yesterday i went to an all-day sports festival with about 150 students, mostly from Waseda University but also a few random ones as well. i was invited by my friend Yuki, who's club WHabitat (Waseda Habitat for Humanity) had parterned with 2 other clubs to put on the sports festival. i had hoped my team would be in Japan by then because it would have been a fantastic place for them to connect with students. but there's still no word on their Certificates of Eligibility, nor why it's taking so long...anyway. since my team couldn't go, i invited some of the people i know working for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Tokyo. one of the guys, ryan, replied and said he wanted to join. i couldn't have been more encouraged and thankful. at least, that's what i thought. God knew exactly what i needed yesterday. had a great time at the festival and met a ton of new students, but the best part of the day was after the festival. because ryan and i actually hadn't even seen each other since like february, we decided to go to Starbucks and catch up. during that time, God just totally spoke through him and pretty much said everything i needed to hear. for the past two months i've just been dealing with the fact that my team isn't here and i've had to do ministry by myself. i've done my best not to complain or whine too much, but i think maybe in downplaying it i've tricked myself into thinking i'm ok, because it's the only way i've been able to get through it. but God, speaking through ryan, told me it's ok to recognize that it's not ok. man, seriously, he said everything i needed to hear. that i've been faithful. that i've done the best that i can. that yes, maybe i've made a few mistakes, but God's bigger than them and He still used them for His glory. that He loves me and is with me. but also, ryan acknowledged that my being alone is not ok. he apologized on behalf of YWAM for not recognizing my need for fellowship, community and ministry partners earlier and helping me. he affirmed me in what i'd been doing and rebuked the idea that i'd not been doing enough. i wish i could explain everything. even little things like him buying me a water bottle, giving me a hug and telling me i'm pretty- those little things meant the world to me at that time. after Starbucks he invited me over to the YWAM house where most of the YWAM people were hanging out, just so i could experience some fellowship. i wish i could describe the feeling. sitting on a couch surrounded by people my age...it's the first time in 2 months that i've been around more than 2 people and it hasn't been ministry related. it was amazing.
on the way home i listened to Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc):
Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails...
the bridge repeats "You make all things work together for my good" over and over. that song was pretty much my STINT anthem last year, and it seems that this year it's even more applicable. i listened to the song on repeat all the way home, because each time the words struck me again and again how true they were. God reminded me that "i'm not alone in these open seas" and that He makes "all things work together for my good."
then this morning at church we sang the songs "Still I Will Praise You," "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and "Lord, I Give You My Heart." such perfect songs for my heart right now. reminders that i can still praise God even during difficult times, that His faithfulness is always great and He always provides. as the song goes, "morning by morning new mercies I see/ all i have needed Thy hand hath provided, great is They faithfulness Lord unto thee."
today's sermon was about what it means to follow Christ, and focused on taking up your cross daily and following Jesus. once again, such a perfectly timed reminder for me. God is so gracious with His reminders.
in other news, the USC Trojans beat Oregon today. IN Oregon. after a ridiculously long streak of never winning a game in Oregon, it seems as if USC football is back! this really doesn't have much to do with this blogpost other than it was a really wonderful way to begin my Sunday. so yeah this whole weekend has pretty much been a huge blessing from God. His love never fails.
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