"Give Thanks in All Circumstances..."

so two weeks ago/last week, i did not have the best outlook on things.

i was annoyed and frustrated with God. i kept thinking, "come ON, God! it's the end of October! how is my team STILL not here? how do we STILL have no word about their CoEs? how? WHY???" i was feeling sorry for myself and my team. i was definitely focusing on my team and myself, not God.

then on November 1st, i helped out with ICU High School ministry. at ICU High School, we have a lunch gathering called Let's Talk once a week where we have snacks with students and talk about a certain topic that relates to their lives as well as God. this whole month we're focusing on Thanksgiving, and giving thanks for certain things in our lives. we talked about 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." ........man, was i convicted. here was a lesson that i was supposed to be teaching to high school students, and yet i had not been doing it at all. and why not? because i had been so focused on what i DIDN'T have, instead of what i did. because i had been more focused on what i wanted, what i thought was right. i was indignant that i didn't understand my circumstances, and of course since i didn't understand them, i thought they were not right. so not true! an ant doesn't understand a human because an ant's perception of a human is the centimeter he sees of our feet. so it is with our perspective of God and His plans. we can't understand them. they are too big. He is too big. it's a choice to trust even when we don't understand. that's why it's called faith. God has blessed me in so many amazing ways since i've been in Japan, and yet i have not been thanking him, i've just been complaining that my team isn't here with me.

for two days, i listened to the song Blessed Be Your Name on repeat. as i biked home, i looked up at the clear night sky and thanked God that even though i'm 1/2 way around the world, the stars are the same as home, that wherever i am in the world, i am home, because God is with me. i have been trying to look at the good in my life, and remember all the blessings God gives me even though i totally don't deserve it. yes i totally still miss my team, but i am going to choose to trust God in this.

God has also been blessing me like crazy through my yosakoi team, Odori Samurai. we've been having a ton of practices to get ready for Waseda University's huge festival, Waseda-sai, but it's been such a blessing to grow relationships with the Samurai and God's been allowing me to meet new people every practice who speak at least a bit of English! sometimes it's easy to feel insecure with the Samurai, mostly b/c of the language barrier, but even little things like one girl telling me that all the Samurai think i'm so kind, or people trying to speak English for me even though they are not confident, make me feel so good and blessed. i was talking to one girl about not doing a performance because i felt like other Samurai should do it instead, and she said "what are you talking about? you are Samurai. you're a part of us." .....man even just that simple statement was so encouraging.

this month of November, i'm going to give thanks to God in all circumstances, i am going to trust Him even when i don't understand, and rely not on myself, but on Him and His goodness.

but please keep praying for my team and that they will get here in the next couple weeks!!!!