I know.
It's 11 days into 2015.
And I'm just now posting my Dreams and Goals.
But note, number 2 goal of 2015 is to not procrastinate...starting...now.
A few of these are the same as last year, but it just means they still apply to this year. I keep them because they are just as important as they were a year ago, and I want to keep them in 2015 as well.
Mind:
1. Finish all the books I've started
2. Not procrastinate, stay more organized
3. Take 4 IBS seminary classes this summer
4. Do something creative at least once a month - painting, drawing, dancing, etc.
5. Waste less time on social media and spend more time with real people
Body:
6. Exercise: Run or bike at least 30 minutes 6 days a week
7. Diet: Eat more fruits and veggies and less sugar/processed foods, drink less coffee
8. Surf more
9. 15 hikes in 2015
10. Paddle in the Na Wahine O Ke Kai 2015 (outrigger race from Molokai to Oahu)
Spirit:
11. Maintain better relationships with friends and family
12. Read the Bible in a year and memorize one Scripture verse a week
13. Get more involved in my Oahu church
14. Spend at least 30 minutes a day with the Lord, journal every day, keep my Sabbath
15. Pray more for others and be more intentional in asking how I can pray for people
"Do not dare not to dare," says Aslan in The Horse and His Boy.
I want to dare more in 2015. I want to risk more, because life is about taking risks, taking chances, taking opportunities and making the most of them. I want to make the most of 2015.
"Home is now behind you, the world is ahead," says Gandalf to Bilbo Baggins.
The world is ahead.
Let's go and live it!
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
2014 in Pictures...
Fall 2013- Spring 2014 Hawaii Cru Staff Team
Photos from Hawaii Cru Spring Retreat
Upperclassmen Womens Bible Study
First time to hike Pillboxes
Freshmen Bible study
A theme of 2014...
My 2013-2014 disciplees
A new adventure- IMUA ONE BLADE: Joining a Hawaiian Outrigger Canoe Team
Novice B's first race
First medal
First gold medal - and becoming the first team to defeat the Waikiki Beach Girls in over 10 years
Novice B's, aka "Killah Bees"
EPIC JAPAN SUMMER PROJECT 2014
FALL 2014...A NEW YEAR, A NEW STAFF TEAM
Hawaii Cru Fall Getaway
Aoi, new sister in Christ
Hawaii Cru Christmas Party
AND.........THIS GUY. God put him in my life at the end of 2013,
and he pursued me all through 2014.
To everyone who stood by me, encouraged me, and lifted me up in 2014...Thank you for teaching me what it looks like to love, and be loved.
Here's to 2015, to a year of love, joy and adventure!
Friday, January 2, 2015
Grampa
It's taken me five months to write this blog post.
I still probably haven't fully processed everything, and maybe that will take more time than I would like. But it has to start somewhere.
July 26, 2014, my Grampa died peacefully in his sleep.
As hard as I tried to get home to see him to say goodbye, I know he didn't want me to see him that way. I found out he only had about a month to live while I was in Japan leading the Epic Japan Summer Project. Every day I prayed that I would make it home in time to see him one last time. I had even changed my flight from Japan so I would come back a week early, but he passed away during our debrief in Tokyo. I told him to wait for me...but my mom said he didn't want me to see him so sick. Momma was with him only about an hour before he passed away...he didn't even want her to be in the room. Sneaky Grampa to the last.
Being home was hard in August, and it's had it's moments this Christmas as well. I was reminded of him any time I walked past his room and he wasn't there, any time I walked outside to the back yard and saw his bench, where he spent so many hours sitting in the sun, any time I saw his empty shelf in the bathroom that used to have the sign "Grampa's Shelf" so he would remember not to use my things...it was hard not seeing presents under the Christmas tree for him, not hearing his laughter or seeing him put Christmas ribbons on his head like headbands, not finding acorn sculptures around the house...
Robert "Rube" Ritsuro Hosokawa, September 15, 1918 ~ July 26, 2014.
The man who survived the Japanese internment camps, who was a great journalist, Phi Beta Kappa...the man who was kicked out of Japanese school at age 10, who taught me how to be sassy, how to play poker and hunt for golf balls, who taught me songs about the Bearded Lady and how to cuss in Japanese: You will always be remembered as a leader in the Japanese-American community, Whitman grad, a wise professor of journalism, a devoted husband, loving father, and amazing Grampa.
I love you forever, tell Grandma I say hi and please try not to cause too much mischief and havoc in Heaven.
“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
An article from Whitman College: http://www.whitman.edu/magazine/july2000/profile.html
I still probably haven't fully processed everything, and maybe that will take more time than I would like. But it has to start somewhere.
July 26, 2014, my Grampa died peacefully in his sleep.
As hard as I tried to get home to see him to say goodbye, I know he didn't want me to see him that way. I found out he only had about a month to live while I was in Japan leading the Epic Japan Summer Project. Every day I prayed that I would make it home in time to see him one last time. I had even changed my flight from Japan so I would come back a week early, but he passed away during our debrief in Tokyo. I told him to wait for me...but my mom said he didn't want me to see him so sick. Momma was with him only about an hour before he passed away...he didn't even want her to be in the room. Sneaky Grampa to the last.
Being home was hard in August, and it's had it's moments this Christmas as well. I was reminded of him any time I walked past his room and he wasn't there, any time I walked outside to the back yard and saw his bench, where he spent so many hours sitting in the sun, any time I saw his empty shelf in the bathroom that used to have the sign "Grampa's Shelf" so he would remember not to use my things...it was hard not seeing presents under the Christmas tree for him, not hearing his laughter or seeing him put Christmas ribbons on his head like headbands, not finding acorn sculptures around the house...
Robert "Rube" Ritsuro Hosokawa, September 15, 1918 ~ July 26, 2014.
The man who survived the Japanese internment camps, who was a great journalist, Phi Beta Kappa...the man who was kicked out of Japanese school at age 10, who taught me how to be sassy, how to play poker and hunt for golf balls, who taught me songs about the Bearded Lady and how to cuss in Japanese: You will always be remembered as a leader in the Japanese-American community, Whitman grad, a wise professor of journalism, a devoted husband, loving father, and amazing Grampa.
I love you forever, tell Grandma I say hi and please try not to cause too much mischief and havoc in Heaven.
“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! we are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
An article from Whitman College: http://www.whitman.edu/magazine/july2000/profile.html
#EJSP2014
It's been several months now since Jared, Amanda and I led Epic Japan Summer Project 2014, or #EJSP2014.
It's 2015 now, in fact. And I found myself realizing that after such a whirlwind of summer and this past semester, I never finished blogging about Japan. And it's worth writing about, at least in my opinion, even if it IS midnight.
The first day on campus, we asked our students to each write letters to themselves about their fears and expectations for project. Looking back, I showed a surprising amount of foresight when I wrote:
"Mistakes are ok. Maybe that's part of what God wants you to learn this summer. Maybe it's also to help your students learn it too. Maybe a lot of what God is having you learn is so you can help show it to others. You don't have to be the perfect leader; you won't be...Dare to dream, but also dare to fail."
And I did. And I wasn't. I made so many mistakes and failed so many times. But I think through all of it, I began to learn that mistakes are not the end of the world. That God is bigger than our fears and failures. That He is Sovereign. I learned the freedom to fail, that mistakes actually help people relate to you, and that it IS ok to not be ok, and to let others into that. That God can and will use us, not just in spite of our weaknesses but sometimes even because of them.
In terms of ministry, we saw SIX Japanese students accept Christ (in fact, one accepted Christ our first day on campus - the same day I led my team to the wrong campus... #GodUsingMyMistakes). We got to see the Lord raise up student leaders and grow the Kyoto ministry. And God grew each of our students and developed their hearts for Japan, so much that a few of them are even thinking about STINTing in Japan! All in all, while it was by far the most growing, stretching, challenging, exhausting summer of my life...it was also one of the most rewarding and blessed times.
Thank you for your love, prayers and support that got me through this past summer!
And now, a look back at some of the highlights...
Epic Japan Summer Project 2014. I love you all forever.
The Road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say... ~J.R.R. Tolkien
It's 2015 now, in fact. And I found myself realizing that after such a whirlwind of summer and this past semester, I never finished blogging about Japan. And it's worth writing about, at least in my opinion, even if it IS midnight.
The first day on campus, we asked our students to each write letters to themselves about their fears and expectations for project. Looking back, I showed a surprising amount of foresight when I wrote:
"Mistakes are ok. Maybe that's part of what God wants you to learn this summer. Maybe it's also to help your students learn it too. Maybe a lot of what God is having you learn is so you can help show it to others. You don't have to be the perfect leader; you won't be...Dare to dream, but also dare to fail."
And I did. And I wasn't. I made so many mistakes and failed so many times. But I think through all of it, I began to learn that mistakes are not the end of the world. That God is bigger than our fears and failures. That He is Sovereign. I learned the freedom to fail, that mistakes actually help people relate to you, and that it IS ok to not be ok, and to let others into that. That God can and will use us, not just in spite of our weaknesses but sometimes even because of them.
In terms of ministry, we saw SIX Japanese students accept Christ (in fact, one accepted Christ our first day on campus - the same day I led my team to the wrong campus... #GodUsingMyMistakes). We got to see the Lord raise up student leaders and grow the Kyoto ministry. And God grew each of our students and developed their hearts for Japan, so much that a few of them are even thinking about STINTing in Japan! All in all, while it was by far the most growing, stretching, challenging, exhausting summer of my life...it was also one of the most rewarding and blessed times.
Thank you for your love, prayers and support that got me through this past summer!
And now, a look back at some of the highlights...
Goodbye Party with all our Japanese friends
Team Karaoke - this picture showed the intensity of karaoke night
American Sports Day Outreach Event
Team Adventure Day to Toei Studio Park
Ninja Staff Team - by far still one of my favorite pictures
While in Tokyo, I took my team to a small restaurant I used to go to on occasion when I was on STINT. The owner was still there and still remembered me after 2 years!
A look back on EJSP2014 - memories and how we saw the Lord work
Each a piece of the puzzle that makes up Epic Japan Summer Project 2014
Team Fabulous
Epic Japan Summer Project 2014. I love you all forever.
The Road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say... ~J.R.R. Tolkien
Putting God First in the Midst of Storms
Written early June, 2014. Published January 2, 2015.
"Can a fearful heart still find courage, when there's no more faith to be found?" ~ Tim Be Told
2 weeks ago, I received an email from my mom informing me that my grandpa, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, has severely declined health-wise over the past month.
That he only has about one more month to live. That Grampa is dying.
My brain immediately went into hyperdrive, and started trying to figure out what to do, how to get home to see him, how to fix him....and I broke down crying, because in that moment, I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the situation. To fix it. To fix him.
And I realized that I don't know how to be ok with not knowing what to do.
I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, and I don't know what to do to move forward.
And I don't know how to be ok with not being ok.
I don't know how to handle my own internal/personal crises when I'm supposed to be directing 12 students in a foreign country on a mission trip.
When my job is to care for others, I don't know how to care for myself.
How to deal, how to process, how to be there for my family while still being fully present and fully engaged and invested into my students, and a good director and leader.
I don't know how to balance not hiding my emotions, but not burdening anyone with them either.
I don't know how to go through crises I can't change. I like to think I have control, that I can do things that will fix situations or people...but it's times like this that I am reminded of just how small I really am in the grand scheme of things. It's as Gandalf says to Bilbo Baggins at the end of The Hobbit, after all his adventures and things he learned... "You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!" To which Bilbo replies... "Thank goodness!"
If only I could respond like that so quickly. Unfortunately my initial response to everything is "What can I do/ what should I do/ how can I fix the situation?" instead of "How is God working in the midst of this?" or simply "God, help me," when I really just want to yell at Him and say "WHY??? Why now?!
God, help me to trust you in all this, in not just the light, but in the midst of storms. Help me to still put you first and keep my focus on you even when I cannot see the way out.
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
- Oceans, Hillsong United
"Can a fearful heart still find courage, when there's no more faith to be found?" ~ Tim Be Told
2 weeks ago, I received an email from my mom informing me that my grandpa, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, has severely declined health-wise over the past month.
That he only has about one more month to live. That Grampa is dying.
My brain immediately went into hyperdrive, and started trying to figure out what to do, how to get home to see him, how to fix him....and I broke down crying, because in that moment, I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the situation. To fix it. To fix him.
And I realized that I don't know how to be ok with not knowing what to do.
I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, and I don't know what to do to move forward.
And I don't know how to be ok with not being ok.
I don't know how to handle my own internal/personal crises when I'm supposed to be directing 12 students in a foreign country on a mission trip.
When my job is to care for others, I don't know how to care for myself.
How to deal, how to process, how to be there for my family while still being fully present and fully engaged and invested into my students, and a good director and leader.
I don't know how to balance not hiding my emotions, but not burdening anyone with them either.
I don't know how to go through crises I can't change. I like to think I have control, that I can do things that will fix situations or people...but it's times like this that I am reminded of just how small I really am in the grand scheme of things. It's as Gandalf says to Bilbo Baggins at the end of The Hobbit, after all his adventures and things he learned... "You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr. Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!" To which Bilbo replies... "Thank goodness!"
If only I could respond like that so quickly. Unfortunately my initial response to everything is "What can I do/ what should I do/ how can I fix the situation?" instead of "How is God working in the midst of this?" or simply "God, help me," when I really just want to yell at Him and say "WHY??? Why now?!
God, help me to trust you in all this, in not just the light, but in the midst of storms. Help me to still put you first and keep my focus on you even when I cannot see the way out.
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
- Oceans, Hillsong United
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Freedom to Fail
We're now almost done with Week 3 of Epic Japan Summer Project 2014.
I can't believe Project is going by so quickly! It seems as if the days are long but the weeks are short. I get to the end of the week thinking "How did that happen?" I'm learning a lot about what it means to be a Project director and a leader. My focus and priority is so different as a director - everything I do, my students and staff team are my focus. Even in evangelism, my focus is to empower my students, not for me to have conversations with Japanese students necessarily.
I came into Project thinking that as a director, I had to have it all together. That as a leader, my students were looking to me for answers, for guidance, for encouragement. But I'm learning that part of being a leader is also allowing others to see your mistakes, your faults and your failures. I had a breakthrough moment when one of my students told me, "At first I was really intimidated by you because I thought you had it all together and I was afraid I was going to disappoint you. After seeing you make mistakes, I respect you so much more." It was so counter-intuitive, but it's a very much needed lesson for me.
And even as I make mistakes and fail, I am quickly learning that God is bigger than our mistakes, and uses even our failures for his glory. The first week, I led my team on a few wrong busses, and even a wrong campus. Our first day going to campus, we were supposed to go to Doshisha University. I accidentally led the students on to Doshisha Women's College. Because we had several guys on our team, we immediately were approached by guards and told to leave. We did eventually find the other university, but I felt so foolish and embarrassed. But right after we arrived at the right campus, two of our guys immediately met two Japanese students, Jo and Natsuki, in the cafeteria. Since Doshisha University was founded by a Christian, they began to talk about Christianity with them and shared how relationship with God has affected their lives. They asked Natsuki if a relationship with God was something he wanted, and he immediately said yes! Since then, Eric and Keith have been meeting up with Natsuki and teaching him more about God. Praise the Lord for our new brother, whom we never would have met except that we got to campus late because we first went to the wrong one. The Lord uses all things!
As I said before, I'm learning that being a director means I must focus more on empowering and caring for my team through training and discipleship; however, I've still been blessed with some opportunities for evangelism with my students. Our first week at Kyoto University, my student Aimee and I met two Japanese girls, Yuko and Sachiho. While their English was not great, they were very sweet and wanted to meet us again. We had lunch with them this past Wednesday, and were able to share the whole Gospel with them. They were both excited and intrigued about it, especially that a God exists who actively loves and cares for them. After we shared, Yuko said in an awed voice, “Before, I just thought of God as an idea, now I believe in God.” As they left, we told them "Anata wo Kamisama wa aishiteiru," or, "God loves you!" We plan to meet up with her and Sachiho again next week, and are so excited to share more with them!
Thank you so much for all your prayers for me and my team! Please continue to pray for spiritual protection, for energy, strength, love, patience and perseverance in our last few weeks in Kyoto!
I can't believe Project is going by so quickly! It seems as if the days are long but the weeks are short. I get to the end of the week thinking "How did that happen?" I'm learning a lot about what it means to be a Project director and a leader. My focus and priority is so different as a director - everything I do, my students and staff team are my focus. Even in evangelism, my focus is to empower my students, not for me to have conversations with Japanese students necessarily.
I came into Project thinking that as a director, I had to have it all together. That as a leader, my students were looking to me for answers, for guidance, for encouragement. But I'm learning that part of being a leader is also allowing others to see your mistakes, your faults and your failures. I had a breakthrough moment when one of my students told me, "At first I was really intimidated by you because I thought you had it all together and I was afraid I was going to disappoint you. After seeing you make mistakes, I respect you so much more." It was so counter-intuitive, but it's a very much needed lesson for me.
And even as I make mistakes and fail, I am quickly learning that God is bigger than our mistakes, and uses even our failures for his glory. The first week, I led my team on a few wrong busses, and even a wrong campus. Our first day going to campus, we were supposed to go to Doshisha University. I accidentally led the students on to Doshisha Women's College. Because we had several guys on our team, we immediately were approached by guards and told to leave. We did eventually find the other university, but I felt so foolish and embarrassed. But right after we arrived at the right campus, two of our guys immediately met two Japanese students, Jo and Natsuki, in the cafeteria. Since Doshisha University was founded by a Christian, they began to talk about Christianity with them and shared how relationship with God has affected their lives. They asked Natsuki if a relationship with God was something he wanted, and he immediately said yes! Since then, Eric and Keith have been meeting up with Natsuki and teaching him more about God. Praise the Lord for our new brother, whom we never would have met except that we got to campus late because we first went to the wrong one. The Lord uses all things!
As I said before, I'm learning that being a director means I must focus more on empowering and caring for my team through training and discipleship; however, I've still been blessed with some opportunities for evangelism with my students. Our first week at Kyoto University, my student Aimee and I met two Japanese girls, Yuko and Sachiho. While their English was not great, they were very sweet and wanted to meet us again. We had lunch with them this past Wednesday, and were able to share the whole Gospel with them. They were both excited and intrigued about it, especially that a God exists who actively loves and cares for them. After we shared, Yuko said in an awed voice, “Before, I just thought of God as an idea, now I believe in God.” As they left, we told them "Anata wo Kamisama wa aishiteiru," or, "God loves you!" We plan to meet up with her and Sachiho again next week, and are so excited to share more with them!
Thank you so much for all your prayers for me and my team! Please continue to pray for spiritual protection, for energy, strength, love, patience and perseverance in our last few weeks in Kyoto!
Waiting for busses is a daily part of life in Kyoto
English Lunchtime games at Doshisha University
Adventure Day to Kiyomizu Temple
Team pic in front of Kiyomizu
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