In Christ alone...

December is crazy. it really needs to slow down. even though it's only been a week, i feel like i've been just frantically running to catch up with life. it is basically our biggest ministry month because of Christmas. the Japanese celebrate Christmas but they have no idea what it means- every time i ask a student what they do on Christmas or why Christmas is special or why do they think they celebrate it, i've gotten answers of "i don't know" or "it's a couples holiday so we spend it with our boyfriends/girlfriends" or "we eat Christmas cake and KFC" (not kidding). SOOO it's a wonderful opportunity for us to say "well hey can i tell you the real meaning of Christmas?" Student Impact is have 3 Outreach parties/concerts in the next 2 weeks. this Saturday our gospel choir and our dance team are joining forces for a big Christmas outreach concert- between last friday night and saturday morning Holy Spirit (the dance team- i know, it's confusing) practiced 7 hours. my muscles were rather sore. on top of that, the STINTers are having our own Christmas outreach party on the 18th, so we've been furiously planning for that as well. myself and Kat are in charge of the "Heart of Christmas" skit/performance/musical, so that's been a lot of work. on top of that, of course we've had our every day ministry on campus, meeting with students, etc. it just has felt like everything has fallen like an avalanche all at once.

it's been a bit frustrating to always feel so behind, because one thing i really wanted to do in November was set aside time every day just to sit and listen to God, to be fully in His presence with no distractions, nothing, just resting in His presence and listening. Mother Teresa once said, "Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart." i regret to say i did not do this every day. i became very frustrated with myself that i was putting other things in my life before time with God. a song that really spoke to my heart was "Something's Gotta Change" by Josh Wilson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DewDmDm3YqM

i realized i had been putting God on my To-Do List. that time with God was simply one more thing to do in the day. i remembered something i'd heard over a year ago, that we shouldn't be making God a number on our to-do list, but making Him the TITLE of our to- do list. that everything on our to-do list would fall under the title of God's Plan. God's To-Do List, not Kimi's. it was good to remember this, but i started feeling guilty about it, to be honest, guilty that i had been putting my things i "needed" to do before time with God. we were having worship time as a team, and we were singing "In Christ Alone" and i just started crying. i heard Jesus saying "kimi- look what i did for you. I love you. I love you. that is enough." if you've never heard "In Christ Alone," it's absolutely amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcpLZgCwcEE&feature=fvsr

i was going to just put my favorite lyrics, and then realized i couldn't choose, so here are the lyrics: they are the Truth, and through Christ we have FREEDOM. pretty exciting, yeah?

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life?s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
?Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

last night henry said something i needed to hear:
there is nothing you can do to make God love you more, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you less.

may we never forget that.