dark- thank goodness for headlamps. it was so helpful. when we first walked in, there was a ton of mud all over the floor, and the counter had at least 5-6 inches of mud. our first mission was to clean the counter and get the stuff off the shelves. Abe-san didn't want to keep any of it though- he had us throw everything in one of the wrecked cars in front of the restaurant. he didn't even want to keep any of the beautiful pottery or glass- it was sickening hearing the sound of shattering bowls and glasses as we threw bucket after bucket of things into the car. i think he partly just didn't want to keep anything that was a reminder of the tsunami- it was easier to start fresh. then we started on cleaning the mud off the stairs and the tetami section. the water line reached almost to the ceiling so there was mud on everything. the back room was the worst though- the mud was so thick and high that it almost took my boots off. we shoveled some into buckets, but we had to move out all the equipment before we could shovel the rest. there was an enormous fridge that had toppled over so the guys moved that out, then we were able to move out the tables/counters and sink, etc. so we could shovel all the mud and debris from the floor. Yusuke and i became shoveling machines- i think it was just adrenaline but also a sense of "i can't stop now." the feeling after we were done was indescribable. when we could look around the room and see no more mud...it was amazing. after we finished the back room, we cleaned the floor in the main room (being able to see the floor- also an incredibly exciting moment) and shoveled all the mud into bags. here are some pictures-
the back room after we'd taken stuff off the shelves but still blocked by the fridge the clean sushi restaurant! the car stuffed to overflowing w/ stuff from the restaurant bags full of mud so heavy they were impossible to lift cleaning team with the 2 owners of the restaurant - i'm on the far right if you couldn't tell. if you notice, the top of my jumpsuit is light grey- the rest of it was that color at the beginning of the morning, but 4 hours of shoveling left it black with mud. my boots were black too until Mike washed them off for me.

it was quite a day. the mud had so much rotting stuff in it that there were chemicals and some type of most likely toxic film stuff on it, and i was pretty covered in it by the end. it was even in my hair somehow. we smelled foul. and we couldn't shower. but the guys respected me i think for working so hard with them. and it was all so worth it, just to see the hope on Abe-san's face that yes, perhaps he could reopen his restaurant, he could rebuild, he could start anew and there was life after the tsunami. and when we got back to the evacuation center i scrubbed my arms and legs with soap and water, and wiped off with wet wipes, and washed my hair in the sink...while it all left something to be desired, it did feel better. i had to throw away my watch though- the band was kind denim/leather and it smelled putrid. i threw away my jumpsuit and gloves and am still debating whether or not to keep my boots. after we returned to the evacuation center and cleaned up a bit, we had lunch and then took a tour through Ishinomaki, basically to get a closer look at the devastation around us. then we returned and cooked dinner for the evacuees/ played with the kids. it was really sweet- even though i really couldn't talk to the girls, everywhere i was they would come running up to me saying "Kimichan Kimichan! come play!" (but in Japanese) so that made me feel good. they even called me on Tuesday when i was back in Tokyo just to say hi. Mirai especially loved piggy back/shoulder rides...i have never been a pony so much in my life, and my shoulders are still feeling it. but it was so worth it once again, just to hear the girls laugh and see their smiles. a lot of us went outside and played tag with the kids as well. after dinner we all made origami cranes and wrote "May God bless you" and "We're praying for you" in Japanese on the wings and then Makoto and i went around to each evacuee and gave them out along with a vitamin drink and told them just how thankful we were to be able to stay there and we hope to come back. everyone was so sweet and appreciative. one of the little old men asked to trade his crane for a kiss from me, which was a bit awkward but sweet just the same. i think. in the end i kissed my hand and touched his cheek. after we finished passing out cranes, we packed up our stuff and it was time to head home. we said our goodbyes (Misaki and Mirai took it rather hard and so we gave them our phone #s to call us) and then we were off! AJ joined our car for the ride home, so it was rather rambunctious but fun. we arrived back in Tokyo about 6 am, and it was difficult to say goodbye to the team. we had all bonded so much over just a few days. thankfully everyone goes to New Hope so we'll get to see them again at church and i'm sure we'll all hang out more again. the whole team

i think i'm just starting to process it all. it's still a bit weird for me to sleep in a bed and take a shower, to actually be able to use the tap water and not brush my teeth with a water bottle...and as i look through my pictures i'm just starting to realize, wow, i was THERE. the places the news has been taking pictures of...i was there. but the pictures i took weren't to preserve memories- they were so i could share with you all what it's really like. even after almost 2 months, a huge part of Japan still looks like this. yes, people are beginning to pick up the pieces, but very, very slowly. people are still in shock. many have no hope of any future. their livelihoods, their homes, their families are gone. they have nothing left. many suicides have already been reported. so what can you do? you can share these pictures with others. you can pray for God to work miracles in this country. you can send money to organizations like www.crashjapan.com and www.worldvision.org and the Red Cross. you can even come and help.

and you can remember. you can keep the world from forgetting this happened even though the news is no longer reporting it. we have a bad habit of only paying attention to "fad news." don't let yourself fall into apathy. this earthquake and tsunami shook up not just one nation, but the world. don't ever forget that something like this could happen anywhere, even (gasp!) America. will you be ready? will your friends and family? do they know of a hope and future that surpasses this life? do they know who to cling to when everything in their lives has been destroyed? if they do not, then your mission is clear- to share with them that Jesus Christ offers them something much better than this life, an eternal life in Paradise, and a love that conquers earthquakes, tsunamis, and even death.

here are some pictures of the destruction: for more, please feel free to look at my Facebook album (if you have Facebook) - http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1639637880437.2062795.1521480060

"Ganbarou" - probably the most used phrase in Japan right now, along the lines of "You can do it" or "You can get through this" but can also mean "Do your best" or "Hang in there"

prayer requests:
- for the over 200,000 evacuees of the Tohoku region
- for Misaki, Mirai, Shoto, Toya and all the other children who have lost their homes and families -- may the Lord prevent this trauma from negatively affecting their mental states
- for people like Nao Abe who's businesses have been destroyed- may the Lord rebuild them on a foundation that cannot be shaken
- for God to send many many more workers to be His hands and feet in Tohoku!
- for Yusuke's heart to be opened to the Gospel soon!

God bless you all!

TO THE NORTH...

2011-04-28T01:04:00.000-07:00

last week we found out that we would have the opportunity to go north to help the relief effort with New Hope Tokyo, our current church. they are partnering with a couple other churches and the whole project is called Hope Japan. Michelle, Kat, Lyndsey and Dave left for Kesennuma this morning, and tonight at midnight i, along with AJ, Mike, Ariel, and Esther (and Yusuke, a student friend of myself and Mike) will be leaving for Ishinomaki in Miyagi Prefecture. we will be a part of a team of 17 people total, and will be staying at an elementary school that has turned into an evacuation center, so we will actually be staying with the people we are serving, which is pretty exciting.

for the next 5 days, we will be cleaning, cooking, and serving the evacuees in whatever ways we can. Friday night we will be serving food for 400 people, Saturday for 350 people. we will not have internet access (or even showers...which might prove interesting) but i WILL have my phone so if you need or want to email me you can email my phone at kimiyo629@willcom.com.

i ask you to please remember me and my team over these next 5 days, as they will be very mentally, physically and emotionally challenging. these people are running out of hope, and our goal is to give them some through Christ's love.

PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR:
- safety to and from Miyagi (it's about a 6-10 hour drive because some of the roads are still blocked)
- spiritual protection
- for God to open the hearts of the people we meet, that we are able to share the Gospel with them
- that God would speak through us and we can communicate well, and that God would give us wisdom on what to say/ when to talk or when to listen
- i've had some sort of sinus infection thing for the past two or three weeks, and it's not getting any better. i've been waking up at around 5 am due to allergies, and it's not very restful. please pray for God's strength and healing so i can do God's work to the best of my abilities in Miyagi and as the school year begins

and one more: please also continue to pray for more guys to join our team next year! the deadline is TOMORROW!!!!

HE IS RISEN!

2011-04-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter from Tokyo!

STINTers, students and 1 of the New Hope pastors Easter Sunday

to be honest, i really missed my Easter traditions this year. every year my mom and i decorate our Easter tree, and the Easter bunny packs an awesome Easter basket, and we go to church and get donut holes while waiting in line because all the people who only come to church on Easter are filling up the sanctuary, and there's always the huge cross with Easter lilies and the stairs are filled with lilies and we sing Lift High the Cross and Christ the Lord is Risen Today and there's the brass and drums and then afterward a lunch of Reeses eggs and Cadbury Creme Eggs...

but Easter here was pretty sweet too. it's been a great way to share the Gospel with students- saying "what are you doing this weekend?" and then they ask me and i say "my church is having a big Easter celebration- do you know about Easter?" and then normally i get to just launch right into the Gospel. it's awesome. my mom sent me some Easter candy which was an awesome taste of home. i brought i bag of Dove chocolate eggs to church today and passed them out to everyone i knew.

speaking of church, i was able to bring Saori (friend from Waseda whom i shared the Gospel with back in January) to a big Easter concert at Tokyo Baptist Church Saturday night. it was really awesome- afterward we went to Starbucks w/ my friend Takako who is a pretty recent Christian and we were able to explain a lot about Christianity to Saori and share a lot about our own testimonies. and Sunday i met up with Noriko, a girl i haven't seen since Summer Project 2 years ago- we had lunch and she came to New Hope's Easter service and really enjoyed it! ALSO, Yusuke, a guy who helps out with the homeless church every Saturday but not a Christian, came to church both last week and on Sunday! he wants to start coming every week, and he sent me a message yesterday saying he'd started reading the Bible! praise God for all He's doing in the hearts of the Japanese!
Yusuke and me after church

i'll write more later, but for now here are a few more pictures from this past month:

Paddy (Waseda English Club) Hanami Party! "Hanami" means literally "flower watching" - in Japan it's extremely popular to have Hanami parties, basically picnics under sakura trees enjoying the park with Yumi and Saki, two new Paddy friends
sakura petals completely covered the lake in the park (sakura doesn't last too long)
Inokashira Park with one of our Student Impact students, Nozomi

PRAYER REQUEST:

WE STILL NEED ONE MORE GUY TO COME STINT IN TOKYO NEXT YEAR OR WE CAN'T SEND A TEAM! IF YOU ARE MALE OR KNOW OF ANY WHO MAY WANT TO STINT, EMAIL CAYLA.HATTER@USCM.ORG IMMEDIATELY!!!!

ANOTHER ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY...

2011-04-11T04:03:00.001-07:00

anniversaries are normally happy occasions. reason for celebration.

today is the one month anniversary of the Tohoku Earthquake/Tsunami.
and how does the earth celebrate that? by striking Fukushima with a 7.1 earthquake and several +4 aftershocks. not cool, planet earth.

what has changed in this past month? i can't even believe it's been a whole month since the first earthquake. the whole experience has been surreal. power outages, food shortages, evacuation, aftershocks every day, more earthquakes, rumor that Mt. Fuji is getting restless and is 300 years overdue to erupt...but every aftershock is a reminder of how unstable and broken our world really is, and every day i wake up is another day that God has blessed me with in order to bless others.

the disconcerting thing is how frequent the aftershocks are coming these days, and how used to them we're getting (we're actually having one as i type this...) Japan really is an adaptable country. they simply suck it up and move on. i was on the train today when the 7.1 earthquake hit- the train was already stopped, so after the 45 second tremor it waited maybe 2 minutes and then resumed its course. but the earth, or God, seems determined not to let anyone forget what happened on 3/11. at least in Japan. i pray that the world does not forget. and i ask you to please continue to intercede for Japan during this time with your prayers.

things to pray for:
- wisdom and discernment for the prime minister, government officials and the executives of TEPCO
- organization, manpower and open doors for the relief organizations such as Crash Japan, World Vision, Samaritan's Purse, The Red Cross, etc.
- open doors for Naoyoshi Sato & the 6-7 other Christians we know of working in the Fukushima nuclear plants to share the Gospel with their co-workers, and for safety/protection for all of them from radiation
- the families of the over 13,000 dead due to the tsunami and the over 15,000 still missing
- for God to provide for the over 150,000 people now homeless
- strength, safety and energy for the rescuers
- for God to raise up the Christians in Fukushima and Miyagi and use them in mighty ways, that everyone who sees them would see the glory of God
- for safety and spiritual protection for the JCCC teams currently serving in Sendai (we're calling them Love in Action teams)
- for God to soften the hearts of the Japanese and open their eyes to see their need for a Savior and a kingdom that cannot be shaken
- FOR REVIVAL TO COME TO JAPAN!!!!

ways to help:

- www.crashjapan.com
- www.churcheshelpingchurches.com
- https://give.ccci.org --> there is a special Japan Emergency Fund: all support will go to ways to help the Tohoku area

CHANGING...

2011-04-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

as you know (if you've read my previous blog posts or my newsletter) we recently had our annual "Change" Student Conference. the goal? change. plain and simple. a place for God to change our hearts and equip us to go out and change Japan (and the rest of the world. why not?)

here is a video i made of some photos and footage from Change- enjoy!

the next few weeks we are planning for the start of the new school year (April 18th for Hitotsubashi, May 6th for Waseda U.) and there will definitely be some changes. but i'm looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us this next semester.

my goals for the new school year:
- go to Sendai/the Tohoku region and help with the relief effort at least once
- start Bible study with Kanae and Yui
- challenge one of our students to start discipling Kanae
- get another disciple
- get involved in New Hope's (my church's) dance ministry
- become an official member of Paddy (Waseda English club)
- start taking capoeira classes (for those who don't know what capoeira is, check it out, it's awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8xxgFpK-NM)
- find a taiko club (Japanese traditional drums) at Waseda or Hitotsubashi, and if they have one, join it!
- draw more
- actually study Japanese some every day/ speak Japanese more in conversation
- make surrendering to God a daily action
- more time reading, less time on Facebook

RETURN TO TOKYO!!!

2011-04-03T02:54:00.000-07:00

WE'RE BACK WE'RE BACK WE'RE BACK WE'RE BACK!!!

can you tell i'm excited?

tuesday we still had no idea when we would be back. so we spent the day not worrying and had a team day at a theme park called Kyoto Studio Park where everything was set in the Edo period and samurai and ninjas walked around and it was awesome!
here are some pictures:

wednesday our leaders told us that potentially we would be able to return to Tokyo Friday, but it was not yet finalized.
thursday we got the news that we would be able to return to Tokyo the following day. it was so exciting.

speaking of exciting, thursday lyndsey and i had the opportunity to go to Nara and hang out with our friend from Waseda, Kanae. Nara is her hometown and is only about an hour from Kyoto. we haven't seen her since January so it was so awesome to finally hang out with her again. in January she mentioned that she would like to do Bible study with us, so i asked her again if that was still something she'd like to do. she said yes and also wants to start coming to church with us! she even wants to bring her friend Yui along too! it was so encouraging! she showed us around and took us to Nara's famous temple, where there are literally hundreds of deer just hanging out all around the area. we got to feed them and IT WAS AWESOME. here are some pictures:

Kyoto was fun, but we all really missed Tokyo. and our apartments. and our beds. friday was our first night to sleep in our beds in 3 weeks because of Change Conference and then the 2 weeks of evacuation. it's really nice to be home.

but in Kyoto, we were able to escape some of the earthquake/tsunami aftermath. it's a lot more real here. and from the news, things aren't getting that much better. we're hoping to be able to go to Sendai to help within the next couple weeks. unfortunately, a lot of the relief organizations themselves aren't even sure how to go about relief efforts due to the magnitude of the situation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR JAPAN. prayer has power. if Jesus Christ is in us, He promises us that we have HIS power- his power to heal, to work miracles. when you pray, are you praying THAT your prayers MIGHT make a difference, or are you praying KNOWING your prayers DO make a difference?

as of now, 11,800 people are dead in the Tohoku region, and over 15,000 are still missing THREE WEEKS AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE/TSUNAMI. over 200,000 have lost their homes. you've seen the pictures on the news. the destruction is unbelievable. only God can rebuild this nation. only God can give them hope.

but you can make a difference. your prayers matter. if you are looking for a place to give, please go to
www.crashjapan.com
http://churcheshelpingchurches.org
www.worldvision.org

i've even conveniently linked them for you so you don't have to go through the effort of copying it into your browser.

Student Impact has challenged its students and staff to pray for Japan at 2:46 pm (Japan Time) every day. i challenge you to do the same. set an alarm on your phone. write it on your hand. but PLEASE PRAY.

even if it's 2:46 pm YOUR time, all prayers have power. if you want to pray at 2:46 pm Japan time, that would be 10:46 pm PST, 12:46 am Central time and 1:46 am EST.

"The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." ~ Psalm 145:18
"'Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." ~ Mark 11:22-24

I WILL REMAIN...

2011-03-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

"I WILL REMAIN CONFIDENT IN THIS I WILL SEE THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD..."

these are lyrics of a song sung by New Hope Oahu Church in Hawaii a week after the earthquake/tsunami, and they really struck me as i listened to them yesterday during my Day with the Lord.

it's been a week since we were evacuated to Kyoto. we still don't know when we can go back to Tokyo.

we are in an interesting situation. we HAVE been affected by the earthquake and tsunami in many ways- emotionally and physically. we experienced the quake, we have been sent away from our homes, we don't know when we can get back. we have been taken from everything we knew, our friends, our ministry, our students. our hearts break every day for the Japanese suffering in Miyagi prefecture. we've lived here in Japan for several months now, and this is not just our job but our LIVES. our very existence. everything we do from when we rise to when we sleep is based around our ministry, around how we can serve the Japanese. we feel what they feel. but we are also foreigners. even though i'm half-Japanese, and i feel that these are my people, i am still American. we cannot fully understand this tragedy. we cannot fully empathize. we felt the quake, but we still have electricity, we still have food and water, we still have homes in Tokyo. over 400,000 people have lost their homes. over 9,700 are dead, over 13,000 are still missing. we can never truly understand.

but we are still here. so what are we to do? in Sendai? in Tokyo? in Kyoto?

not gonna lie, it has been frustrating not knowing when we can go back to Tokyo; however, it hasn't been as bad as i would have expected. perhaps Japan is mellowing me, or i'm at last learning to accept that i have no control over anything and i have to just let God handle things. it is difficult though. we are forced to sit here in Kyoto and attempt to decipher what we should believe from the news, anxiously checking different news sites and talking with people still in Tokyo to try and formulate what is really going on. i think the most frustrating thing is that we KNOW that Tokyo is safe, and yet until we get the ok from CCC in the States, we have no choice but to stay here. something exciting in all this- we found out that not only are 5 Christian men working on the nuclear reactors, but Naoyoshi Sato, the man heading up the new cooling projects, is also a Christian. please pray for these brothers- that God would give them wisdom, strength, and opportunity to share the Truth with their fellow workers. please also pray that God would place more Christians in Sendai and Miyagi prefecture to help with the relief effort. we have signed up with CrashJapan ( www.crashjapan.com ) to go serve as a team in Sendai as soon as we get back to Tokyo. CCC is actually looking to partner with CrashJapan in the future and send teams to Sendai regularly, as this is going to be a long and arduous process of rebuilding.

so what have we been doing this week in Kyoto?

last Friday we did laundry, explored, got groceries, and had a pretty chill day. we had a prayer meeting for Japan, Naoyoshi Sato, the 5 of the workers at the nuclear plants are also Christians, and the reactor situation. Saturday morning we went to the Fushimi Inari Shrine, famous for its 10,000 torii (shrine gates) that create a 4 km trail/hike. it's also in Memoirs of a Geisha.

after that the KCCC stinters (kat, esther and dave) left to go to Korea (their parents were worried about them staying in Japan). it was tough seeing them go but hopefully they'll be back in a couple weeks. that evening we went to the Hanatoro Festival (flowers and lanterns)- it was in a huge park/shrine and had lots of food, flowers and lanterns.
Sunday we took the train to Osaka to go to church at Suita Bible Gospel Church (some of the Osaka CCC stinters and students go there). we had lunch at the church and then did some sightseeing in Osaka. we went to Umera and rode the gigantic ferris wheel on top of a building (and had a dance party on the ferris wheel). it was pretty cool.
Monday we had a STINT meeting and brainstormed some ways we could serve and do ministry here in Kyoto. the rest of the day we did admin stuff, answered emails, caught up with supporters, etc. Tuesday we actually went to Kyoto University and was our first real "campus day" since school ended at the end of January. God really blessed us with a great day- we were all a little nervous since we haven't done random outreach in a long time, but all of us had encouraging stories to tell at the end of the day. myself, lyndsey and michelle found a table of 4 girls and they allowed us to sit with them and we had almost a 2 hour conversation with them and got to share some of Gospel! we got their contact info and will hopefully be able to hang out with them before we leave! please pray for more opportunities to talk with Yukari, Kaori, Sumire and Mariko!
after campus we spent the evening walking around and exploring Kyoto. we got to meet some high school students who were raising money for Sendai outside the train station and talk with them for a bit. Wednesday was our monthly Day With The Lord- i spent the morning listening to a sermon, writing in my journal and skyping with my dad for his birthday. after that i explored and found a shrine that has a 3 legged gate (all other gates have 2 legs) - it is supposed to represent the creation god Amenonakumishi, "God in the Glorious Center of Heaven" who has 3 parts, or is made up of 3 gods? it's a little unclear, as different people say different things. i found a rock to sit on and read some Bible, prayed a lot, and then actually stood in front of the gate for awhile and read the Bible out loud. figured that since the Word of God has power, it wouldn't hurt to speak some Truth in that place.
then i went to a cafe mike, lyndsey and aj had found- it was so cute! and the guy who runs it, Hiro, is super nice. i got the most delicious chocolate cake and chai, journaled and read 1 Timothy.
i actually went back to the cafe today just to get more chai and cake and read some from Captivating.

please continue to pray that we can find ways to serve here in Kyoto and that God would open doors for us to do ministry (as well as give us patience to stay in Kyoto until we're allowed to go back to Tokyo). please pray for Naoyoshi Sato and the other workers at the nuclear reactor plants, and that God would provide those in Miyagi/Sendai with heat, electricity, food, water and shelter. also please continue to pray for the Japanese- that their hearts would be softened and opened by this tragedy and that they would realize their need for a Savior.

if you would like to donate or even come to serve in Sendai, please go to www.crashjapan.com

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I AM the Lord. They will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart." - Jeremiah 24:7

Lord may You bring revival to this country!

Some Pictures From the Past Few Weeks...

2011-03-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

The Staff and Graduating Students of Student Impact:

Pictures from Change Conference:
Worship was so moving even the band was on their knees
students praying with each other
Holy Spirit sign dance team!
CCC Staff and STINTers in our Soran Bushi (traditional Japanese dance) outfits!
New Friends!

ONE WEEK AGO....

2011-03-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

one week ago today, the earthquake that rocked a nation struck without warning.
one week ago today, we were all living "ordinary" lives.
one week ago today, the world seemed normal.
today, that world no longer exists.
today, we live not knowing what might happen at any moment.
but today, we live completely surrendered to God's will. we must. we have no other choice but to trust. to hope. to fight on.

so much has happened in the past week....i'm not even sure how to make it concise enough for one blog post, but i'll do my best:

Saturday we had an emergency prayer meeting for Japan at the Student Center- students, staff and stinters. we were worried our huge annual student conference- CHANGE- would be cancelled due to the earthquake/tsunamis. in fact, the entire family of our Tokyo director lives in Sendai, and he desperately wanted to go help his family, but ended up decided to continue with the conference, knowing that it was needed even more during this chaotic time. however, due to more predicted earthquakes and radiation scares, many parents refused to let their children come to Tokyo/ transportation was too difficult so we had about 30 less students at the conference than had registered. Sunday, our church held a service even though the building had been damaged by the earthquake. during worship, they played the songs Everlasting God, How Great is Our God, and You are God- from the first line of Everlasting God, my eyes filled with tears...

Everlasting God:
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord/We will wait upon the Lord/We will wait upon the Lord/Our God, You reign forever/ Our hope, our Strong Deliverer/You are the everlasting God/The everlasting God/You do not faint You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak/You comfort those in need/You lift us up on wings like eagles...

i looked around and saw and saw a room filled with Japanese Christians, singing of hope, love, and of a God greater than earthquakes, greater than tsunamis, and greater than our fears. needless to say, it was a moving moment, and i cried all during worship. our pastor reminded us that while we are such frail beings, the Truth tells us we have no need to fear, because we are held in the hands of the Almighty God of the Universe. Hebrews 12:25-29 reminds us that we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and to that hope and truth we must cling to during times such as this.

Monday we arrived at the train station about 7:30 am to find that they were regulating the amount of people going into the station. it took us over an hour to get from the stairs leading into the station to the actual train platform. line around the block
the conference ended up starting about an hour and a half late due to transportation issues. it was held at the Yoyogi Youth Olympic Center (Yoyogi= a city within Tokyo prefecture). the theme of the conference was Fishers of Men/Make Love the Goal, and the image on all the flyers had ironically been the famous Tsunami painting. but it actually worked- tsunamis are powerful, and tsunamis can change the world. the conference is designed to show students how God can change them, and how they can change Japan. during the first meeting, they showed a video of pictures from other countries that all had encouraging messages for Japan or said simply Pray for Japan. it was so moving i once again started crying. i think it was just the realization that the world was finally taking an interest in Japan, that all over the world, millions of Christians were praying for a country that had never before seen so much attention. also it was just moving.Tuesday the students had classes and workshops all day- i filmed a couple of them, but they were in Japanese so i couldn't understand what was going on. that night we had a huge prayer session for Japan that was so amazingly powerful- i will never forget it. an auditorium filled with people on their knees, desperately crying out to God. i was on my knees sobbing, but had to dry my tears because at the end of the meeting, our dance team performed a dance to Joyful, Joyful from Sister Act 2.

Wednesday was the radiation scare. the US and Japanese news were releasing differing things, and everyone was confused and nervous. Wednesday afternoon, our team leaders sat us down and told us we, the STINTers, were being evacuated to Kyoto on Friday. KCCC was being sent to Korea. and all the Japanese staff were being advised to leave Tokyo for a week or so. maybe it was a combination of exhaustion, pent up anxiety and a long week, but i started sobbing (4 days in a row is a record for me- God really broke me this week). i was just so disappointed and frustrated. Wednesday was supposed to be our huge day of outreach, where all the students would go into the city and share the Gospel, and hopes were high, but due to the radiation scare it got cancelled. and now we were being evacuated, even though Tokyo is over 200 km away from the nuclear reactors and is in no danger. but after the meeting i skyped with my mom and she reminded me that this is STILL God's plan, that God still sees the big picture, and that His plans are still better than mine. that night our Tokyo director, Yoshitaka, gave a great message on how our job here in Japan is not to share the 4 Spiritual Laws, not to increase the number of students in Student Impact, but to LOVE. to take every opportunity to love the Japanese. Thursday morning we said our goodbyes and headed back to Mitaka, planning on having a day and a half or so to prepare for Kyoto. but as soon as we arrived, our leaders told us the plan had changed and we would be leaving in just a couple hours, so we had to run home and furiously pack. but we made it.

and now we're in Kyoto. i'm still not happy we're here, but i know it's God's plan right now. and i know He's got something for us. we're being forced to "be still and know that He is God" (Psalm 46:10) but i know it will be for the best. we're safe from any radiation, and hopefully will be able to return to Tokyo soon. in other Japan news, almost 7,000 have been reported dead and over 10,000 people are still missing - PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR JAPAN!

May the Lord save this nation.

FIGHT ON, JAPAN

2011-03-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

the hours between 2:46 pm (Japan Time) and 1:46 am (the approximate time i went to sleep) were 11 of the scariest, confused, and nervous hours of my life.

i had never been in a natural disaster before.

natural disasters don't happen around me. they happen in far away countries. oh wait. i'm IN a far away country now. i'm in a country smack dab in the Pacific Ring of Fire, in a city sitting atop 3 grinding tectonic plates. not very comforting.

i had come home from our student center intending on taking a nap before our dance team sleepover (this no caffeine thing is killing me). i had just settled into bed when i felt the first rumblings. we've experienced small tremors here and there since i arrived in Japan, so i assumed this one would stop after a few seconds and i could resume my nap. but it didn't stop. it kept growing. and growing. and growing. i was alone in my apartment on the top floor of the building. i had never done an earthquake drill in school (Texas doesn't have earthquakes!) and had no idea what to do. i grabbed my phone as it rattled off my desk and tried calling my roommates (both from Cali) but they wouldn't pick up. about this time i started getting really scared. the shaking kept getting worse, and amidst the sounds of things crashing to the ground in the apartment, i crouched between my bed and desk and prayed that God would make it stop. i seriously thought the building might collapse. it was only about 5 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. the shaking finally began to subside, but over the next 11 hours we were still feeling aftershocks. in fact, as impossible as it is for me to believe, i'm feeling an aftershock as i type this. at least, i hope it's an aftershock and not a foreshock of another earthquake. they classified the 3 earthquakes that happened before the big one as "foreshocks" even though those themselves were each above 6. the earthquake that hit at 2:46 pm was an 8.9. if it had hit any closer to the mainland, it would have destroyed us. but it did plenty of damage, along with the tsunamis it caused to ravage the coasts. the Japanese media are saying the death toll is at least 1,000 by this point, and is expected to rise. 3 out of the 4 main Tokyo power plants lost power, leaving over 4,000,000 homes and buildings without electricity. thousands of Tokyo residents were stranded as all the trains were shut down. fires broke out in many areas, including Chiba and Odaiba (about an hour from Tokyo). Sendai was hit the hardest by both the quake and the tsunami. the Prime Minister has declared a state of nuclear emergency due to reactor failure.

never in my life did i think i would be a part of something like this. praise the Lord that myself, my team, our staff, and as far as i know all our students are safe. but i think of the 993 people out of those 1,000 who did not know Jesus. who died without a knowledge of eternal life. i pray that the Lord would use this disaster to wake up the Japanese, to open their eyes to the knowledge that their lives are finite, that they are not as secure as they believed, and that they have a very real need for a Savior. i remember a few months ago having a conversation with a teammate, saying that people in Japan are so comfortable that they see no need for God, that it might take some huge national catastrophe to wake them up. i wasn't praying for it, but it happened. may this give the world a new passion for mission in Japan. may this be used for God's glory.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." - Psalm 46:1-3

ReLENTing

2011-03-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

today is Ash Wednesday in the States, and the first day of Lent. it was yesterday here. today is thursday. and the second day of Lent.

Lent is a 40-day period starting on Ash Wednesday until Easter. The purpose is preparing the believer's heart for Holy Week and Easter through prayer, repentance, and self-denial or sacrifice. During Lent, it is common to give up one thing for 40 days that has a strong hold over you, something you are either addicted to or just something that would be difficult to live without, basically something that would be a sacrifice- as a reminder that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, that He gave up his LIFE for us, so that we may have eternal life. the point is to basically fast something that is keeping you from God, so that in the 40 days leading up to Easter we may cleanse ourselves and draw closer to God.

i've observed Lent for a number of years now, though growing up i wasn't too good at keeping my Lent fast of whatever it was i was fasting. the past 4 years i gave up all sweets (which was a challenge, let me tell you). of course, when Easter came, i dug right into my Easter candy that my mother would send me... i would have probably given up sweets again this year, but last year, i was rather convicted by a friend of mine- i had mentioned that i had given up sweets for the past 4 years, and he said, "oh so you don't have to give it up anymore!" i said "huh?" he said "well, you've done it the past 4 years, so you know you could do it again. it shouldn't have a hold over you anymore." ................................convicted.

while i still love sweets, and should probably eat less (but chocolate comes from a bean so it's technically a vegetable, right?) i knew in my heart that yes, i could give it up. it would be difficult but i knew i could do it.

what is the one thing i know would be the hardest thing for me to give up, the thing i've been addicted in some form or fashion to since junior year of high school?

yep.
caffeine.
i'm giving it up. for 40 whole days. i will not let a drop of coffee, a splash of espresso, or smidgen of tea leave touch my tongue (unless the tea is non-caffeinated). today is only day 2 and my head feels like it's in a foggy haze of...i don't even know because my brain can no longer formulate words. but the point isn't to be easy. the point is to put myself in a position where i absolutely MUST rely on God for energy, strength, focus, everything. i've become way to comfortable with just stopping at Starbucks or grabbing a latte from the combini (convenience store). i've become too used to quick fixes. and quick fixes never really last. and then you aren't satisfied so you just want more and more til you're so addicted you can't ever imagine living without it. which is where i've been the past 7 years, and i'm tired of it.

now i know when you fast something you're not supposed to proclaim it to the world, and i know that by putting it on my blog i am essentially giving the world the option of looking at it if they so desire. but i write all this not for anyone else, but because I want to remember this moment. because if you knew how addicted to caffeine i've been for 7 years (i'm sure some of you do already) then you would know how big of a deal this is, and how i'm going to need all the encouragement and support i can get because it is going to be one of the hardest things i've ever done. maybe this sounds melodramatic, but the facts are that caffeine is in fact classified as a drug, and one that is very addicting and a very difficult addiction to combat. i've had a pounding headache the past 2 days and seriously feel like i'm wading through a fog. i'm used to some form of caffeine at least 3 times a day- normally coffee in the morning, a latte in the afternoon and tea in the evening (which actually isn't as bad as it used to be in high school/college where i'd have maybe 4-5 shots of espresso a day). i'm also nervous because we're entering the busiest time of our entire year and i know we won't be getting much sleep. i know i can't do it alone. but i know i've got God on my side. and i know that His strength is better than any i could ever drink from a Starbucks cup.

as the Truth says,
"Even youth grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who wait upon the Lord shall have their strength renewed. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:30-31

It's MARCH?! Madness!

2011-03-01T07:13:00.000-08:00

so.....apparently it's no longer february. that went fast. not quite sure what happened there.

to be honest, february was a weird month. i had just gotten used to the routine of ministry, i was chugging away like the little engine that could, i was sharing the Gospel more than i ever had in my life, meeting tons of new people, then we go to Thailand for two weeks and while it was amazing, it really screwed up my rhythm. i spent basically the whole first week back just re-adjusting and recovering, and while i did get to have some awesome appointments with students, i felt like i wasn't really that productive this past month. it was a slow month for ministry since almost all my contacts are now either not in Tokyo or working/searching for jobs 24/7. it's like staying at your university over the summer after freshman year of college- no one's really around.

positive side:
we had an amazing Valentine's party for our girls, i got to catch up on a ton of skype appointments, re-read the Chronicles of Narnia (i swear- every time i read those i get something new out of them....aaaah so good), watch 8 Ghibli movies in Japanese to practice my Japanese listening as well as become more knowledgable of Japanese pop culture (for the record, all of these are fantastic and you should watch them, but watch them in Japanese with English subtitles: Kiki's Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo, Ocean Waves, Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Tales from Earthsea and my FAVORITE, Whisper of the Heart), started putting my New Year's resolution of cooking into practice, and my friend Brandon from USC came to visit for a couple days. i was also still doing the homeless church ministry and Student Impact's dance ministry. we've been having prayer meetings every morning and planning a lot for our Student Conference coming up in 2 weeks as well as Shinkan- the start of the new school year, a crazy busy time when we're trying to have as many outreaches, parties and ways to meet new freshmen students as possible. you see, new freshmen are not yet attached to any club or activity that takes up their whole life, therefore they are wonderful because they have that Thing that eludes all other university students in Japan: TIME. that is, they have Time before they get plugged into a club that literally eats away every moment. so Shinkan is the most important, crazy, busy, rewarding time of the year in terms of ministry.
the guys gave us roses and made us heart pancakes for Valentine's Day! it was so sweet!
Valentine's Day party with some of our girls!

we've also started a couple new projects- we want to start doing some sort of homeless ministry for the homeless people around Waseda University, our main campus. last friday we made a ton of spagetti and put it in 12 take out boxes and gave them out to homeless people in a huge park near campus, along with a book in Japanese about truth and God's love. we're hoping if we keep coming back they will start to recognize us and want to talk to us more. ideally we'd love to see it grow into something we can invite both Christian and non-Christian students to help with, as a way to connect our Christian and non-Christian contacts as well as give them opportunity to see God's love in action. the other vision project is Waseda Unity. some missionaries from YWAM also work at Waseda, and we've been talking with them about ways to unify the Christians on campus. they hosted a Waseda Unity Night, a time of prayer, worship and fellowship- it was so cool! 6 different ministries were represented, and it was awesome to see peoples' passion for revival at Waseda. apparently the kanji for Waseda mean something along the lines of "first harvest" in Japanese, which i don't think is a coincidence. also, KGK, a campus ministry that is found on a ton of universities in Japan, was STARTED at Waseda. God is moving at Waseda U. and we want to use Waseda Unity as a way to strengthen our influence on campus-- after all, it's not about CCC or YWAM or KGK or IHOP or any other ministry, it's about GOD and GOD's work and how can we best serve Him where He's already working. we've gotten to have a couple potluck dinner/hangouts at the YWAM house and talk a bit more about vision for more Unity things, that will hopefully take into effect soon. as a STINT team, we've also started working on starting up our own homeless ministry around Waseda University. last friday we made food and passed it out to homeless people who live in a big park near Waseda along with books about God's love and truth. hopefully they will start to recognize us and want to talk to us more in the future.
Waseda Unity Night worship time
one of the areas homeless people live in the park

i've been kind of frustrated lately though- i've been feeling really exhausted the past couple weeks, and i feel like this whole month i've just felt so lazy and unorganized and unmotivated and undisciplined. it's not a fun place to be if you've ever been there, especially when i'm here specifically for an intense 10 months of go go go ministry, where we've got to make every best use of our time or else we may miss an opportunity, where every missed opportunity could be a lost opportunity...it's easy to feel like you aren't doing enough, especially when not a lot is really happening and you wonder if it's because of something you're not doing.

last night we saw Voyage of the Dawn Treader as a team. while it did really frustrate me how much they deviated from the book, they did add a couple things that i really did love. one was the way they did the scene where Lucy says the spell to make her more beautiful, and she realizes it's not what she wanted and Aslan comes to her and tells her not to doubt her worth. it actually made me cry. i never cry in movies. seriously. but it really hit me- probably because i doubt my beauty and worth a lot. but lately God's just been showing me how much He loves me and how that's enough. that He thinks i'm beautiful because He made me. that He's equipped me exactly how i'm supposed to be equipped. and after all, we can do ALL things in Christ. i've been reading a book lately called Captivating that talks about how Satan was jealous of Eve and when he told her to eat the apple he created doubt- he made her doubt that she was good enough without the knowledge from the tree. since then, Satan's been tormenting women ever since with self-doubt and insecurity. unfortunately, he's good at it. he knows exactly the things to say to take away our confidence. but i've started to realize that the times i'm most insecure are the times i'm focusing more on myself than God. so my goal is to, simply put, focus on God more than myself.

i watched a video a week or two ago that made me cry 4 times (that's seriously a big deal): John Lynch at Biola University- he spoke exactly what i needed to hear apparently. i highly encourage you to watch it- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7azfoonNqpc

prayer requests:
- energy
- discipline/focus
- for our Student Conference that is coming up in 2 weeks -- we will be training 113 students on growing their relationship with God and sharing their faith, but we also have a few non-Christian students coming. please pray that their eyes would be opened to the Truth!
- for more of God's vision for what He wants us to do for the new semester

A Message for All My Valentines

2011-02-13T07:24:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentine’s Day. Most people do not know how the holiday was started, or why, but it has become a day to celebrate love. Today I want to share some things I have learned about love in my life- I will be giving this talk later today at a Valentine's party we are hosting for all our girl students (which is why it's in pretty simple language- it's all still true though!) I figured I might as well share it with anyone who wants to read it. This is mostly for women though- sorry guys. You can still read it though :)

I started wanting a boyfriend when I was very young. I always had very pretty friends growing up and they always had boyfriends. One friend got a boyfriend when she was 11 years old. I always felt like I was not pretty enough for a boy to like me. The world tells women that they are not pretty enough. Magazines tell us that we need certain clothes or makeup or hairstyles to be pretty. But this is wrong.

God, the Creator of the Universe and the world, created you to be beautiful. He thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world, and He loves you more than you could ever imagine. God does not make mistakes, and He created you to be exact the way you are. He created women to show His beauty to the world. The world has taught us to think we are not beautiful, and that if we think we are beautiful, that is a bad thing.

I have been reading a book called Captivating. It explains that when God created the first woman, Eve, she was incredibly beautiful. Satan was very jealous of Eve’s beauty, and so he made her think she was not good enough as she was. Satan told her to eat the apple so she could have more knowledge. This was when doubt entered the world. Since then, Satan has been telling women they are not good enough because he knows that women are beautiful and powerful. Satan uses doubt to make us not as powerful. But God has made us beautiful and powerful, and through God, we can do anything. (Mark 9:23)

Valentine’s Day can be a sad holiday for girls who do not have a boyfriend. But a boyfriend does not always make you happy. Until 2 years ago, I thought I needed a boyfriend to be happy. I was insecure of my looks and thought a boyfriend would help me know I was attractive. So I looked for boyfriends. I tried to make boys like me. I had 4 boyfriends, and any time I did not have a boyfriend, I would go to parties and flirt with boys so they would like me. But none of these guys satisfied me. I realized that it is because none of these guys were the one God wants me to be with. But, even if you have a husband, that love will not be perfect. Only God’s love is perfect. God’s love is better than any love a person can give. God loves us all the time, even when we make mistakes. Even when we turn away from God, He loves us. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you more. He does not just dai suki ("really like" in Japanese- they use this phrase instead of "love") you, He aishiteru ("love") you, He loves you, and wants you to love him too. God wants us to be with Him.

So why do we not feel this love? It is because we have sin. Sin separates us from God so we cannot experience God’s love fully. But because God love us so much, He showed us the perfect example of love. The Bible tells us, “For God so LOVED the world He gave his only Son, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” – John 3:16.

Are you experiencing true love in your life right now? Are you satisfied? If you do not know God’s love, or feel that you are not experiencing God’s love, I encourage you to talk with someone who knows more, or read through the books of John and 1 John in the Bible.

For now, I love all of you, and more importantly, God loves you! Happy Valentine's Day!

TWO WEEKS IN THAILAND: Bangkok Dangerous

2011-02-08T22:31:00.001-08:00

first of all, if anyone gets the Nicholas Cage reference of Bangkok Dangerous, good for you.

second, i'm sitting in my bed with a cup of tea. it's about 3 pm Tokyo time, Wednesday February 9, 2011. i only know this because my computer clock told me. my concept of time and place is still rather skewed at the moment. traveling in another country does that to a person i suppose.

disclaimer: this post may be very rambling and all over the place- i cannot guarantee that any of it will actually make much chronological (or grammatical) sense, but i promise to do my best.

as you can tell, i'm back from Thailand. it was a whirlwind of a trip. it was only two weeks, but returning to Tokyo felt like i was coming back from the Crusades or something. it's good though. i've very glad to be home. well, where do i start? our main purpose in going to Thailand was for our All Asia STINT Midyear Conference. the conference was held in Cha'am, Thailand, about 2 hours away from Bangkok, and our hotel was right on the beach. one of the coolest things about conference was simply the fact that we got to worship, pray and fellowship with about 150 other STINTers serving God in East Asia. we got to see a lot of people we'd met at briefing back in August, as well as meet a ton of new people and hear their stories of how God's working in East Asia. i think something that's been challenging this past semester has been not comparing myself or ministry in Japan to ministry in East Asia. hearing tons of stories of how hundreds of people are coming to Christ over there is exciting, but at the same time it's easy to look at Japan and think, "what are we doing wrong? why isn't Japan like East Asia?" during conference, God really fixed my perspective. He showed me that yes, Japan's soil is much harder than East Asia, but looking at the fruit East Asia is producing should give me hope that someday Japan too can be like that. and until then, we need to just keep sending more and more workers to Japan to till the soil so that it's just as soft as East Asia's.

during the day we actually had a good amount of free time- in the mornings we had some worship time, a speaker and quiet time (which i always did in the garden facing the beach), then another speaker, then free time in the afternoons (most of which was either spent having team meetings debriefing our past semester, or getting Thai massages, or hanging out on the beach), then dinner, then more worship and another speaker after dinner.

SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF MIDYEAR CONFERENCE:

- the awesome speakers we had to challenge us, encourage us, and help us focus more on God
- the second night we went to a night market w/ our 2 coaches, John and Kristen Whitmore, and the East Asia team from ASU. it was pretty cool to walk around and take in the sights, smells and souvenirs. i got some pad thai, and a few souvenirs for friends and family
- worship time on the beach the last night of conference with several other STINT teams
- swimming in the water at midnight with glow-in-the-dark algae (not even kidding- http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/aprilholladay/2005-11-21-glowing-sea-algae_x.htm)
- really cheap Thai massages on the beach (actually, really cheap everything)
- hanging out with all the East Asia STINTers, hearing their stories and making new friends
Team Japan with some of our favorite East Asia STINTers
Tokyo team with our coaches, John and Kristen Whitmore

REVELATION:
so most of the reason we have CCC Staff coaches is to encourage us, to grow us, to help us through ministry frustrations, to guide us, etc. our sending region, PSW (pacific southwest) sent John and Kristen Whitmore to the conference to lead our team times and meet with us one-on-one so we can really process this past semester of ministry. i was having my one-on-one with Kristen, and she asked me a pretty generic question like "how has ministry been for you?" or something, and i went into this whole long thing that started out talking about what was frustrating about ministry, then what i loved about ministry, then suddenly it turned into me spewing out all this stuff about what i love about Japan and how there's still so much work to be done and every time i go back to the States i feel like there's more to do, and how i've made so many awesome relationships here that i don't want to lose, and how there are so many people interested in learning about God i don't want to give up on, and how God's doing awesome things here and i want to be a part of it, and all the sudden my words faltered and i realized- I WANT TO RE STINT NEXT YEAR. and as soon as the words escaped my lips, my heart leaped in a very similar fashion to when God first called me to STINT and my discipler Trina said "do you want to go Japan?" it freaked me out a bit, to be honest. i got all like bubbly and giggly and my arms felt lighter than they should be, and i was just like "ahhhh oh goodness i want to re-STINT!" and i put my head on the table. Kristen was cracking up- she could see what i couldn't during my whole Japan spiel: she saw that i wanted to re-STINT, i just hadn't realized it yet.

so yeah. as of now, i am officially applying to re-STINT and come back to Tokyo in the fall for another year. please be praying that if this is God's will, He will open doors and provide all my needs, as i will have to come home in the summer and re-raise all my support. please also be praying that if this is NOT God's will, that He would close the doors immediately and grant me vision for what He wants me to do next year.

the morning of the 27th, we said our goodbyes to all our old and new friends, and took vans back to Bangkok. there we spent the day exploring with the East Asia STINTers from San Luis Obispo (SLO) which was really fun. the next day was our first on our own as a Tokyo Team- it was a little weird not to be surrounded by tons of other STINTers and staff. my team and i took a riverboat to the Grand Palace- it was quite grand indeed. really big, really shiny. i have to hand it to the Thai- they're incredibly dedicated to detail.

we spent most of the afternoon wandering around and taking pictures, then headed back to the hotel to shower and change before going to the train station to take a night train to Chiang Mai. unfortunately, we didn't realize that we needed to make reservations for the night train ahead of time...thankfully God provided a night bus for us, and everything was taken care of, but it was a bit scary at first not knowing if we would be able to get to Chiang Mai and if not, where we were going to stay in Bangkok. while the boys were figuring all this out though, i was able to have an awesome 30 minute conversation with one of the ladies working at the train station, share some of why i'm a Christian and even give her a Thai Bible! then she showed it to a coworker, and he looked through it and said to me, "but i'm Thai. i'm Buddhist." and i said "that's ok you can still read it- it's just something that has completely changed my life and given me hope and purpose; would you like one?" and he said yes so i gave him one. please be praying for Jake (left) and P'ko (right), that they would read their Bibles and find truth and God's love. took a 9 hour bus ride to Chiang Mai, where we were hoping to do some sort of volunteer work of some sort at an orphanage. however, by that point, about half of our team was sick with what we called the Tokyo Team Plague, but was some sort of crazy stomach virus/fever/thing that struck suddenly and ended up lasting anywhere between 2 and 10 days (2 for Michelle and AJ, 10 for Henry and Ariel- actually i'm not even sure if they're fully recovered yet). anyway, we figured playing with children or manual labor would probably not be the best thing for the sickies, so we used our days at Chiang Mai as a rest and recovery period. we were able to share the gospel with some Buddhist monks/ex-monks at a temple we visited, and give them Bibles, so God was still working in Chiang Mai even though it wasn't quite the way we had planned (like we can really plan anything...) the next day was chill, i got a Thai massage and hung out at Starbucks for awhile catching up on my journal and things, then that night we all (well, those not sick) went to Chiang Mai's Sunday Night Market with our new friend Pare, whom some of the other guys met at a museum earlier that day. we were all hoping to be able to share the Gospel with her- turned out she's a Christian and involved with CCC at her university in Thailand! it was so encouraging to meet another sister in Thailand! the next day we had lunch with her, then she came with me, AJ, Kat and Esther to Tiger Kingdom, a tiger reservation where you can pet full grown tigers and play with baby ones! it was SO COOL!

that night we packed up and once again headed to the night bus for a 9 hour return trip to Bangkok. we arrived about 6 am- unfortunately we were unable to check into our rooms; we WERE able to get 2 rooms for the sickies, and the rest of us took a taxi to a floating market, one of the top things to do in Bangkok. took about an hour and a half to get to, but it was pretty sweet. we took a boat on the canals, stopped at a coconut sugar farm, floated around and looked at souvenirs. very touristy, but still fun. that afternoon we got some lunch, laid out by the pool, i got a pedicure (and got to give my pedicurist a Thai Bible!), then that night Henry, AJ and i went and saw Tron in 3D IMAX- it was pretty cool, not gonna lie. the next morning we got up early and took a taxi south to Pattaya, our last big stop in Thailand. our hotel was once again, right next to the beach, which was lovely. Mike, AJ, Michelle, Dave and i took a ferry to a small island called Koh Larn, where we hung out on the beach and played on the rocks for awhile. that night we dressed up and had dinner at the hotel, then called an early night because the next morning we had to wake up about 5:30 am to pack and check out before going to Flight of the Gibbon: ziplining in the rainforest! it was amazing! we spent about 3 hours ziplining 23 platforms, then they provided us with lunch. after that we got to explore a huge zoo, and i got to ride an elephant!
all of us on the last platform
me + elephant

we got back to the hotel about 2:30 pm, where the hotel was nice enough to let us shower and change, then since people were still sick, we decided it would just be better to go ahead and head back to Bangkok and hang out at the airport. unfortunately we then spent 12 hours in Bangkok International Airport, but it was alright. then, a 7 hour flight later, and we were back home in lovely, clean, safe, but cold, Tokyo. Thailand was amazing, and adventurous, and eye-opening, but as i sit here typing, snuggled under my blankets in my bed with a cup of hot tea next to me, i can't help but feel that it IS nice to be home.

sorry this post was so ridiculously long. if you made it to the end, well done. sadly enough, i didn't write nearly as much as i could have. but if you want more details, just email or skype me!

something to consider: i always ask you to pray for Japan. but after spending 2 weeks in Thailand, i've seen some of the suffering of the Thai people. it is a sad and broken nation. it has the highest rate of sex trafficking in the world. young girls are literally stolen off the streets every day and sold into a life of slavery. poverty, disease and depression run rampant. please continue to pray for Japan, but also pray for other Asian countries like Thailand- they need God's love too!

TO THAILAND AND BEYOND!

2011-01-21T01:23:00.000-08:00

tomorrow we leave for our Asia STINT Midyear Conference in sunny, lovely, wonderful THAILAND.

i can't even express how excited i am. not only for warm weather, beach, riding elephants, ziplining through rainforest and holding baby tigers, but to hang out with STINTers from all over Asia for a week, hear their stories, encourage one another and let God grow our vision for Asia. our conference is from January 22-28th, then the 28th- february 4th the Tokyo team will be helping at an orphanage in Chang Mai, then spending a couple days in Bangkok and Pataya, riding elephants and enjoying some much needed R&R. please be praying for our safety and for God to really grow us and speak to us these next 2 weeks.

i can't believe we're leaving tomorrow. because that means i've come to almost the halfway point of my STINT year. and that's just weird. i've been here 4 months already? everything seems so normal, yet still enjoyable. perhaps i'm still in the "honeymoon phase"? or perhaps i adjust to things easily. either way, this year has seemed to go by very quickly.

i've already begun to think about coming back for another year. it's just that ministry here in Japan is such a slow process, and i've met so many amazing people that i want to continue to grow relationships with and share more about God's love with them. also, with 4 re-STINTers on our team, i've realized the importance of having semi-experienced people on the team. i would be completely lost without the knowledge and wisdom of our re-STINTers Ariel, Lyndsey, Mike and AJ. it also seems like every time i come to Japan then go back to the States, i feel like my work is unfinished here. that there is still so much to do. like the song goes, "Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city...." of course, the song is talking about God, not me, but i know God has awesome plans for Tokyo and Japan, and if He lets me, i want to be a part of it in any way i can. please be praying for wisdom and discernment for my plans next year- i need to decide by the end of February whether i will re-STINT, as well as if i decide to go to Dallas Theological Seminary in the fall (i deferred a year to come to Japan). or God might have something totally different in mind for me. only He knows at this point.

so. january. we didn't really know what to expect with ministry because january is basically Study Month for the students because their finals are at the end of january- beginning of february. and college students ACTUALLY STUDY in Japan. weird, right? our finals week at USC was the time that i actually hung out with people who i hadn't seen all semester. (i did study some too, i swear) anyway, we were a bit worried that not many students would be able to meet with us this month because of all their papers and exams; however, in the past two weeks i've been able to meet up with students almost constantly. there were a couple times where i had no appointments, but even during those times i was still able to meet some new students which was awesome.

HIGHLIGHTS OF JANUARY:
- so i was hanging out w/ my friend Claudine in the SILS (School of International Liberal Studies) lounge, and a friend of hers (Miko) came over to say hi, met me, then immediately pulled me over to her table and introduced me to 3 of her friends (Yuuri, Natalie and Manami). since then, i've been able to hang out with those 4 girls on 3 separate occasions, and get into some great conversations about God and worldviews with them.
- shared the gospel with Jane and Tao through The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, Jane became a Christian, and since then has already brought 2 friends to church
- got to share the Gospel in two different ways with Iphie
- had 2 amazing conversations with Misaki, a girl from Hitotsubashi, about good vs. evil, absolute truth, our need for God and God's love for all of us
- January 14th was Mitsuyori, a combined East and West Student Impact meeting that happens once a month, where all our students from all over Tokyo come together for prayer, worship and fellowship. it was so cool to see all of our students come together and see how God's working in this city
- January 16th i hung out with my language partner Manami for 5 hours! and.....she came to church with me! i've been trying to bring her to church since i arrived in Japan and so i was so excited that she came with me!
- January 18th i was able to meet with Mai, a girl i met on Summer Project -- we met for coffee, caught up on life, and i got to share with her why i'm in Japan and how God called me here. we're going to meet up again when i get back from Thailand
- January 20th was crazy but awesome. met with Aya for lunch and she brought a new friend for us to meet, Saiko, who is really into dance and musicals and wants to come to Holy Spirit! so does Aya actually! praise God! that afternoon i hung out with Miko, Natalie, Yuuri and Manami and talked about their views of God/gods. and the effect our views of a Creator have on our lives and purpose in life.
- Saori: so i met Saori at a Paddy (Waseda English Club) meeting. when i introduced myself to her, she was like "so i had noticed you earlier and i like your character." that was kind of awesome to hear. so we started talking and it was just really fun, so we planned to meet and hang out again on the 20th. since i lost my cell phone almost 2 weeks ago, i've had to schedule almost all my appointments through Facebook- i never thought i'd say this, but i am so thankful for Facebook. without it, i wouldn't have been able to meet up with so many students in the past couple weeks. anyway, we'd been messaging where/ when we'd meet. right before i left for campus yesterday, she messaged me saying "let's meet at the Shinjuku station south exit at 6 pm." in my rush i forgot to respond and confirm. so i get to Shinjuku at 6 and wait an hour. she doesn't show up. i don't have a phone, so i'm thinking "God, what should i do?" so i saw a girl near me and asked if she spoke English. she said yes. i asked if she had an iphone. she said yes. i explained my situation of how i could only contact my friend through Facebook, so this random stranger let me use her iphone- i send Saori a message saying "hey i'm here where are you?" but before i could wait for a reply the girl had to leave (and take her phone of course). so i waited some more. then i saw someone else with an iphone and asked them the same thing. she had replied saying "oh i thought you weren't going since you didn't reply. i will leave now and get there at 8," but before i could reply the person had to leave and take their phone so i couldn't reply (again...) so i waited some more. then i asked someone else with an iphone if i could use it. (i got very good at saying in Japanese: "excuse me, my friend is coming here but i do not have a cell phone, do you have an iphone? do you have Facebook? may i message my friend?" it all sounded really awkward but they understood, and the awkwardness probably made them feel sorry for me...) she had sent another message saying "are you not there anymore?" i replied as fast as i could saying "no i am i am!" then i returned the phone and waited some more. then unexpectedly 2 Student Impact students saw me and came over to wait with me, which was very nice of them. it got to be about 8:40 pm, and they'd waited with me about 20-30 minutes, and i said "i think i'm going to go home- i give up. i can't do anything else." JUST THEN, i heard "KIMI!" and Saori was there! THEN we hung out at Starbucks and i was able to share exactly why i was in Japan, what Student Impact does and why, the whole gospel, and my whole testimony. she's not only interested in learning more about Student Impact, she wants to come to Free (our gospel choir)! it was such an encouraging, amazing time- i think perhaps God was teaching me a) patience, b) how to pray desperately for 2 1/2 hours and c) that just in case i was getting too comfortable relying on Facebook, i would be reminded of my need for relying on God.
- today myself, Kat and Esther had lunch with Iphie and were able to share a lot about God as our Father, and we got to talk a lot about our views of homosexuality, sin, and sex, and bring a ton of the gospel and our testimonies into the conversation. after that, Michelle, Lyndsey and i had coffee with Jane and her friend Puppet, and Michelle was able to go through the gospel in great detail with Puppet.

God has blessed us so much this month! please be praying for all these students- for their hearts to be opened and for us to not lose contact with them while they are on Spring Break for 2 months!

ON TO THAILAND!

GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS!!!

2011-01-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

so in my last post i said how last night we had dinner at Ariel's with two students, Jane and Tao, and how both seemed so close to accepting Christ. last night myself, Lyndsey, Ariel and Mike prayed for Jane and Tao after they left, that Jane would be touched by her experience at church today.

well, Jane went to church today with another student, Jean,
and guess what?

SHE ACCEPTED CHRIST!!!!!!!!

her facebook status read: "Spiritual Birthday!!! Reborn!!! I become a CHRISTIAN today!!!==>Jan. 9 !!! Isn't Jan.9 like Jane ???! haha:D have a blessed night everyone!!!"

all i have to say is PRAISE GOD.

He is working in this country, and it's such a blessing to be a part of it. this is why i'm here. this is my purpose.

the exciting thing is, you don't have to go to another country to share the Gospel and see the miracle of someone becoming a Christian. our mission field is wherever we are.

please be praying for Jane's spiritual growth, for protection from attacks of the enemy, and for her friend Tao that she too will come to know the Lord soon!

to quote Jane, "have a blessed night everyone!!!"

ANNNNNND WE'RE BACK!

2011-01-08T07:49:00.000-08:00

thursday was our first day back on campus after winter break.

i woke up late, and with a horrible stomach ache, not a great way to start the morning. but i still made it to campus and ate lunch with the girl i'm pseudo-discipling, Sehee. it was good to reconnect with her after the break and encourage her- she's entering finals and is really stressed, so i challenged her not to let this be a time when she pushes God to the side, but a time where she would focus on God even more. so often, when we are really busy and stressed we allow our own "things we HAVE to do" take precedent over God; however, these are the times when we need God the MOST. we need to rely on HIS strength and give our anxieties and worries to Him.

after meeting with Sehee, i had about 1 1/2 hours to kill before my next appointment, so i called other team members to see what they were doing. everyone seemed to be meeting with people though, so i went to the international studies building (SILS) and sat on a bench outside the lounge (a huge room with tables that is a fabulous place to meet people). i got an text from my 2:30 appointment that she wanted to meet at Building 11 (all the buildings at Waseda U. are numbered); however, i had no idea which building was Building 11. i saw a Japanese girl sitting on the bench next to me, so i went over to her and asked if she spoke English. she said yes (which is always really exciting- most Japanese are really humble so they always say "no" even if they can) and so i asked her which was Building 11 and she said "this one." well, that was convenient. she asked if i was new, i explained what i was doing and we got into a good conversation. she was waiting for a friend who called her and pushed the meeting back til 2:30- i said "wow i'm meeting a friend at 2:30 too!" so she said "oh well do you want to get a snack and talk until then?" and i said "sure!" in my head thinking "OMG GOD YOU ARE AWESOME." it was so cool to make a new friend, and she has lots of friends in the dance clubs at Waseda so she's going to introduce me.

at 2:30 we parted ways and i met with Claudine, a girl from the Philippines i met at English club. she's Catholic, but we've never really had a chance to really sit down and talk, so it was great to just catch up with her and see what's going on in her life, and i was able to share with her a good deal of my testimony and what God's done in my life, and encourage her in that because she and i seem to be very similar. like me, she's also a perfectionist, but just hasn't quite learned how to surrender that to God, so i encouraged her to trust God and allow Him to take control of her life and situations. we were about to leave when she saw a friend of hers, so she introduced me to her friend Miko, who then dragged me over to introduce me to two of her friends, which was very exciting. i love meeting new students, especially students who want to introduce me to other students.

friday was equally awesome. i got two last minute appointments with students, so that's always exciting. i started off the day with a lunch appointment with Kaori. she, Michelle and i went to a restaurant off campus and had an awesome time catching up, but also getting to talk about Christmas and spiritual things. before Christmas i had given her a Christian manga called The Search, in Japanese manga style so it's interesting to Japanese, about a guy who goes in search of meaning and finds Jesus (it explains the Four Spiritual Laws as well), so we got to talk about that a bit and she said she was going to re-read it so we could discuss it further, so that was encouraging. after lunch Michelle and i met with Iphie, a Chinese student who we've been able to share the Gospel with on several occasions and has even gone to church a couple times. she took us to a cute cafe and we got into a fabulous conversation about non-profits and humanitarian organizations- her dream is to maybe start her own, so we were able to talk a lot about love and her heart for people. then Michelle had to leave, but Iphie and i started talking about Christmas and i was able share the Gospel again with her- she said she thought Christmas was a more romantic holiday than Valentine's so i shared about how i agreed because it's God showing His indescribable love for us through Jesus, that God's love is beyond any human love and how He just wants to share that with us. she and i are going to meet up again soon :)

friday night there was a welcome back party at Paddy, the Waseda English Club, so AJ, Ariel and i went together. it was wonderful to be able to see so many people again. i not only got to grow relationships with people i'd already met, i set up a lunch appointment for next week and made 3 new friends- Watabe, William and Saori! it was even cooler, because AJ and i had both been feeling really tired and kind of under the weather, and really didn't want to go, and both of us realized (separately) that there must be a reason we didn't want to go so badly, and that probably meant that we SHOULD go, so we did, and God gave us so many blessings!

today i slept in, which was lovely. then i decided to clean the stove, which looked like it hadn't been cleaned for a century, and i'm pretty sure it actually hasn't. have you ever cleaned a stove like that? there was black stuff in every nook and cranny. there was petrified grease and food behind, underneath, even inside the stove. i used up almost an entire roll of paper towels. i had to take the top off to clean the inside, and even then there was so much stuff that just wouldn't come off, no matter how long i soaked it in cleaner. i finally just had to give up and be content that it was at least cleaner than before. to some this may seem like a normal household chore, but after i was finished, God revealed to me the similarities between cleaning a disgusting stove and our hearts. we can sense when our hearts are dirty. so we get out our trusty cleaner and try to spray it down. but it doesn't work. we realize the dried grease and oil is tougher and deeper than we thought. so we start scrubbing. we scrub and scrub, and it helps, but there's still so much that won't come off. so what do we do? do we give up, and allow ourselves to be content with a half-finished job? or do we surrender our heart to Jesus and let HIM take over? if we look into our hearts, we realize that there is way more grime than we expected, and the deeper we go, the more there is, and the harder to clean. we can't do it by ourselves, no matter how hard we try. we have to let Jesus do it for us. He is the ONLY one who can make our hearts truly clean and pure. you know that wonderful feeling when you clean something really dirty and then you step back and it's all squeaky clean and shiny? that's how God wants our hearts to be, and that's the feeling we will feel if we let Jesus do the work for us. in the book/ Bible study Breaking Free by Beth Moore, she talks about how there are many ancient foundations for our chains, and we've got to allow God to break those so we can truly be free in Christ. lately, i've been praying a lot that the Lord would reveal to me anything that is preventing me from experiencing Him fully. i've also started praying more for humility, which is a scary prayer because, well, God doesn't really ever seem to hesitate to give humility when i ask for it. He knows i can always use more. but i like to be independent, i like to think i'm strong, that i can do things on my own. so often in a situation God will say, "kimi let Me help you" and i'll be like "God- i got it! i know what i'm doing!" and He'll sigh and love me and let me try to do it my way, and when the dust clears from the explosion of my mistakes He'll pick me up and say, "now will you trust Me?" i love God- He never says "I told you so." but seriously- have you ever done that with God? why do we have such a tendency to think we're right, that we know what we're doing, that we can clean our own hearts, when we really have no idea? if you think about it, that's kind of the underlying cause of every problem in the world. C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity that Pride is the ultimate sin, the sin that leads to all other sins. may God save us from our pride and humble us enough that we do HIS work and look for HIS guidance, which is completely perfect and will always lead us in triumphal procession!

in other news, tonight Ariel and Mike hosted me, Lyndsey and 2 Chinese students, Jane and Tao, both who are interested in learning more about God. Ariel made Chinese food and we had an awesome dinner and hang out time. again, tonight, i was feeling not that great and really not wanting to go out, and i was like, "why am i feeling like this? there's no reason!" so i was like "ok i'm going!" and i am SO glad i did! because on the way out the door, i decided to randomly grab The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe dvd and bring it. so after dinner we all watched it together. and when the movie was over, the next bus didn't come for another hour, so the girls were basically stuck hanging out with us til their bus came, so we then had an hour long conversation about how Aslan represents Jesus and got to really explain the gospel through the movie. it was so cool because we started out by asking what was their favorite part of the movie, and both said their favorite scene was when Aslan dies and then comes back to life! and we got to share that Jesus actually DID THAT! and i asked how would you feel if you were Edmund, and Tao said she'd feel undeserving, and so we got to share that we are all actually like Edmunds, and we are all undeserving, and that's the beauty of grace, because God's love saves us from death, God's love conquers death, and God's love allows us to live free of sin. and they got it! and it was so cool! and they are so close to accepting Christ! please be praying for their hearts!

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- humility :)
- for Claudine and Sehee's growth in their relationships with God
- for my new friends Miko, Natalie, Watabe, William and Saori, that i will have the opportunity to meet with them more in the future
- for Iphie and Kaori's hearts to be open to the Gospel
- for Jane and Tao to allow Jesus to enter their hearts
- for the students as they enter into exams-- that they would not be stressed and that God would open their schedules and allow us time to meet together before we go to Thailand

COUNTDOWN TO THAILAND AND MIDYEAR CONFERENCE: 14 DAYS!!!

IT'S 2011????

2011-01-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM TOKYO!

not gonna lie, it was kind of weird to be celebrating 17 hours ahead of most of my friends. we had fun though- we all went out to dinner, then to Yokohama (about 1 1/2 hours away) for ice skating and fireworks. there is a huge ferris wheel at an amusement park called Cosmo World that has 60 spokes and so that's how they do the countdown, then there was a big fireworks show. me and my roommates all slept in today which was glorious, and i made chocolate chip muffins. tonight we're all going to watch a movie and have some relaxing time. it's so nice to finally have a few days of vacation after such a crazy month.

i can hardly believe it's already january though. that means i only have 6 months left in japan. it also means i only have about a month and a half to decide if i'm going to re-stint, or go to Dallas Theological Seminary. not that those are my only two options for next year, but the deadlines for both are in february. which is a little scary. please be praying God gives me discernment in my decision.

does anyone do New Year's Resolutions anymore? i've done it every year, and at the end of the year i'm always a bit discouraged because i definitely haven't followed all my resolutions. but this year, this year i feel will be different. of course, i say that every year too. but whether or not i keep all of the resolutions, i'm writing them in this blog as a way of motivation and accountability- please feel free to send me a facebook message, or an email, or a skype at any point and say "so kimi how ya doin with those resolutions?" so. here they are.

KIMI'S 2011 RESOLUTIONS: these are in no particular order

1. spend 30 minutes simply listening to God
2. daily 30+ minutes quiet time
3. learn how to have an attitude of continual prayer
4. do some form of exercise every day for at least 30 minutes
5. blog and journal more consistently
6. finish Hearing God by Dallas Willard
7. re-read Breaking Free
8. cut down on caffeine intake
9. eat more sushi and less McDonald's
10. finish my Bible verse wall in my room
11. budget my money better
12. choose patience and grace over frustration in every situation
13. focus more on God than myself
14. be more edifying and encouraging with my words and actions
15. eat more fruits and vegetables
16. make friends with the vegetable lady near our apartment, and the fruit seller near the Student Center
17. learn to make Japanese food (including sushi!)
18. learn how to say my testimony in Japanese
19. study Japanese for at lease 30 minutes every day
20. become familiar with more Japanese pop music and movies
21. watch Totoro and other Ghibli movies

and, for those of you who like pictures, here are some pictures from the past week:

Secret Santa STINT party- half pajamas/ half fancy

me, lyndsey, michelle and ariel with some students at church Christmas Eve Eve

Happy Birthday Jesus cake lyndsey made for Christmas

singing Christmas carols at the Yoyogi Park homeless church

praying with Tanaka-san, one of the homeless women

me, lyndsey and michelle in front of a traditional Japanese New Year arrangement

ice skating New Year's Eve

the ferris wheel on New Year's Eve

i wish you all a wonderful 2011! may it be filled with love, laughter and surprises!

Happy Merry Christmas from Japan

2010-12-23T07:50:00.000-08:00

so it's Christmas Eve here in Tokyo...i'm sitting here in the living room listening to A Muppet Christmas Carol while Michelle makes chili. our Japanese-style Christmas tree (aka, a tiny one) is all decorated behind me, in front of me are the stockings my mother made us and shipped...hopefully Santa fills them tomorrow. today i got a huge package from my aunt and uncle- a present (which i am refraining to open til tomorrow- aren't you proud?) and candy canes and a gigantic can of homemade holiday chex mix- it was such a wonderful taste of home. but it also reminded me that, well, i'm not home for Christmas. to be honest, as much as we try to make it feel like Christmas here, it doesn't really feel like it. i've lived in the same house my whole life, i've always been with family for Christmas, we always do the same traditions...without them, it doesn't really feel the same. but at the same time, as a friend of mine reminded me last night, if i were home, i wouldn't have the opportunities to serve God that i'm getting here- mainly, the homeless church, our STINT Christmas party, and getting to bring students to church and share the Gospel with them during the holiday. if i were home, i'd just be sitting by the fire eating cookies and waiting in anticipation to open presents. tonight Lyndsey, Michelle and i are having dinner together, then i am meeting 2 students to go to a Christmas Eve service at church. in the morning, we are waking up at 5 am to go serve the homeless at the Yoyogi Park homeless church and sing Christmas carols (in Japanese- eek!), then going ice skating, then hanging out with students who aren't doing anything on Christmas and watching movies and making food together. so basically, this Christmas will definitely be more productive in terms of serving God than my Christmases normally are, considering every other Christmas my focus has been on me, and my presents, and my desire for more cookies and hot chocolate, whereas this year my focus is finally starting to align more on God.

i mean, what is Christmas really about? in Japan, it's about cake and KFC. in America, to be honest, it's become mostly about presents and decorations. i was listening to a podcast by Tim Chaddick from Reality LA today on the True Meaning of Christmas. the true meaning? GOD LOVES US. GOD. the Creator of the Universe. He loves YOU. and ME. And He wants to have a relationship with YOU. and ME. He loves us so much that in order for us to even comprehend even a bit of what His love looks like, He became a man, He sent his Son Jesus, who has always existed as God the Son, to Earth in the most lowly and humble way, as a baby with no place to be born other than a manger in a stable. He then lived a perfect life and died in the most gruesome, horrific and painful way possible, on the cross, taking on all of our sins, and then resurrecting in 3 days so that sin and death would be destroyed forever. so why do we celebrate Christmas? BECAUSE GOD LOVES US! how crazy is that? the Christmas story doesn't end with Jesus being born. and it doesn't end with Jesus dying, or even being resurrected. it's always being told, because God is constantly loving us, if only we would accept His gift of love and follow Him. so....who are you going to tell? how are you going to share the Christmas story to your friends, your family, to strangers? how are you going to show God's love to the world today?

because Christmas isn't about giving or receiving. it is first and foremost about God's love for us, and how He showed it to us through Jesus Christ. i pray that the Lord would bless you with an amazing Christmas, but that it wouldn't be amazing because of the presents or festivities, but because you would be able to forget about the food, the wrapping, the presents, the preparations, the family feuds, and just for a second pause to focus on the amazingness that is our God, our Father, and our Creator who loves us more than we could ever hope to imagine.

here are some pictures from the past week: a Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

the Homeless church in Yoyogi Park- about 100 people show up every week

Making food bags for the homeless church

Our STINT Christmas Party: MCs talking to the audience

one of the students, Haruka, sharing her testimony of how she became a Christian last Christmas

STINT Christmas skit

David thinking he'll get a date for Christmas....

David in despair about not having a girlfriend or date for Christmas. Enter Henry, and Henry's "Linus Moment"

Lyndsey, myself, and 2 students- Kanae and Yui

3 different spiritual conversations during the party- i know taking pictures of them is kind of sketchy but i was just so excited!

Tokyo STINT Team 2010, otherwise known as the Special Team Infiltration Ninja Taskforce

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

Christmas Countdown

2010-12-14T06:01:00.000-08:00

so i realized today-

there are only 10 DAYS until Christmas. 10 DAYS. where did December go??? to be honest, even though there have been Christmas lights on the trees here since November 1 (since they don't celebrate Thanksgiving), it hasn't really felt much like Christmas. maybe there's just a lack of Christmas spirit here since the only things Christmas is about here is KFC, cake and presents. and you thought materialism in America was bad. the majority of Japan has no idea why they celebrate Christmas. but at the same time, they really have no idea why they celebrate most of the holidays they do, nor do they really know why they have the traditions they do. granted, many Americans don't know what Christmas trees or candy canes symbolize (for the record, evergreen trees have been said to not only represent the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden but also God's everlasting love for us, and for candy canes, the shape is the same as a shepherd's crook, the color white represents Christ's purity, the red the blood he shed, and the presence of three red stripes the Holy Trinity) but at least most have a general basis for why we celebrate Christmas. the encouraging thing about Japan is that Christmas is a fantastic time to do outreach. but there's also a strong sense of urgency during Christmastime because so many people commit suicide around this time because they are so depressed and without hope.

SOME SCARY STATISTICS OF JAPAN:
76% of teenagers feel like their lives have no purpose
11% of teenagers wish they had never been born
32,845 people committed suicide last year

approximately 1 person commits suicide every 15 minutes -- in the time it took you to drink a cup of coffee this morning, someone took their life. please pray for the healing of this country.

sorry to pull the serious card, but hopefully you now have a better sense of why i'm here and what my purpose is in being in Japan. these are my people, and it breaks my heart that so many of them have no hope, no purpose, and no reason to live.

in other news, our Christmas concert last Saturday went amazingly well. we had a joint concert of Student Impact's Gospel choir (Free) and our dance team (Holy Spirit). Saturday we spent from 11 am- 5:15 pm rehearsing, preparing, decorating and praying, then we had 15 minutes to get ready and it was time to start the show! it went really smoothly, and it was so fun to perform again in front of an audience, and really just dance for God and worship Him through dance. the coolest part of the night- one of the guys who sings in Free decided to accept Christ! he had been singing Gospel music for awhile but it never really clicked until he heard one of the other guys' testimonies. praise God! here are a few photos from the concert:
the hula girls- hopefully someone took a video i can put up soon, but for now, we danced to the song "My Saving Grace" by Hillsong - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCkfu4nzBtk
skit about Jesus by some of the Student Impact guys
combined Sign and Jazz dance
the entire Free and Holy Spirit ministries

it was an awesome and rewarding experience, but not gonna lie, it was a lot of work. however, this is also a rather busy week for the STINTers. this Saturday we're having our own Christmas outreach party for all our friends we've met on campus. we're preparing dinner, a Christmas song, games and a short musical about the true meaning of Christmas, complete with songs and dances. i'm excited, but also nervous about all the preparations, especially because we aren't sure how many students will come. please pray that many, many students come and are able to hear and understand the Gospel! we only have 2 more days on campus to get the word out, so that ups the pressure a bit too.

in fact, we only have 5 more days of campus until Christmas. that in itself puts a ton of urgency into how i spend my day on campus. not too much other news for now, just preparing frantically for our party!

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- for energy and strength: we're all really run down, and it's hard to be motivated to press on
- for spiritual protection: the Enemy has been working hard this month to specifically discourage and weigh down each one of us in different ways- he knows this is an important month, and is trying to hinder us in every way he can
- for our Christmas party: that the Lord would lead many many students to us, and they would hear the Gospel
- for boldness in sharing the Gospel this month
- for kanae and yui: lyndsey and i haven't been able to meet them for the past few weeks, and it's getting frustrating that we still haven't been able to have Bible study with them
- for yuki and kaori: that we'd be able to share the Gospel with them and their hearts would be open
- for Hitotsubashi University: we're still struggling to see exactly what God wants us to do there; it's also a very hard campus and we have to fight off discouragement and other spiritual attacks every time we are there

God bless you this Christmas season! ps it's not too late to decide to send me presents in the form of puppies, chocolate or anything else ;)

In Christ alone...

2010-12-06T08:31:00.001-08:00

December is crazy. it really needs to slow down. even though it's only been a week, i feel like i've been just frantically running to catch up with life. it is basically our biggest ministry month because of Christmas. the Japanese celebrate Christmas but they have no idea what it means- every time i ask a student what they do on Christmas or why Christmas is special or why do they think they celebrate it, i've gotten answers of "i don't know" or "it's a couples holiday so we spend it with our boyfriends/girlfriends" or "we eat Christmas cake and KFC" (not kidding). SOOO it's a wonderful opportunity for us to say "well hey can i tell you the real meaning of Christmas?" Student Impact is have 3 Outreach parties/concerts in the next 2 weeks. this Saturday our gospel choir and our dance team are joining forces for a big Christmas outreach concert- between last friday night and saturday morning Holy Spirit (the dance team- i know, it's confusing) practiced 7 hours. my muscles were rather sore. on top of that, the STINTers are having our own Christmas outreach party on the 18th, so we've been furiously planning for that as well. myself and Kat are in charge of the "Heart of Christmas" skit/performance/musical, so that's been a lot of work. on top of that, of course we've had our every day ministry on campus, meeting with students, etc. it just has felt like everything has fallen like an avalanche all at once.

it's been a bit frustrating to always feel so behind, because one thing i really wanted to do in November was set aside time every day just to sit and listen to God, to be fully in His presence with no distractions, nothing, just resting in His presence and listening. Mother Teresa once said, "Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart." i regret to say i did not do this every day. i became very frustrated with myself that i was putting other things in my life before time with God. a song that really spoke to my heart was "Something's Gotta Change" by Josh Wilson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DewDmDm3YqM

i realized i had been putting God on my To-Do List. that time with God was simply one more thing to do in the day. i remembered something i'd heard over a year ago, that we shouldn't be making God a number on our to-do list, but making Him the TITLE of our to- do list. that everything on our to-do list would fall under the title of God's Plan. God's To-Do List, not Kimi's. it was good to remember this, but i started feeling guilty about it, to be honest, guilty that i had been putting my things i "needed" to do before time with God. we were having worship time as a team, and we were singing "In Christ Alone" and i just started crying. i heard Jesus saying "kimi- look what i did for you. I love you. I love you. that is enough." if you've never heard "In Christ Alone," it's absolutely amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcpLZgCwcEE&feature=fvsr

i was going to just put my favorite lyrics, and then realized i couldn't choose, so here are the lyrics: they are the Truth, and through Christ we have FREEDOM. pretty exciting, yeah?

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life?s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
?Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

last night henry said something i needed to hear:
there is nothing you can do to make God love you more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you less.

may we never forget that.

TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY

2010-12-02T06:40:00.001-08:00

Oh hey, December. where the heck did you come from? have i really been in Japan two whole months???

seriously, this is crazy. it's hard to believe i may only have 7 months left in this country; which, don't get me wrong, is quite a long time, but is definitely shorter than it seems.

AWESOME MINISTRY MOMENTS OF NOVEMBER:
- Kanae accepting Christ and her friend Yui wanting to do Bible study with us
- Sehee wanting to meet up every week to study the Bible and learn how to share the Gospel with her friends
- Ngoc wanting to meet up and getting to reconnect with her after 2 years, being able to share the Gospel with her and talking about deep issues and her wanting to start coming to English Lunch every Tuesday at Hitotsubashi
- at least 1-2 people hearing the Gospel every day
- going to the homeless church in Yoyogi Park, getting to talk to 3 homeless women and seeing one of them give the pastor a yennie

REFLECTIONS ON JAPANESE CULTURE:
Things I Love but Also Don't...
1. TRAINS: love the convenience, hate the price, the insane crowdedness and the ease in which i take the train going the opposite direction to where i want to go half the time
this is 12 am train on a typical Saturday night in Shinjuku.

2. EVERYTHING IS CUTE: love that everything in Japan is adorable and/or pretty, hate that it makes me buy things i don't really need because the cuteness is overwhelming. i'd put pictures of the cuteness, but i'm not sure you'd be able to handle it.
3. SUSHI: love that it's so amazing, hate that i'm forever spoiled and will now never be content with American sushi
4. SWEETS: love that they are all SO FREAKING DELICIOUS, hate that they are making me heavier and my wallet lighter
5. BIKING: love that i get exercise, and every morning we ride past a preschool and sometimes we see the little asian babies being carted around in big rolling laundry hamper like things and it's too adorable to even describe, hate that i have near-death experiences at least once a day-- oh and today i had my first legit crash when another biker turned into me. woo.
6. JAPANESE TEA CEREMONIES: love the sweets, love the tradition, hate the tea and the sitting on my knees. my old roommate amanda from SC is now living in Saitama. she invited me to a tea ceremony- neither of us knew what to expect. turned out to be an all day thing and we went to 4 ceremonies back-to-back-to-back-to-back. i felt i was about to burst of macha (green tea).
THINGS GOD HAS BEEN TEACHING ME THIS MONTH:

this month has been kind of a rollercoaster in all ways possible- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. but the cool thing is through it all, God has remained constant. i had my ups and downs, in ministry and my own personal life, but God was always there, and is always there, and always will be there for me, walking beside me, picking me up when i fall, dancing with me when i am full of joy.

as part of our training, each of us had to prepare a "Three Minute Testimony." basically, we had to write out our story of how God's changed us and try and present it in 3 minutes. this is not easy. there are so many things God has done in my life- it was hard to know where to start. i decided to focus on how God's been breaking me of perfectionism, because it's very relatable to the Japanese and a huge part of me learning how to surrender to God. while writing out my testimony, i reflected back on everything God's done for me. it's crazy to think of where i used to be, and where i am now. who i used to be and who i am now. i used to find my identity in my perfectionism and in my abilities. now i find my identity in Christ. it took a semester of pushing God out of my life for me to realize how much i really needed Him, a semester of trying to find satisfaction in everything of this world for me to realize that the only thing that can truly fill my empty heart is God's love. the only way i can truly be perfect is not through what i do, but what Jesus has already done for me, by living a perfect life on earth and taking on all my sin and dying on the cross and then conquering sin and death 3 days later and ascending into heaven. i've said i was a Christian my whole life, but i didn't start really living like it til December 2007. i thought i was, but i was living for me, my life was in the center and God got added in where He fit into my life. that's not a Christian life. a Christian life is one where God is in the center, where you cast off your old life and dare to step into the amazing abundant life God has for you, where you tear up your plans and rely solely on God's. but even though i know this now, i still have my moments where i want to revert back to my old ways. even after i started focusing on God as the center of my life, it was a slow process of learning how to trust God more and more. to be honest, even a year or two ago, if you'd told me that i'd be a missionary in Japan i'd probably just laugh. and to be honest, if God had called me to Japan a year ago, i may not have said yes. in fact, i probably would have said no, because i still remember saying i'd never work for Campus Crusade. thankfully God has brought me to a place now where i'm no longer making huge plans and expecting to control my future, and thankfully God's plans are always better than mine anyway so i don't need to plan anymore. anyway, i would challenge you that if you've never really taken the time to reflect on all the ways God has grown you over the years, it's worth doing, and it's worth praising Him about. and most importantly, it's worth sharing with others. our testimonies are quite possibly the most powerful tools the Lord equips us with to share His love. He reveals His story through our stories- never hold back from sharing God's story.

God's also been showing me that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). the girls have been going through character studies of people in the Bible, and the more i read the more i realize that every single person God used in the Bible was not nearly equipped for the tasks He gave them. for example, David- he was a skinny kid with a slingshot, how on earth was he going to defeat Goliath? with God's power. my friend joel once told me, "Don't let what you don't have disqualify you from the work that God is calling you to...God likes to use the broken crayons." and it's so true! this month there have been times when i've felt like i'm not qualified enough to be a missionary, not good enough, not wise enough, etc. well, of course i'm not by myself. but God always uses the broken crayons so that when He uses us for his masterpiece, it is not our glory that shines through, but HIS.

one more thing i've been learning is that faith is like a muscle- if we do not continue to build it, it will atrophy. how do we build faith? by leaving our comfort zones and stepping out into the unknown, by leaving the path we think we want and trusting God to know the path that is right for us. a question posed to us in Bible study was:
what would look different in your life if you had a greater hope in God? God has been challenging me a lot lately to take more risks, to think of risks not as risks but as reality, to pray bigger and to allow myself to have a bigger vision of Him and His plans for me. i challenge you to do the same.

what is holding you back from experiencing the abundant hope and joy God has for you? my natural reaction to problems is to immediately try and figure out how to fix it, but i've realized i need to go IMMEDIATELY to God instead of rely on myself, because when i try to rely on myself, i worry, and joy and worry cannot happen simultaneously. an acronym for JOY we learned was:
J esus
O thers
Y ourself

when we put Jesus first, others second, and ourselves last, all other things fall into place.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- for a movement to explode on both Waseda University and Hitotsubashi University
- for strong male leaders in Student Impact
- for Kanae's growth as a new believer, for her friend Yui to also trust her life to Christ
- for wisdom and discernment in who to continue to meet up with and that the Spirit would lead us to new contacts
- for team unity, for supernatural energy and strength (December is a crazy ministry month)
- for God's provision while the exchange rate is still so terrible

"Now may the God of peace...equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us taht which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." ~ Hebrews 13:12

KANSAI WHIRLWIND

2010-11-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

November 18-21 all the STINTers took a roadtrip with 5 of the JCCC staff to Kyoto and Osaka, otherwise known as the Kansai area. it was really awesome to get out of Tokyo for a little bit, even 4 days. i had never been anywhere else in Japan, so it was also really exciting to go to 2 of Japan's most famous and beautiful cities. it was a perfect time to go, since the leaves were at the peak of their autumn hues. Kyoto's about 6-7 hours from Tokyo, so most of Thursday was spent in the car. we did stop at "the best Starbucks in the world" - it had a view of the ocean, mountains, a river and Mt. Fuji. it was really gorgeous. if only clouds hadn't covered Mt. Fuji... view of the mountains from Starbucks
first team picture of the trip

once we got to Kyoto, our first stop was the Rokuon-ji Temple, or the Golden Pavilion. it was absolutely gorgeous, but also extremely sobering knowing that even the most beautiful things of this world are, in the end, still of this world, and constructed to worship false gods. it makes me sad that shrines and temples characterize Japan, that the country is known for images such as this one: just like i desire to change Hollywood's reputation, i want to change Japan's. i don't want people to see Japan as a country of apathy, of pointless religious traditions, of shrines and temples to false gods, i want people to see Japan and say, "That country is on fire for Jesus." the temple closed at 5 pm, so we then met up with one of the Kyoto staff and prayer walked on a university they go to often, then went to the place we'd be staying and had dinner. there are currently only 2 Kyoto staff and 1 STINTer, and they are all Korean. please pray for more workers in Kyoto, especially for Japanese staff to commit to working in Kyoto- apparently there are over 1 million college students in Kyoto who need to hear the Gospel! friday morning we went to Arashiyama, a famous mountain in Kyoto across the Oi River. we only had about 30 minutes to take pictures and get souveniers, but it was still gorgeous. Arashiyama
Arashiyama Bridge
me and michelle on Arashiyama Bridge

After Arashiyama, we were off to Osaka. as soon as we arrived, we split up into 3 groups to go to 3 different campuses and do outreach with the Osaka STINTers and staff. it was really cool to see what the Lord is doing on the different Osaka universities and encourage the Osaka CCC. that night we went to their weekly meeting, Acts, and got to meet the students and have a great time of worship, prayer and fellowship. Saturday was our training/sightseeing day- after some training on effective ways of sharing the Gospel, we went to Osaka Castle, famous for its formidable defenses. we decided to take a picture scaling the castle wall. we then got yelled at by an old Japanese man and had to run away. but it was so worth it.

after Osaka Castle, we went to the Osaka Expo/Park to have fellowship time with the Osaka STINTers and staff. then we went to Dotonbori Street, famous for shopping, restaurants, a giant crab & the “running man." we ate foods famous in Osaka, including takoyaki and okonomiyaki and bought some souvenirs (it is Japanese custom to bring back edible gifts for friends whenever you travel- seriously).
the Tokyo & Osaka STINTers on a bridge famous for guys picking up girls, with the Running Man in the background.

Sunday we went to church and headed home to Tokyo shortly after! it was a crazy whirlwind of a trip, and i wish we'd been able to spend more time sightseeing, but it was so wonderful to how the Lord is working in other cities, to be encouraged and to encourage the other STINTers and staff, and visit some beautiful places!

A Kimi Brown Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T07:38:00.000-08:00

so this year is my first year to not have Thanksgiving either with my family in Dallas or my surrogate family in Los Angeles. when i went to USC, i never went home for Thanksgiving, but have had Thanksgiving dinner and spend the night at my friend Sean's house for the past 4 years. it really became a tradition- his house truly became my home away from home while i was at SC, and his mom even introduced me as her surrogate daughter. it was always so wonderful to be surrounded by good home cooking and tons of family members (especially because my own family is pretty small). this year, as i am in Tokyo, i knew it would be different, and possibly very challenging.

but it was actually surprisingly wonderful. of course, Japan doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving so we still had a day of campus ministry before we could celebrate the holiday. and it was SUCH an encouraging day. i met up with a girl named Sehee, a first year Christian Korean student i had met at English Club a few weeks ago. we had only talked briefly -our conversation was literally
me: "i like your cross necklace"
Sehee: "thanks! i'm a Christian"
me: "really?? me too!!!"

and then we exchanged phone numbers and that was about it. so i knew very little about her and wanted to know more, so on a whim i texted her and asked if she wanted to meet for lunch and she immediately responded with Yes! it was such an amazing time, because i got to hear a lot of her life and share a good deal of my testimony with her, and encourage her to find a church and accountability. in many ways she's where i was until only a few years ago, feeling like if she doesn't read her Bible or go to church she is a "bad Christian" -- i told her that is not the way God intends for us to live our lives, He wants us to desire to know him so much that we eagerly seek his Word and church community, so that worship/learning more about God is an exciting opportunity, not a chore. i was able to explain what the body of Christ truly is, how we cannot grow unless we allow others to come into our lives and share our struggles and burdens, and how important community is to growth in our relationship with God. we were not created to be alone. then she told me, "i can see why God brought you to Japan, and i know God brought you here today to share this with me." it was possibly the most encouraging thing i've heard so far in Japan. the other encouraging thing- i'm basically going to start being her discipler; she wants to meet up every week and study the Bible and learn how to share the Gospel. i cannot express how excited i am to see how God uses her at Waseda University. after meeting with her, lyndsey and i met with Yumi, a girl i'd met a few weeks ago but hadn't seen in awhile. couldn't spend too much time with her, but it was wonderful to grow our friendship, introduce her to lydnsey and hopefully we'll be able to meet again soon.

after campus, we rushed home to begin preparations for our Thanksgiving dinner party. i wish i could have been with my friends and family back in the states (i did in fact have to change the music when Michael Buble's "Home" came on, but other than that i was fine), but it was really cool to celebrate Thanksgiving with good friends in a different country. we had a potluck dinner of chicken cor don bleu, chicken/stuffing/veggie casserole, mashed potatoes, rolls, kabocha soup (Japanese pumpkin), minestrone soup, daikon (Japanese vegetable) and pumpkin pie. the pumpkin pie was an adventure. since Japan doesn't do Thanksgiving, finding pumpkin pie ingredients is rather difficult. i spent about 2 hours online looking up international food stores, then it took about 2 hours to go to 2 different stores, but in the end, the quest was successful and i felt very accomplished. pie tins in Japan are about 1/3 the size of American pie pans, so i ended up having to make 3 pies, and bake them in our microwave/oven thing, but in the end it all worked out and turned out nicely. we ate lots of food, had great fellowship with all the PSW STINTers, 2 of the JCCC staff, and 2 students from the States, and watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. fun fellowshipping
my pride and joy

Friday felt like it should be a holiday, but we had another day of campus. it seemed like everyone had a really hard time getting there, to the point that it felt like spiritual attack. michelle had a migraine, esther took a day off, ariel got stopped by the police, mike was late, henry was late, david was on a trip with ICU high school ministry...needless to say, we were praying hard against spiritual attack and that the Lord would show us what he wanted us to do. lyndsey and i met with Kanae, who accept Christ a couple weeks ago, and Yui, who has not yet accepted but is interested in studying the Bible. we were really nervous about how the meeting would go because they had invited a friend, so we couldn't really talk much about the Gospel because the friend wasn't too interested. but we ended up spending the whole day with them (4 hours) and still got to talk about some deep things that related to our faith, but also just grow our relationships with them so that was cool. we're going to start Bible study with them next Friday, and they want to come to church with us! so that was exciting.

today was wonderful. got to sleep in for the first time in awhile, then went to Cam's house for Thanksgiving dinner #2. it was huge- Cam and Kristen (his wife) have 4 children, then there were 9 STINTers (ariel couldn't make it), 6 JCCC staff, 2 more kids, 1 baby and a Christian teacher of one of Cam's kids. it was so cool to be in a house that looked like an American house (not a Japanese apartment), surrounded by wonderful American people and American food. if i couldn't be with my family or Sean's, there's no one else i'd rather be with than the people i was with tonight. i felt like my heart was just full of warm fuzzies the whole night.

STINTers, minus Mike and Ariel, plus Baby Selah, one of the JCCC Staff's daughters

food, glorious food!

in other news, tomorrow morning (my time) USC plays Notre Dame. unfortunately i won't be watching it because i will be at a Japanese tea ceremony with my roommate from junior year, but i'm really stoked about the tea ceremony (and i can watch the game online later). after that, my life gets exponentially more busy. JCCC will be having 4 different Christmas Outreach parties this month, 2 of which i will be extremely involved in, the other 2 i really just need to go to and support if they need it.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- for Kanae: her growth as a new believer
- for Yui: that the Lord would grow her desire to learn about Him and she would accept Christ
- for Sehee: that the Lord would show her how to really live her life for Him
- for me: for focus, discipline and time to get everything done this week i need to do
- most importantly, that i would rely on God's strength and not get too focused on details and the little things that i take my focus off God and his work

YENNIES

2010-11-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

i apologize.
i've been slacking on updates. i definitely need more discipline. but i work best under pressure i suppose. tomorrow we leave for a roadtrip to Kyoto and Osaka to visit other Student Impact ministries for a few days, so i figured i should probably finish this post before then. which means i probably won't sleep much tonight. not sure if i could anyway- it suddenly decided to become winter here, and i'm definitely not prepared for the cold. i still have yet to buy a thick comforter, thick curtains and gasoline for our space heater. as cold as it is, i know i need to stop being a wimp because it's only going to get worse from here. somehow i lost both a winter hat and 1 glove today though, which made for a very unfortunate, cold bike ride home. but enough weather woes. on to the update!

these past couple weeks have been pretty awesome in terms of ministry. every day at least 1-2 people are hearing the Gospel, and many of them have never met a Christian or heard of Jesus, so we're getting to sow a lot of seeds. i've gotten to really start establishing relationships/friendships with the people i met in October, and everyone on our team has already grown noticeably in terms of boldness and confidence in sharing the Gospel with students and jumping on every opportunity we can to share. a lot of us have been sick lately though. i was sick for about a week, which was a bit frustrating. but it's a chance to just rely on God even more for strength, energy and focus. and it made me realize that even if i'm not physically well, God can still use me. Thursday Lyndsey and i met with Yuki and Kaori again- we had been praying we'd be able to share the Gospel but we ended up not having much time with them, so that was a bit frustrating but the encouraging thing is that every time we meet with them, they are always the ones to ask to meet up again. so hopefully next week we can share the Gospel with them.

Friday. ohhh Friday was such a glorious day. Lyndsey and i met with Yui and Kanae, whom we'd met the very first day at Waseda. we had not been able to meet with them since, so it had been a month since we'd last seen them and we weren't really expecting much- we had prayed we'd be able to share the Gospel if it was God's will, but we weren't counting on it. but God had other ideas. we ended up being able to share a good deal of our testimonies, our vision of God, and the full Gospel with both girls. they were both really interested and it was the smoothest, easiest Gospel presentation we've ever done. in our Japanese booklets there is a drawing of 2 circles- the left circle shows you as the center and Christ outside the circle, and the right circle shows Christ as the center of your life and you underneath. both girls said their lives looked like the left circle but they wanted to be in the right one. then Yui had to go to work, but we kept talking to Kanae. we made sure to go over everything really carefully and told her if she wanted, she could receive Christ right then and asked if that was what she wanted-- and she said yes! she prayed to receive Christ! i cannot even express how wonderful it was. statistically it takes a Japanese person about 5-7 years to accept the Gospel from the first time they've heard it, so this is SUCH a miracle! second, she's the first student to accept Christ in the 6 weeks i've been here (even though God's blessed us with many opportunities to share the Gospel so far, it's mostly been planting seeds) and thirdly, she's the first student i've ever personally seen accept the Gospel- that is, whom i've shared with and they've accepted it! please pray for Kanae- for protection from the enemy and that God would reveal himself to her in very real ways this week. also please pray for Yui- she is very interested in learning more about the Bible (once again, a huge rarity in Japan) so please pray for the Bible study Lyndsey and i are starting with the 2 girls and that Yui would also accept Christ into her life soon.

Saturday was also pretty legit. i woke up at 5 am to go to a huge park called Yoyogi Park with Mike and AJ. you might be asking yourself, what on earth is worth waking up that early? i shall tell you. a homeless church. every Saturday at 7 am a pastor from Tokyo Baptist Church preaches a sermon in the park for the homeless who live around there. we heard about it from some YWAM people who help out, and we decided to check it out. it was so wonderful. we stuff about 120 food bags for the homeless and distributed them. we sang hymns with them and prayed with them, and 7 people raised their hands to say they wanted to receive Christ. and we broke into small groups and i had the opportunity of meeting 3 of the most lovely, gentle women i've ever met. i was able to speak with the oldest for awhile (through a translator). she was so sweet and adorable- i just wanted to give her a hug. one of the most heart-wrenching moments had to do with yennies. let me explain yennies. yennies are 1 yen coins (yen + penny = yenny). Japanese coins have different weights- the heaviest are the most valuable. yennies weigh almost nothing, and they feel and look like fake money. they're rather worthless. but after all the rest of the homeless had left, this tiny, adorable old Japanese woman slipped a yennie into the pastor's hand and quietly went her own way. it pierced my heart that i thought of these things as so worthless, and yet to this woman, it was everything she had, and she gave it to the church. let's just say it was really convicting.

the gorgeous trees in Yoyogi Park- you can see a couple of the homeless in the background

Sunday morning i went to Roppongi and watched the USC vs. Arizona game at Legends Sports Bar with the Tokyo USC Alumni Club- it was amazing to be able to watch a game with USC fans/alums on a real tv for the first time since i've been here. it's been so lame to have to watch the games on my computer attempting in vain to hold in my squeals and cheers so as not to wake up my roommates. i got totally lost trying to find the bar though- thankfully a nice American guy saw me struggling to understand the directions of a Japanese police officer, came up and said "sweetie are you looking for Legends?" (i guess my ridiculous USC attire gave it away) and pointed me in the right direction. ironically he turned out to be a Bruin. guess they aren't so bad sometimes. finally made it and had a blast- USC won, so that helped make the experience enjoyable.

Tuesday was our first day at Hitotsubashi University, having finally been given the green light to do ministry there with one of the JCCC staff. it was so wonderful to be back on that campus. we had English lunch, met some new students, and prayer walked for awhile. i'm so excited to see what God does at that university. today Lyndsey and i were able to give Kanae a Japanese Bible and Yui a "Manga Messiah" - the life of Jesus told in the style of a Japanese comic book. we were also able to share the Gospel with 2 girls we met randomly, which was encouraging. now i really should try and sleep a couple hours before we leave for Kyoto!

Prayer walking at Hitotsubashi University...

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- energy/strength
- full health recovery
- for Kanae, Yui, Yuki, Kaori and all the other students we've met so far
- safety as we travel to and from Kyoto and Osaka this weekend

"All things are possible for those who believe." ~ Mark 9:23

ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY

2010-10-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my One Month Anniversary, though for some reason, Blogger seems to think it's October 28th when it's November 1st...so confused. anyway, one month ago today, i left behind my friends, my family, and life as i knew it to serve the Lord for one year in Tokyo, Japan. i celebrated by going to Hitotsubashi (my favorite campus from Summer Project) with Mike, meeting up with Yasutomo, a student i met during Summer Project 2 summers ago, then prayer walking around the campus, mostly praying that God would open the way for us to do ministry there. it was awesome, but apparently it wore me out because i fell asleep on the train ride home and missed Mitaka, woke up 3 stops later and had to take another train home. lesson for the day: never fall asleep on a train by yourself. to be honest, i still can't believe i'm living here. i adapt to things so quickly, sometimes they don't quite sink in. while it hasn't happened yet, i have warned my roommates that there may yet still come a day where i wake up and scream "OH MY GOSH I'M IN JAPAN AHHHHHHHH!" for now, i'm content to wake up and simply sit in awe of the fact that i seriously have the best job in the world. i realize i have a bit of catching up to do- i haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks! which doesn't sound like much i suppose, but if i wait too long my brain starts forgetting things. to all of you who actually read this, thanks for bearing with me.

last Tuesday morning (what is it with Tuesdays?) we were all pretty slow to start the day. i'd somehow fallen asleep on the train even while listening to my "pump up" playlist on my ipod, and it seemed like all our feet were dragging/reluctant to do anything on campus. but thankfully we had an hour of communal prayer. and God totally fired us up. perhaps we wake up so exhausted so we rely on Him more and He can show us how refreshing He is. the Thursday prior, Lyndsey and i randomly met a girl named Aya- we talked with her and 2 of her friends for a really long time, and ended up exchanging contact info with Aya. Monday night i realized i still hadn't contacted her so i sent her a text that just said we'd be on campus during the week if she was free to meet up at all. she texted me back immediately, saying "how about lunch tomorrow?" so Tuesday after prayer Lyndsey and i met Aya for lunch. she introduced us to 3 more of her friends (Reina, Hikari and Nana) and we all ate together- they all spoke english extremely well and were really fun to talk to. then her friends had to leave and it was me, Lyndsey and Aya again. we started talking about different hobbies and activities we'd done growing up and in college, and from there we were able to explain about Campus Crusade/ Student Impact. then Aya asked if everyone in America is Christian (a common idea in Japan). it naturally coalesced into a full fledged spiritual conversation, and Aya said she believed in God but hadn't ever really thought about it, so we were then able to share the entire gospel with her and a good deal of our testimonies. she seemed interested in talking more which was exciting. after lunch we ran into Yuki and Kaori, 2 girls Michelle and i had met our 2nd day of campus. Kaori had to go to class but we ended up spending the rest of the day with Yuki, learning more about each other and sharing some about Student Impact with her. Tuesday night Waseda's English Club hosted a Halloween party, so Mike, AJ, Kat, Esther and i all went. the party was a ton of fun, with delicious food and really entertaining performances, and we were able to meet lots of new students and build relationships. Mike was Bruce Lee (though everyone thought he was Jackie Chan), AJ was Harry Potter and Kat, Esther and i were all nerds (b/c it was easy and we are cheap).

Wednesday was our "Day with the Lord," or as i call it, my All-day Date with Jesus. i slept in and then took the train to Koenji, where we stayed on Summer Project 2 summers ago. it was like coming home again. the day before it had been freezing and rainy, but the day dawned bright and clear, which was such a blessing, because i was able to go to my favorite park and enjoy the day, and then spend the rest of my day at an adorable coffee shop called Precious Coffee Moments-
not to sound like a dork but this area of trees really reminded me of Lothlorien from Lord of the Rings...
caramel coffee, pastry and a Shane Claiborne book on prayer- a perfect combination.

while at the park, i sat on a rock by the water under the Japanese maples and listened to worship music, prayed, read some Psalms and journaled. this was my vantage point from the rock:

2 songs that really spoke to me while looking out over the water were "Mystery" by Phil Wickham (to hear it, go to this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_hu6avqwvw&feature=related) and "Savior, Please" by Josh Wilson (to hear it, go to this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=002Q4gBUsy8

these songs really express where my heart has been many times. i have a tendency to focus on DOING things, that maybe if i read my Bible more, or more books about God (like Hearing God, by Dallas Willard- great book by the way) then maybe i will grow closer to God. but God reminded me during this time that it's NOT about what i do, it's about what Jesus has already DONE for me. it's not about knowing more ABOUT God, it's about learning how to KNOW God. i left everything i knew to follow God and serve Him in Japan. but in reality, the more i learn about God, the more i learn how little i really know Him. i realized so much of my prayer life is simply talking to God and not enough listening. i realized that seeing God as Father is pretty easy for me, but i so often forget the crazy awesomeness that He is the Creator of the entire Universe, a thousand lifetimes are a day to Him, and in the heavens thousands upon thousands of angels sing "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty" without ceasing. i have come to realize that my view of God is way too small. we must never allow ourselves to become comfortable with our view of God. He's too big for that. He's too... there isn't even an adjective to properly describe Him. S.M. Lockridge delivered a 6 1/2 minute oration about God in 1976- it's still the best description i've ever seen: http://across2u.com/ThatsMyKing.html

while watching the ducks swim around in the pond, i started wondering why i was so fascinated with them. i mean, they're ducks. they aren't that exciting. they're kinda funny looking. and Oregon's mascot is the Ducks, and i despise them with a passion. but regardless, i was sitting there mesmerized by the ducks, and i was said,"um God? are You trying to tell me something through the ducks?" and He said, "kimi, why aren't you more like a duck? ducklings simply follow their mothers to the water. they don't complain their feet are dirty, or the path to the pond is too long. they don't test the temperature of the water first before they get in, they just dive in without a second thought. they simply follow." ...do i really need to explain the metaphor? how many times do i do things like that when God tells me something? i say i trust Him, but then i question, i test, i get bogged down by little details, when all He wants is for me to simply follow, because His way is infinitely (and eternally) better than i could ever imagine. may we all be more like ducks (the animal, not the Oregon mascot).

i've already written a ton, so i'll try and wrap it up. Thursday i ran into Iphie, a girl i'd met at the Halloween party and ended up being able to share the gospel with her, then Friday she met with Ariel and Mike and they got to share a ton with her as well which was pretty sweet to see her interest not only in meeting with STINTers but also hearing about Christianity. Friday Michelle and i met with Kaori for lunch and got to talk a lot about love and her own religious background- we're praying that this week we'll be able to share the gospel with her and Yuki. Friday night i met with my friend Manami who i met on my first summer project 3 summers ago- she agreed to be my language partner to help me with Japanese so i will be meeting with her every week. she's been very exposed to Christianity but is not a Christian.

PRAYER REQUESTS:
- for God to open the hearts of Kaori, Yuki, Iphie, Aya, Nana, Hikari, Reina, and Manami
- for the boldness and leadership of the Christian students at Waseda and in Student Impact
- that the Lord would open opportunities for us to go to Hitotsubashi University to also do ministry
- for energy and strength
- for patience, wisdom and discernment in ministry
- that the Lord would show us how to know him more every day, and show us how to love others with His love

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." ~ 2 Corinthians 9:8